A question I received: I watched your children’s lesson where you explained that everything around us is an imaginary world (Olam Dimioni). In this lesson and other lectures you gave on this topic, people always reach a point of confusion and bring up the question, “So this means that I can imagine anything whatsoever? Then why does this world still appear corporeal, and why do my fantasies remain fantasies?”

My Answer: Man has two mechanisms for creating the imaginary reality. One if them lies beyond our consciousness. It is deeper, and is responsible for creating the picture of the world that we call “reality.” The second mechanism of creating pictures lies within our consciousness and is more superficial. This is the one we all know and we use it when creating our fantasies.

We are only able to control the second mechanism, but not the first, fundamental one. That’s because it forms and begins working in us even before we achieve self-awareness. Hence the work of this mechanism is not registered in our consciousness and simply appears to us as the normal, habitual picture of reality.

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Questions I received on relationships:

Question: What does a man look for in a woman?

My Answer: “Consolation” (fulfillment), as it says in the Torah (Beresheet 3:23): “Because she comes from me.”

Question: Should she be pretty and quiet, or should she just be herself?

My Answer: She should have everything necessary to complete “Adam.”

Question: In one of your articles you recommend your regular students to dedicate fifteen minutes a day to their wives. Is this so, and if yes, then what is the reason for it?

My Answer: Kabbalah obligates people to dedicate a specific amount of time and attention to their spouses. People today are busier than ever before, and hence we’ve set a rule in the group that besides taking care of the home and children, spouses have to sit down together and calmly talk for at least fifteen minutes a day.

What about you, are you able to speak with your husband calmly and on a daily basis? Does this ever happen?

Question: I got divorced two months ago. In a TV show you said that you are against divorce. I did everything to prevent it, but I’ve read some books and I know that Kabbalah says that sometimes people get married and have children, but their union is not “meant to be.” People get divorced and then find their proper match, someone who’s meant for them. Is this true?

My Answer: Kabbalah does not forbid divorce, especially in cases when one’s married life prevents one from attaining the purpose of one’s life in this world – the goal of creation. However, in other cases, it’s usually best to avoid getting a divorce.

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Three questions I received on ritual observance and Kabbalah:

Question: To my regret, I was raised in a family that observed the Jewish traditions, and I even studied in a Yeshiva. Now I am completely secular, do not observe the traditions, and feel perfectly satisfied with this. However, I feel pressure from my environment to observe the commandments at the corporeal level. Can you offer me some advice on how to deal with this and how to avoid fighting with my wife (I am married with four children)?

My Answer: If a person was raised with the traditions and believes in reward and punishment for them, then it is very difficult to quit observing the traditions. Your wife believes that by observing the earthy commandments you earn the world to come for her and her children, and that you will receive a reward and the Creator’s benevolence. This makes her feel like her life has meaning and gives her the energy to live. Don’t take this away from her! When in front of her, observe what she asks for.

Question: I have been born and raised as an Orthodox Jew. I want to study Kabbalah, but I don’t want to follow the 613 Mitzvot. It feels really burdensome having to follow so many Mitzvot. At the same time the idea of studying Kabbalah is wholly interesting to me as well as the various concepts that you espouse on your great blog. How should I think about this matter?

My Answer: Without changing anything about you or your lifestyle, study Kabbalah, alongside the rest of the earthly Torah. We do not accept Orthodox Jews or even Kipot Srugot (knitted yarmulkes) into our core group, but virtual study is your right.

Question: I came to orthodox religion and left it after I failed to find the Creator there and realized that it was the wrong path. My question is: are there such things as a supreme judge and judgment, and reward and punishment, the way the orthodox believe?

My Answer: What exists is:

1. The Creator, the Law of Nature;
2. The creature; and
3. The connection between them.

The goal of creation is to attain adhesion with the Creator. The means to attain it is by correcting the creature from “for one’s own sake” to “for the sake of Creator.” Then the Creator becomes revealed within the creature. This is what Kabbalah talks about, and this is what exists.

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Three questions I received on childhood and teaching Kabbalah to children:

Question: Everyone thinks that it’s wonderful being a child. I’ve been observing my own and other children, the games they play and their relationships. What I see is an endless and extremely difficult power struggle. In addition, children work very hard every moment of their lives, even while playing. So where did people get this idea of a wonderful, easy and pleasant childhood? I don’t see that it is any of these, not even for a moment!

