Before I start studying, “engaging in the Torah,” the key is to know what and why I am studying and what I will get from it. The Torah is the only medium that can help us reach the goal. There are probably multiple conditions to that, but all of them are necessary solely in order to form a correct connection with the Torah for us.
“The Torah” is the Upper Light that affects and reforms us so that we get to know the Creator, the Upper Force, and appreciate Him as the Giver, as love itself, which lies above our essence: the will to receive pleasure.
This is why the prayer book opens with special blessings that we bring before the study: We give thanks for the opportunity to study the Torah. A person feels that it is worthwhile to study the Torah which is designated solely for the correction of the evil inclination. This is described as: “I created the evil inclination, and I created the Torah as a spice for it.”
If it weren’t for the evil inclination, the Creator wouldn’t have created this special Light, the unique system of reforming us. And now, seeing the inner evil unfold, a person truly needs the Torah. And if it isn’t the case, a person doesn’t study the Torah since he isn’t connected with the system that teaches him about inner changes.
I need to become aware of my evil and wish to get rid of it; I need to understand that there is no way out of it and only the Upper Light will reform me. Then, I will turn to the Creator in the correct manner.
The journey may be long. Most don’t have a clue about it, while others think they practice the Torah although it isn’t really so; for them, the Torah is not the instrument of correction and ascent to the Creator.
First of all, a person has to find out what inner part of him needs to get corrected. I think not about what I will get from the Torah but what must be reformed in me. After all, the Torah is a “spice” which conceals the Light that Reforms. What then is corrupted in me? What requires correction?
I must visualize both these forms, the corrupted and the corrected ones, as clearly as possible and expect liberation, the force that will help me to transit from the first to the second spiritual degree. Having constructed this crystal clear, accurate system, I anticipate and demand assistance from Above so that it all comes true.
If the evil inclination is evil for me indeed, if I understand what correction is exactly and am determined to come to it, then I draw the force of the Torah, the Light that descends and reforms me. And that is when I truly do “engage in the Torah.”
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/16/10, "Introduction of The Book of Zohar," Article “The Letters by Rabbi Amnon Saba”