State 1 (our present state) is “bestowal” to oneself, which is comprised of our pleasure and the desired fulfillment. State 2 (the state we wish to achieve) is bestowal to the Creator, which will constitute pleasure for us. And herein lies the contradiction.
In “bestowal” to oneself, the action itself, the work, and the reward are all in one direction, in one line. Therefore, it is called the Direct Light, and everything is clear to us here. The beginning, the end, and the achievement of this final goal are directed in one direction: toward me.
But if I wish to delight in bestowal to the Creator, then the problem of opposite intention and result emerges. I need to correct the intention, and it’s against my desire! Bestowal to the Creator should turn into reception of pleasure for me. And I must enjoy since that is the plan of creation. Yet the enjoyment should come from bestowal, and this is completely opposite to me!
The purpose of creation is pleasure, and the correction of creation is bestowal. However, these two conditions contradict each other. This is the main obstacle and difficulty of our perception, which constantly blocks our path, depriving us of an opportunity to realize what was planned.
We have to exert great effort and perform enormous work on the one hand, and yet on the other, its outcome does not depend on us; it is given from Above. Meanwhile we only reveal our desire through our work. We don’t acquire the goal, but rather, obtain the Kli, the vessel that can hold it.
Therefore, these two opposites (bestowal to the Creator and the pleasure derived from it) will unite only from adhesion with Him. And only the Upper Light, which changes our nature, can bring us to this adhesion.
We need to change from the state in which the heart controls the person (and for this reason Kabbalah considers such a person “wicked”) to a state where a human being in us governs over the heart and thus a person is called “righteous.” And there is only one solution for achieving this: the Kabbalistic group, which is a model, an example, and the framework in which we can check ourselves and see to what extent we correspond to this goal or not.
The group is capable of convincing me that I don’t have anything more valuable than bestowal to the Creator! On the other hand, however, I reach the conclusion that I am incapable of anything, and only the Creator can help me. In this manner I reach the needed desire, a prayer.
However, right now we lack these two polar opposites: Keter and Malchut, the Direct Light and the Reflected Light, the reverse correspondence to the Light and the desire. All of this is contained only in the corrected Kli that has an intention against the desire.
We need to build this model of the first 10 Sefirot within ourselves for the first time. Then we will have the inner structure, like a first cell of a new organism, from which the embryo of the soul will develop.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/31/10, “What Are the Two Actions During the Time of Descent?”