Answer: Maybe it’s a good feeling. We exist in a reality which is unfolding only within us. Right now, I am speaking with “you,” a part of my soul, and with other people all over the world, but all of them reside within me. And beside me, there is only the upper force split into multiple parts.
I should arrange all of my desires in order to mutually connect them with each other, incorporate all those who seem alien within myself, and love them as myself. I must merge with all of reality and become one whole with it. Then, I will see that all of it is mine, and there is only one Light that fills one desire.
And until then, I naturally get confused and undergo very obscure states. But it doesn’t threaten me. I must perceive the reality correctly, meaning that I have to begin feeling that all of this is happening within me. It is my “I,” and it is only due to my inner division that I mistakenly perceive my own parts as being outside of me.
For example, I had a surgery under local anesthesia. I didn’t feel anything, but in the mirror I saw what the surgeons were doing: inserting a needle and cutting a part of the flesh that didn’t seem to belong to me. I didn’t feel it as mine because of the anesthesia. However, since I was still aware that it was my part, despite the fact that I didn’t feel it under a local anesthetic, it was interesting for me to watch what was being done to it.
In essence, we are precisely in such a reality. But as soon as this “anesthesia,” the fog, dissipates, you start to experience and feel reality as your own, and everything looks different! Then, you see that you are dealing only with the Creator, the “Good Who does good.”
It turns out that your ability to feel the “Good Who does good” instead of a threat, to sense eternity, perfection, and harmony instead of your current state, depends on how you attach all of these seemingly alien desires to yourself.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/13/10, Beit Shaar HaKavanot