A question I received: Dear Rav Laitman, could you please explain how does Kabbalah treat marriage and differences in perception between husband and wife? Kabbalah has already explained a great deal to me. Does Kabbalah treat a relationship between husband and wife as a sacred one or is it up to one`s desire to decide whether to follow the path? Thank you for helping us to understand what was considered “a secret.”

My Answer: “Sacred” is the quality of bestowal, which we acquire under the influence of the Light of Correction (Ohr Makif), when we correctly study Kabbalah (the books of Baal HaSulam). There is no other sacredness! It’s written: “There is no coercion in spirituality.” In corporeality, coercion originates from egoism. But it cannot exist in the spiritual world and in spiritual actions.

Every person has his own path and his own time to come to the Creator, and therefore you don’t have the right to force anyone to do this, including your husband and children. You can only tell them about it without pressuring them, “by the way,” gently, without threatening them, and evoking love for this topic in them. And no matter what the result, you should continue with your family life just like before.

Uniting with everyone who aspires toward the Creator will give you the strength and the desire to attain Him. You should view your relatives as bodies that are related to you, and as souls that are foreign to you.

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Questions I received about the Creator

Question: What is the Creator? Does He have desires and feelings?

My Answer: The Creator is the general force of Nature that incorporates everything. His quality is bestowal (love). This is His only force. From His quality of loving and bestowing, He created creation in the quality “to receive” – to receive what He desires to give it. But even though He created creation in the will to receive, He is leading it to acquire the quality of bestowal, to His state, which is boundless, unique, and perfect.

Question: In the article “The Revelation of Godliness (Matan Torah)” Baal HaSulam writes that the first condition is that “No one acts without a purpose,” and “There is a Creator in the world who created everything with a purpose.” What does “the first condition” mean?

My Answer: The first condition is the basic law of nature.

Question (continued): Do I have to accept this as a fact, even though I don’t have the notion that the Creator is real?

My Answer: You should accept it in order to test it on yourself, to reveal the Creator within you, within the property of bestowal you will acquire. It’s just like a scientist who receives news about someone else’s discovery – he accepts it and then tests whether it is correct. If a person attains the revelation of the Creator’s actions, then to the degree he reveals this, he justifies Him and hence he himself is then called “righteous.” That is to say, in Kabbalah one tests everything in practice, and every person does this within himself!

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Three questions I received on requesting from the Creator

Question: Does one pray to G-d or to the Creator? You have said that it’s written that the Creator hears no prayer other than to be able to bestow, because He is the quality of bestowal and this is the only thing you can ask of Him. And what about the “kibbutsnikim” in the Negev?

My Answer: Back then the desires of the “kibbutsnikim” and the Creator were the same. But in general, the Creator hears everything and everyone, but He reacts only to that which leads to the goal, to Him, to adhesion with Him. And He definitely hears and reacts to one’s requests for correction, for equivalence with Him. The Creator is a system of forces surrounding us. The Creator (Elokim) = Nature (HaTeva). We need to understand that He does not change His goal and action – at every single moment, everything is directed at reacting to our actions, in order to influence each and every person in such a way that they will be directed precisely toward the goal. This is how the Creator – this system of forces – reacts to our desires, thoughts, and actions. This is why Kabbalah says that He does not change. In other words, He does not change His influence on us, which directs us precisely to the goal.

Question: About the “kibbutsnikim” who asked for rain: How is it possible that they received something just by asking for it? I’ve asked for things a thousand times, and the most I received was a reason to regret the fact that I asked.

My Answer: Their requests did not contradict the Creator’s plans to have people settle in these lands. They were (egoistically) united with each other as one whole. They asked for the necessity and gave it everything they had. And it worked temporarily. But when they lost the desire to be united, they became opposite to the system of governing forces, and the Upper Forces evoked their disintegration.

Question: As I understand, a prayer is a person’s deepest and most real desire. So why is there is a custom to pray at certain times rather than when one feels like it? After all, one receives a response only to a real prayer. And what does prayer give a person, in principle?

My Answer: Religion does not deal with correcting the soul – changing one’s intention from “for the sake of oneself” to “for the sake of others and the Creator” in all of one’s actions, but rather it only trains one to make physical actions – the commandments of our world. Therefore, in religion to pray is to read at specific times something that was written for you by other people (by the sages of the Great Assembly, 2,000 years ago). One does not receive a response to such actions, and we see that religious people do not become corrected, but vice versa – as time goes by, their moral descent is becoming more and more apparent. However, such mechanical actions hold people within certain boundaries, and as such, during the period of the Creator’s concealment (from 0 until the 20th century), the religions had the role of providing life’s boundaries. This was established by Kabbalists, to last until our time, when “the point in the heart” surfaces in people and they begin the path of individual spiritual development.

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A question I received: You say that Kabbalah is a science. That’s fair. The two forces of nature, bestowal and receiving. All of nature is nothing but bestowal, and man is the only element in nature that disrupts the balance, he creates disbalance, and this is why we suffer.

Everything is fine until we get to this point. But finally, when we get to the point where we need to fix the balance, you say: Ohr Makif. Hmm… Some light comes out of nowhere and corrects me. And what confuses me the most is that this light comes from a book. Could you please explain or define what “light” is in a practical and clear manner? I thought that Kabbalah was a science about forces, nature, desires, etc. In my perception Upper Light is not a scientific term and directly refers to something esoteric. Maybe you could make this notion more reasonable and comprehensible? What is this force that corrects us? Is this the force of bestowal? Then why is it called Ohr Makif? How can this “light” able to help prevent suffering on our path of development? Is it in any way related to the corporeal light?

