Question: How can we teach the wisdom of connection when the idea of connecting to others seems so repulsive and undesirable in some sectors of society?
Answer: There are indeed certain parts of society who regard the connection between people in a very negative light and who deliberately spoil such relationships in order to delineate the boundaries of each: this is mine, this is yours, and don’t invade my territory.
This happens everywhere today. Everyone tries to be as far apart from others as possible, not to touch anyone and not to be touched by others. People behave in a very politically correct manner: I don’t touch you and you don’t touch me. At the same time, there are many problems in society, illnesses, tension, and stress. All this is felt in the family and in our relationships with our children.
A person wasn’t created by nature to be under constant stress. The fact that continuous stress has become a permanent condition is even worse. This problem is well known and felt among people who live in expensive areas.
It is especially a problem of the middle class. Ordinary people are more open and live differently. This is the reason that they have fewer health problems and don’t need a personal psychologist like people from the upper and middle class.
The simpler the people the easier it is for them to connect and therefore they are healthier. But people who are more “well-off” have greater and more serious health problems although they have the means to look after themselves.
Under these conditions the protective force of the body obliges a person to shut himself off from everyone by a mask of good manners and to guard his boundaries. A habit becomes a second nature and it is very difficult to get rid of it. What is more, society supports this and it becomes a norm.
This is a very problematic attitude that leads to many problems on different levels: from the lowest level, which means our health, to our relationships with children and nature, which lead to all the defects of modern society and even to genetic changes.
A person isn’t made to feel lonely and to treat others as strangers. We are naturally made to connect more strongly with our family as we grow and develop, but we don’t do so.
A baby is connected to his mother on the physical level, and as he grows this connection becomes more emotional but external. As we mature from being a baby, a child, a youth, and an adult, we draw further away from our mother.
Apparently we don’t need her care anymore and don’t ask her to take us in her arms, but we have to complement this connection on the emotional level. We don’t do that and this is the reason for practically all our problems. All the problems and illnesses are actually caused by lack of connection.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/20/14, Writings of Rabash