Question: What can I take from a friend—thoughts, desires, or efforts?

Answer: You cannot take anything directly from him. You can only perceive the external side of his work, the way he thinks and acts. For example, you see that he is constantly writing—so why aren’t you writing? He is always taking notes, and then, apparently, he continues working on something at home. Perhaps that is not even all he does. So, find out what he is engaged in, but do it without his knowing.

Look only at what is good, and close your eyes to what is bad. Why spoil everything for yourself? You should be taking something good from your friend so that you will have fuel. Therefore, look at him from his good side.

Let’s say you weigh 50 kilograms. If you weighed as much as he does, you would probably sleep twice as much. Yet somehow, he finds the strength to sleep less. So give him credit for that. Look at how heavy he is, and yet he still makes the effort, like a diligent little bear.

When you look at your friend, pay attention to all sorts of small details and draw benefit from them. This is what it means to judge your friend favorably. The Torah presents, not prohibitions, but advice for your personal advancement, for your own benefit. No one needs what you do or do not do. It is entirely about you, about your own personal correction. All the prohibitions and all the advice are directed solely toward making things better for you.

Judge your friend favorably. In any case, you will not harm him. Otherwise, you simply will not receive from him the help and the additional strength that you could have gained. The entire loss will be yours.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/2/26, Rabash, “What Does It Mean that the Torah Was Given Out of the Darkness in the Work?”

Related Material:
Exalt the Friends
Give Strength to Friends
Advancing Friends To The Goal

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