My Answer: Because man wants to justify his existence, he creates illusions of a happy life during childhood, when he used to play in a hut with his sweethearts and friends, imagining that they were in paradise. However, nothing of the sort ever takes place in our egoistic qualities, despite the wonderful fantasies, dreams and movies about it.

In our time we are starting to realize that all of these “wonderful” things are in fact absolutely monstrous and absurd. When we lose our illusions and reach a new, real perception of reality, we will perceive perfection through the qualities of love and bestowal, which will be above our egoism rather than inside it.

Question: At what age can we start teaching children Kabbalah, and how do we do it?

My Answer: To learn about this, visit our “Kabbalah on Education” and “Kabbalah for Children” sections.

Question: I love watching the Bnei Baruch children’s lessons, but I always fall asleep when watching any other lessons. I’m a mother and I pass my insight on to my children. However, it’s difficult for me to get through other lessons. How can I advance?

My Answer: Do it together with your children – and that’s sufficient!

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A question I received: I cannot focus on studying The Book of Zohar, even though it is my greatest desire to understand this book. The most prevalent commandment in Christianity is, “Thou shalt not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people; but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself: I am Jehovah” (Leviticus 19:18). Jesus taught that we have to love those who hate us and pray for those who haunt us. Isn’t this also a principle in Kabbalah?

My Answer: Every religion puts itself above other religions and teachings, and this is because all religions emerged from man’s egoism. This is the reason for the hatred between different religions and nations. Even within one religion, there is hatred between its different branches.

The commandment “Thou shalt not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people; but thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” is incomplete. Kabbalah teaches us to love not only our own people, but all the people in the world. Looking back at history, we won’t find anyone who loved those who hated and haunted them. On the contrary, history is full of hatred and violence, which are spawned by religion to this day. Religion has always divided and separated different nations from each other, instigating them one against the other and imposing itself on the people by fire and sword.

All religions will die out because they arose from egoism after the destruction of the Temple. This was when the people of Israel fell from the level of “love for one’s neighbor” to the level of “unfounded hatred for one’s neighbor” – and they are still on this level, along with everyone else. Kabbalah is above religion; it appeals to everyone in the world because it teaches that we are all part of the common soul of Adam, without any difference between us. Every person is equally necessary in order for everyone to attain the full correction. If even one person is missing, then it is less than perfect!

Kabbalah appeared in ancient Babylon when the whole civilization was falling apart from the growing egoism. Kabbalah, represented by Abraham, pleaded with people to unite. And now, after our entire bitter history, Kabbalah is telling all of us the same thing again: “Unite, otherwise you’ll destroy yourselves!” And to this day, the religions are still preaching separation – and that is because they were produced by egoism. The religions appeared when the nation of Israel fell from love for one’s neighbor to hatred, from the spiritual level to the corporeal, egoistic one. That is when Judaism appeared, then Christianity, and then Islam.

Baal HaSulam writes that religions will remain as the cultural traditions of the nations. The religions will have to take their proper place and stop engaging in something that is beyond them – the soul and its correction. They don’t have a connection with the Light and the Creator in order to engage in this, and this is what we are witnessing today by the results of religion’s impact on people.

The period of the Light’s concealment from man is over, and hence the period of religious domination over people is also over. The Light is becoming revealed, and religion is becoming substituted by Kabbalah. Religion will then remain as a cultural tradition.

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The Book of Zohar. Chapter “The Second Commandment” (abridged)

198. The second Commandment is inseparably connected with the Commandment of fear, and it is the Commandment of love – for man to love his Creator with absolute (perfect) love. What is perfect love? It is a great love, as it is written, “He walks before the Creator in complete sincerity and perfection.” And this signifies perfection in love. Thus, it is written, “And the Creator said, ‘Let there be Light’” – this is perfect love, called “great love.” This is precisely how man should love his Creator.

200. Therefore, there is he who loves the Creator in order to gain riches, live a long life, have many healthy children, and rule over his enemies – he receives everything he wants, and this is why he loves the Creator. However, should he receive the opposite, should the Creator lead him through a wheel of suffering, he will come to hate the Creator, and will feel no love toward Him whatsoever. Therefore, such (egoistic) love lacks the necessary foundation (for spiritual adhesion).

201. Love is considered perfect if it exists on both sides – on the side of judgment (suffering) and the side of mercy (success in life). As we already mentioned, when one loves the Creator, even if He were to take away his soul, this love would remain perfect on both sides: mercy and judgment.

Therefore, the Light of the First Act of Creation was revealed and then concealed. And because of this concealment, strict judgment appeared in the world, and both sides, mercy and judgment, united to form perfection. And this is the desired love.

