Question: What to do when one friend is dismissive of another, the friend judges the other one based on his appearance or status?

Answer: It gradually passes, depending on what you get greater impressions from, meaning, what you value more.

By looking at a person, if I can scan his appearance once and identify certain signs that are purely outwardly positive or negative for me, for example, character, etc., then I lay them out and sort them. This is how every person is arranged. Then I scan his inner qualities, which are only related to his spiritual path.

After that, I have to give myself an account of what is most important to me in him.

It is possible that he is a redhead and I do not like redheads. It is possible that he is dirty and  I do not like such people either, and so on and so forth, no matter what it is that repels me outwardly. We know from psychology all these conditions.

Then I analyze the internal conditions: how much this person is dear to me, how much I depend on him, and how suddenly I am imbued with his greatness, integrity, directness, and aspiration. As it turns out, he really does not care about himself and therefore is slovenly, untidy, and does not pay attention to himself.

That is, I begin to reveal completely different qualities in him, and they are very dear to me. Then they suppress everything else in me, I stop noticing absolutely everything external that once repelled me. This is no longer a barrier for me.
[310771]
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Prejudice Against a Friend” 11/24/12

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Do Not Hurt A Friend
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What Do We Gain From Love Of Friends?

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