Question: Ever since I started studying Kabbalah I feel so small, as if I’m a tiny embryo, and I feel less and less confident as time goes by. Where will I suddenly get real confidence in this single force that controls the entire universe, sets up all the problems for me, and is my only source of support?
Answer: Usually a person finds confidence in religion when he believes that there is a Creator who is good, who will take care of him, and whom he can trust. This worldview sets in deep inside a person and supports him, which is why Kabbalists do not speak out against religion.
However, there comes a time when a new desire awakens in a person and he can no longer be calmed by the blind faith of the past. He develops and outgrows it. Traditional actions are no longer enough for him; he wants to know the Creator!
Ideally, we should have ascended from religion (Dat) to knowledge (Daat) and realized what is written, “Know the Creator.” However, in actuality this is not happening.
In actuality it is only possible to achieve this by connecting with a Kabbalistic group. There is no other means. The group must be the place where you can attain the Creator, the quality of bestowal.
The sensation of insecurity comes only from a lack of the quality of bestowal. As soon as you are ready to bestow, you will feel total confidence and will acquire freedom from yourself! That’s because bestowal is Bina.
Then you will live without any fear and your only worry will be, “When will I attain the deeds of the forefathers through my deeds? When will I be able to bestow to the Creator?” Or in other words, when will I ascend even higher than Bina?
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/13/10, “A Handmaid that is Heir to Her Mistress”