What Inspires Me?
I always have to look for the most comfortable means that will help me feel inspired as fast as possible by the importance of the goal. This will enable me to aspire to the “place” or the “drop of unity” where I eventually hope to reveal the Creator. In this regard, everything depends on my current state. Various Reshimot are constantly surfacing in me. As a rule, I start to build the intention from an unconscious, vague, and “dry” state, without a drop of feeling and reason.
Thus, I have to awaken from this “stupor” so I burn up with such a strong desire that if I don’t reveal at this very moment what the Kabbalistic book is telling me about that “death is better” than this life without upper attainment.
We have to look for and use everything that can excite and touch us. Sometimes the group helps, reminding me about unity, mutual guarantee, and responsibility. Sometimes I am inspired by thoughts about the Creator as a wonderful, exalted goal. Sometimes I am excited by the action itself and the work to unite with friends in spite of the disturbances. It is necessary to look for means that will make me have an inextricable spiritual demand while reading the Kabbalistic texts at the lesson.
The approach to these texts has to be balanced. In principle I have reason to complain. On one hand, if I don’t understand anything at all, then I don’t have anything to latch on to. On the other hand, when I start to pay attention to the content, I feed the mind and lose the intention.
That’s why Baal HaSulam writes the following in “Letter 17”: “It’s best for you to hold on to the goal and aspire to the directions of the Host. After all, one who does not know the ways of the Host and the directions of Host, meaning the secrets of the Torah, how will he serve Him? This is the surest guarantee of the middle line out of the three.”
We aspire to understand what we have to to do, asking, “Give us the mind, give us the forces, direct us, explain it to us, show it through example so we would act correctly.” You can demand all of this from the Creator the way a child demands it from an adult. From the child’s end only a desire is necessary, while the adults provide him with all that is necessary. I collect this desire in the group, from my friends. Therein lies my free choice.
From Above I receive everything I need on the spiritual path, besides the demand, which I have to develop on my own. It will come only when I get inspired from the environment by the greatness of the goal. Then the inspiration will break out of the heart and I will aspire to the directions of the Host with all of my strength in order to learn to serve Him.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/13/10, The Zohar
The Light Of The Egoistic Desires
Why Personal Freedom Is Essential
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