A Conman In My Own Right

Dr. Michael LaitmanPerception of reality, as the wisdom of Kabbalah teaches us, is very subjective. Reality is perceived solely in relation to us and our sensory organs. But outside of them, there is no reality; it doesn’t exist. We receive it as an image on the screen located in the “hind” part of our brain, as if reality exists irrespective of us, on the outside.

As The Book of Zohar explains, I see parts of my will to receive to the extent that it differs from the Light, to the degree that my desire to receive varies from the attribute of bestowal that characterizes the Light.

Our collective desire, the single creature, was initially in the state of “Infinity.” Then it descended from the property of “Infinity” to that of “our world” by experiencing the breaking, meaning changing its property from bestowal to reception.

Through the breaking, this big soul divided into 600,000 individual souls and then into a multitude of parts that ended up in “our world,” an egoistic property. This is why we feel that there are many of us, although in truth, each of us sees only parts of his own soul.

We study that the soul is comprised of 10 Sefirot. They are divided into GE (Galgalta ve Eynaim) and AHP (Awzen, Hotem, Peh). GE contains the Sefirot of Keter, Hochma, Bina, Hesed, Gevura, and Tifferet, which are the vessels (desires) of bestowal, whereas AHP contains Netzah, Hod, Yesod, and Malchut, the vessels of reception.

It turns out that I perceive reality by means of these ten vessels or desires. What I perceive within GE is my self, my “I,” and what I perceive in AHP is the illusory, external world I see outside of myself.

Essentially, I have experienced an internal tearing of the vessels of GE and AHP. I perceive my greatest desires that were supposed to bring me the greatest pleasures as alien, like all of you, for example. You all are the vessels of my AHP. I experience “I,” myself, and everything related to me in GE of my soul. In my ego, I am constantly preoccupied with this specific part, and all my calculations aim at my personal benefit.

I perceive the part referred to AHP as completely alien to me. Moreover, I am willing to use it in any way I can for as long it may serve my benefit. Hence, it looks like I am constantly trying to fool, lie to, and steal from myself, but I am neither aware of it nor feel it.

Later, when a person begins discerning it, he arrives to great disappointment. Therefore, the method of Kabbalah, before anything else, stresses the need to unite, although it must not occur in the corporeal plane (between you and me). The entire method is aimed at the necessity to unify and correct the soul, meaning that I must unify these two parts in my perception.

So now, what I see outside of myself and experience within myself, these two parts, have to become one whole. Then, we will truly see that there is nothing but a person, and what I observe inwardly and outwardly is my “self,” my “I,” or my will to receive (desire).
From Lesson 2, World Kabbalah Convention 2010, 11/9/10

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  1. Hello everyone, Hello Rav!
    We are all so lucky! This blog is amazing. The Kli is amazing. All of you people who want spirituality are amazing! The kenes, the blows, the ascents, and meeting Pharoah, all amazing! A few years ago, on my spiritual journey, I went Baal Tshuvah… Wore a kipah, tefillin, tzitzit, ate kosher, went to shul… All the corporeal mitzvahs I tried— but I stopped because I couldn’t find kavannah anywhere? What were all these people doing in shul? What were they doing all these things for? To find the Rav and the authentic method of Kabbalah which focuses solely on kavannah, intention, rising above the ego! Wow! The way the focus is always the focus! The truth is always at hand and never lost. It’s amazing and we are truly lucky people. Thank you all! Thanks to the Boreh!

  2. Yesterday, in the lesson, I felt an ephemeral point of “easiness”, by which I wondered, how “we” could not possibly see and experience the truth. Kind of like slipping in through a keyhole or something, but alas, then, “poof” it was gone.

    Together with you,


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