Question: Is the fulfillment, which I experience from time to time, reception with the intention to please myself? After all, I don’t feel the screen.

Answer: For now, yes, since present fulfillments are impressions from the Surrounding Lights in still unprepared desires (Kelim or vessels) which are unable to perceive these Lights and translate them from external to internal.

The Inner Light can be received solely with the help of the screen, according to my capacity to perceive another’s desire as my own. The value of the attached desire (Aviut or coarseness) is used to measure the value (thickness) of the screen.

Suppose I can absorb 10 ounces of your desire and accept it as my own so that it would exist in me as an embryo (Ibur) and I would take care of it. In other words, the measure of “mine-yours” connection is 10 ounces of your desires that I can fill. What I feel in your desire filled by me is regarded as the Inner Light, Ohr Pnimi.

Next, I suddenly feel rejection: A new revelation of egoism has surfaced. Above it, I connect with the past 10-oz desire and take care of it despite the egoism, meaning with an increased screen which is regarded as “nurturing or feeding” (Katnut, Yenika) when we are separated by a great distance, but I still overcome it. Then, I feel a greater rejection. I rise above it yet again, but this stage is called “adulthood” (Gadlut, Mochin).

In relation to whom is it called “embryo,” “feeding,” and “adulthood”? It’s in relation to me since I perform this work, and you are probably unaware of it.

This is how we evaluate the magnitude of the screen and get impressed by the Surrounding Light, Ohr Makif, or Inner Light, Ohr Pnimi.
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From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/31/10, The Zohar

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