202. Rabbi Shimon kissed (united with) him. Rabbi Pinchas approached (his degree), kissed (united with) and blessed him. He said, “It is clear that the Creator has sent me here. This is the tiny ray of Light that was said to be shining in my house, and would later light up the whole world.” Rabbi Elazar said, “Certainly, fear must not be forgotten from all the Commandments; especially in this Commandment, the Commandment of love, fear must be attached to this Commandment at all times. How is it attached? Love is good when it brings goodness, health, sustenance, and life from the Beloved One. And it is here that fear of sinning must be revived, so that the wheel does not turn against him, as it is written, “Happy is the man who always fears,” for his fear is contained in his love.

203. This is how fear should be evoked from the perspective of strict judgment (restriction of egoism), for once man realizes that strict judgment hovers over him, he must evoke within him fear of his Master. Thus, his heart will not be hardened, of which it is written, “He that hardens his heart shall fall into evil,” into the other side (his egoism). This is called evil. Therefore, fear unites with both sides – with goodness and love, as well as with strict judgment, and consists of both. And if fear is united with the good side and love, as well as with the strictness of judgment, such a love is perfect.

Related Material:
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Questions I received on the connection between root and branch:

Question: I heard that there is no connection between spirituality and our personalities or physical qualities. On the other hand, there is a notion of root and branch, which says that every thing, object and quality in our world has a connection to its root. There seems to be a contradiction here. Doesn’t this mean that physical properties and personality are set according to spiritual roots?

My Answer: Of course there is a connection, and it’s direct: the root determines the result, such as one’s personality, habits, inclinations, and so on. However, the result does not undergo change because in our world it is impossible for any qualitative changes to occur. The only thing that’s always changing – even if we don’t realize it – is the soul, which strives toward the root and belongs to the Upper World.

Generally speaking, everything revolves around the soul. Because we don’t perceive the soul, we don’t understand the flow of life, since everything taking place has only one purpose – the soul’s correction.

Question: According to the law of root and branch, can a smaller one influence a bigger one, like in the example of the guest and the host?

My Answer: This is exactly what the Creator is waiting for us to do – to take control over the universe and thereby attain Him, become like Him, and reach adhesion with Him. Then there won’t be any difference between Him and us (by “us” I mean the common soul that’s absolutely united into one whole)!

During the process of correction, on the way to the final state (adulthood, Gadlut), we are like children, and all of the Creator’s actions revolve only around us – not us in the physical sense, but only our souls. We have to remember this, and if we wish to understand Him, we have to stop thinking about bodies (that is, about the excess things besides what’s necessary for the body to exist) and start identifying ourselves with the soul. We should perceive the body as temporary, something we were given during the period when we’re not fully corrected yet and are separated from the soul.

Question: Is there a spiritual root of good and evil? If yes, then what is it?

My Answer: The root of everything in existence is the one, unique Creator, the single force that governs everything. However, we perceive this force dually, depending on whether we are with it or against it.

For more on this, read the articles “Thou Hast Hemmed Me in Behind and Before,” “There Is None Else Besides Him,” the letter from page 70, and watch the lessons that I gave on these articles during the 2008 Odessa congress (see the Related Material below).

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The Book of Zohar. Chapter “The First Commandment” (abridged)

189. BERESHEET BARAH ELOKIM (In the beginning the Creator created) is the first commandment, the root and foundation of all creation, called “fear of the Creator” or RESHEET (beginning), as it is written: “Fear of the Creator is the beginning of wisdom.” It is also written, “Fear of the Creator is the beginning of knowledge,” for this fear is called “the beginning.” And it is the gate (the first property) that leads to faith (the property of bestowal). And this Mitzva (law of the universe) is the foundation of the whole world (all other laws are derived from it).

190. There are three types of fear, two of which have no real basis, but one does. If man fears that his children may die, or fears illness or bodily suffering, or fears for his material well-being, this kind of fear (even if constant) is not the basis or root, for only desirable consequences constitute the cause of fear. This is called “the fear of punishment in this world.” But there is also another type of fear: the fear of punishment in the world to come, in hell. These two types of fear – the fear of punishment in this world and in the world to come – do not constitute true fear.

191. The true fear is the fear of the Creator, for He is great and almighty, for He is the Source of everything, and all else is nothing compared to Him. Man should concentrate all his attention on attaining this kind of fear.

