A question I received: The more you explain the structure of the spiritual worlds, the more confused I am. Why does this happen?

My Answer: Imagine that I go to a doctor and tell him about some of my external symptoms. He asks me to undergo medical tests, checks the results, and discusses them with another doctor. When they talk among themselves, I understand nothing although they are talking about me, my sensations, and my health. This is because their discussion about me is on a more internal, complex level, about what actually is occurring inside of me.

Then they give me a pill; its content is also unknown to me. I take it, simply trusting that they and the prescribed pill will help me. Of course, they have confused me with their technical medical discussion and I should have never listened to them. Yet, in our world the pill will work regardless of one’s understanding of what the doctor says.

Here during the study, I read what these Kabbalistic “doctors” write about me: one Kabbalist writes to another describing what happens internally to souls in the system where the souls have to correct themselves. Of course, I understand nothing about it! However, because I get involved in this story and want to understand and feel it, I connect to them and get closer to becoming like them.

If I want to become a “doctor” like them, I use my connection with them and learn. If I feel confused but want to grasp the essence, if I feel that the book explains the correction of my soul, I  have no choice. I must learn their language (like Latin used in the medical field) and then I understand what they are talking about.

Kabbalists wrote these books for their fellow Kabbalists. They talk among themselves in the language that they understand because this language explains different worlds and spiritual concepts. At this point, I don’t understand what they mean at all.

However, if I aspire to understand what they teach me, and I strive to live in it and feel it, then I open these books and try to enter them. The level of my understanding does not matter. What matters is my wanting to enter inside with my feelings, rather than to my attempting to understand it with my external mind. I have to ask for revelation.

I have to see what they write about. They describe what they see and feel, and I have to want to feel this as well. This is why my lack of understanding, vision, and feeling will only push me to advance.

From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/2/10, Talmud Eser Sefirot

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