State 1 (our present state) is “bestowal to oneself” in which our pleasure and desired fulfillment reside.

State 2 (the state we want to reach) is bestowal to the Creator, which will be our pleasure, and here there is a contradiction.

In bestowal to oneself, both the action itself, the work, and the reward are all in one direction, in one line. Therefore, this is called the direct light, and everything here is clear to us; the beginning and the end, and the attainment of this final goal all stream in one direction, toward myself.

But if I want bestowal to the Creator to be my pleasure, then there is a problem of the opposition between intention and result because I need a correction of intention, which is against my desire!

Bestowal to the Creator must turn into receiving pleasure for me! And I am obliged to enjoy it because that is the purpose of creation, but the enjoyment must come from bestowal, and this is completely opposite to me!

The goal of creation is enjoyment, and the correction of creation is bestowal. But these two conditions contradict each other. This is the main obstacle and difficulty in our perception that always blocks our path and deprives us of the opportunity to realize what we intend.

On the one hand, we must apply great efforts and do a tremendous amount of work, and on the other hand, its result does not depend on us; it is given from above. We only reveal the desire in ourselves the desire with our work; we do not obtain the goal itself; we attain the Kli, the vessel that can contain it.

Therefore, these two opposites—bestowal to the Creator and enjoyment from this—can be united only through our adhesion with Him. And only the upper light, which changes our nature, can bring us to this adhesion.

From a state in which the heart rules over a person, and therefore, in the terms of Kabbalah he is called a “sinner,” we must pass to a state in which the person within us rules over his heart, and therefore, is called a “righteous one.” There is only one solution for attaining this goal: a Kabbalistic group, which serves an example for us, a framework, a template in which we can check ourselves and see to what extent we correspond to this goal or not.

The group is able to instill in me that nothing is more precious to me than bestowal to the Creator! But, on the other hand, I reveal that I am capable of nothing and only the Creator can help me. In this way I come to the necessary desire, to a prayer.

But presently, these two polar opposites do not exist in us: Keter and Malchut, direct light and reflected light, the inverse correspondence of light and desire, all exist only in the corrected Kli where the intention is opposite to the desire.

This is the model we need to build within ourselves for the first time, the first ten Sefirot, and then we will acquire an inner structure, like the first cell of a new organism from which the embryo of the soul will further develop.
[20357]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/31/10, Rabash, “What Are the Two Actions During a Descent?”

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