192. Rabbi Shimon started to weep, wailing, “Woe if I reveal and woe if I do not reveal: If I reveal the means of attaining fear, the sinners will know how to work for the Creator for their own sake (without exiting their egoism, and hence they won’t correct themselves). And if I do not say how to attain fear of the Creator, it will not reach my friends (those who do wish to exit their egoism). Wherever there is true fear (which allows one to act above one’s egoism, not for his own sake), opposite it and correspondingly below stands an evil fear, which strikes and prosecutes. It is the scourge that whips the sinners (punishing them for their sins. This is why he is afraid to reveal it, for the sinners may learn how to avoid punishment, and punishment constitutes their correction).

193. But he who fears the punishment by whippings, the true fear of the Creator cannot descend upon him. Instead, evil fear overtakes him in the form of fearing punishment by whipping.

194. Therefore, the place that is named “fear of the Creator” is called the beginning of knowledge. This is why this Commandment is included here. And it is the foundation and source of all the other Commandments of the Torah. And whoever observes the Commandment of fear of the Creator, thereby observes all the others. But he who does not observe the Commandment of fear of the Creator, does not observe the other Commandments of the Torah, for this Commandment constitutes the foundation for all the others.

195. Therefore, it is written, “IN THE BEGINNING” (signifying fear) THE CREATOR CREATED THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH. For whoever transgresses FEAR, transgresses all of the Torah’s Commandments (laws of the Upper World, which are based upon bestowal). And his punishment is the evil scourge – the evil fear that whips him. Further in the Torah, the words, “AND THE EARTH WAS UNFORMED AND CHAOTIC, AND DARKNESS WAS UPON THE FACE OF THE DEEP, AND THE SPIRIT OF THE CREATOR” refer to the four punishments of the wicked.

196. WITHOUT FORM refers to strangulation. CHAOTIC refers to stoning – the stones that fall into the great deep to punish the sinners. DARKNESS signifies burning. THE SPIRIT OF THE CREATOR refers to beheading.

197. The spirit of the Creator means beheading, for the scorching wind (Ruach Se’ara) is a flaming sword – punishment for whoever does not observe the Torah and Commandments that are mentioned after the Commandment of fear, called “foundation,” as it includes all the Commandments. This is because after the word BERESHEET (BEGINNING), which signifies fear, and further it is written WITHOUT FORM, CHAOS, DARKNESS and SPIRIT – the four penalties of death.

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A question I received: Baal HaSulam writes in his article “The Last Generation” that altruistic deeds will lead to a better society only if they are made “for the sake of the Creator.” Please give an example of an altruistic deed and explain how one must aim his thoughts, or what image one must have in mind, in order for his deeds and intentions to be for the sake of the Creator. Your explanation will be important for work I am doing with a group of children.

My Answer: In order to really attain the intention of bestowal, of “not for oneself,” to come out of ourselves and have goals that serve others, we need a field in which to work, a place and model that we can use for correcting ourselves. We have to become similar to the Creator even though He is concealed from us. That is to say, the Creator cannot be that model because He is concealed from us. However, He broke the only creation He made, the soul, into many pieces – particular souls. Within each of these parts, He created a perception of self, its “I,” and of others opposite to it. This is our egoism.

When we unite, and when each of us fights his own egoism within, we will then be able to see whether we are attaining spirituality – the quality of mutual bestowal and love. Then we will discover that we cannot attain it and will turn to the Creator. We will discover Him and His readiness to correct our desires, provided that we are mutually responsible for one another and support each other in this regard – and if we turn to him precisely through this force of “Mutual Guarantee.”

Baal HaSulam writes that in our times, this is the necessary condition for entering the Upper World or the quality of bestowal. Hence, all altruistic deeds can only take place inside the group or virtual society, among friends who desire to attain mutual aspiration and support – the mutual guarantee.

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A question I received: I hear a lot of talk in the mass media about large scale charity projects aiming to help terminally ill children. There are entire sites being created just to help one person who’s dying from a rare disease. I also see that there’s a big response to this from society. Meanwhile there are hundreds of people dying every day from hunger and AIDS in Africa, but this does not bother anyone at all. I’d say that this is one big imbalance.

Is there any way we can make the world understand that all the “charity” only slows down the general development and creates an illusion that we are acting altruistically?

My Answer: We can only explain the positive things that Kabbalah gives to the world and what it adds to people’s lives. However, we can’t criticize any actions people make, especially “charitable” actions, because then we will only evoke their hatred and greater misunderstanding. People will see for themselves that charity doesn’t really help and that temporary relief is misleading and only causes bigger problems later on.

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