Question: Why is the addition of egoism not felt as a great desire in the preparation stage?

Answer: A greater will to receive that comes to you lowers you from your degree. But you do not feel it as greater egoism, you feel it as additional pleasure.

The new will to receive that arrives gives you this opportunity; it obliges you to act. You don’t feel that the desire itself has grown; rather, you feel that your pleasure could be more intense if you were to indulge in it since you are thinking only about the pleasure itself and not about the One who gives it.

What spoils your connection with the Creator? The new desire! It does not erase the pleasure; it erases your connection with the Creator. If it had erased the pleasure, you would suddenly feel emptiness and immediately awaken. Instead, you feel that you are immersed in pleasures; it only that the Creator has vanished from your perception of reality.

Furthermore, the sensation of pleasure bribes you. Gradually, a person becomes accustomed to this state of affairs: he enjoys for himself, naturally not for the sake of the Creator, since he is still in “Lo Lishma,” yet at the same time he does not want to lose the connection with the Creator under any circumstances and constantly seeks it.

He wants to feel that he is in the Creator’s world, in some kind of sphere filled by the Creator, and he continuously tries to hold onto this state. These are the efforts. He tries to carry them out by all possible means, and as a result, the sum of his efforts fills his “cup,” and he crosses the Machsom.

As for the descents along the way, nothing can be done about them. How many will there be? No one knows. It is impossible to say how much time will pass between ascents and descents, because this depends on the person; in this lies his effort and his choice.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/23/26, Rabash, “The Measure of Practicing Mitzvot [Commandments]”

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