My Answer: If I were you with your love for sciences, I would study “Preface to the Wisdom of Kabbalah” (Pticha) or maybe I would even start studying Talmud Eser Sefirot! These texts explain several spiritual notions in a scientific language: 1. desire, 2. correction of intention from “for one’s own sake” to “for the sake of the Creator,” 3. fulfillment by the Light, pleasure, the Creator, to the extent of the corrected intention. There is nothing else in Kabbalah.

Ohr Makif is a force that influences us from a more corrected state, which we aspire toward. It responds to your aspiration in the following way: it pulls you to a higher, more altruistic state to the same extent you aspire for it. This is an interaction of two vectors of desires. The same mutual influence of forces also exists in our world, when a person aspires for any new thing. The difference is that when it comes to spiritual aspiration, this force that pulls you to a new state is referred to as Light, because it doesn’t just pull you through its influence upon you, but it also changes you, making you become like the new state, one that is spiritual and altruistic. The difference between this force of Light, and the force that pulls you toward a new state in our world is that, the force in our world doesn’t need to change you to pull you to something. Check it out for yourself to eliminate any doubts.

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Two questions I received on this perfect system we live in:

Question: How is it possible that we perform actions that don’t exist in the Creator? That is to say, He doesn’t have to change His nature, but we do. Is this like sacrificing oneself for one’s new “I,” which is real and perfect?”

My Answer: I will slightly correct you: We were created perfect by the Creator, and as a consequence, we don’t perceive this perfection. Hence, He took us out of that state and put us in the opposite state, so we would find the best state on our own – and become convinced that this is exactly what He gave us from the beginning.

Question: I recently began studying Kabbalah, and have reached the conclusion that the diversity or “division” of human (corporeal) desires begets the retardation or as you have said, “the feeling of a dead end” in the development of science, technology, and humanity in general. Is this really so? Have I reached the right conclusion?

My Answer: Obviously, the more harmoniously this single organism of Nature works (in which only man adds disorder, because only he has the freedom of action), the higher is our state, until we reach the point where we perceive the world’s harmony. This is perceived on spiritual levels, degrees of unity with the Creator, the general force of Nature, to the degree that we are equal to him through bestowal and love.

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A question I received: It’s been around the news lately, that in Ethiopia, in the city of Aksum, archeologists have found the palace of Queen Sheba. Inside, the researchers found an altar and Judaism’s most valuable treasure – the Arc of the Covenant. According to legend, the Arc contained Moses’s stone tablets with the Ten Commandments, and it was brought to Ethiopia by Menelik – the son of Queen Sheba and King Solomon. The scientists believe that Menelik changed his faith and began worshiping Sirius, but he kept the Arc – a chest made of acacia and covered with gold plates. ITAR-TASS notes that there were evident traces of calf sacrifices around the Arc.” In your opinion, could this be true, or is it just another piece of gossip?

My Answer: I don’t know whether it’s true and I don’t care. With the fall of the Second Temple, when people fell from “love thy neighbor” to “unfounded hatred,” holiness left Israel, as well as all of the Temple’s paraphernalia, because it’s the people who make these objects holy, and not the objects themselves. Rather than striving for material objects, which don’t contain any spirituality, we should strive to obtain the property of bestowal and love for all people, since this is holiness and the property of the Creator. However, as it seems, we are willing to do everything but this!

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Questions I received on a scientific experiment that aims to reproduce the formation of creation: This week I saw an interview with a scientist specializing in quantum physics who talked about a project that he and seventy other scientists from around the world are planning. Next month, they want to reproduce the entire formation of creation with the aim of finding some missing photon. For this purpose they have constructed a 27km long tunnel between Switzerland and France, as well as various tools. The interesting thing was that at the end of the interview, this scientist said that they will succeed only if God so wishes, and if He doesn’t, then they won’t! My questions in relation to this are as follows:

Question: Will this affect the world, climate, pollution, and so on?

My Answer: No. Only our thoughts and desires have an effect on these.

Question: How can a scientist rely on God?

My Answer: Who else should a scientist rely on at a time when science is already showing itself to be the science of its own end?

Question: What do you think they’ll discover?

My Answer: Even if they were to discover the “missing photon,” they would discover thousands more questions behind it, and this would continue forever, because the second part to the world is the upper part, and it’s hidden from them. Moreover, the barrier separating them from it is a spiritual barrier, and this is why it cannot be penetrated with a physical accelerator. One needs spiritual preparation in order to do this, to ascend over one’s egoism with the property of bestowal and love for one’s neighbor. The scientists want to attain the forces controlling our world, and they’ll continue the way they are until they come to understand and feel, as a result of their experiments, that they need to change themselves – the observer.

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Two questions I received on Kabbalah and religion:

Question: I converted to Judaism five years ago, after an entire lifetime of studying and searching. Over the past several years I have been very devoted to Torah and its pardes. Now I have a dangerous question as a consequence of your lessons. When Bore Olam says: “my thoughts are not your thoughts,” and a sage says that the Torah is Bore Olam’s wisdom (that is His thoughts), does it mean that those Jews who observed Judaism over the last several thousand years understood everything incorrectly, and in reality, my search brought me to the wrong place?

My Answer: Without a doubt, you’re not in a perfect situation, and your place, just like everyone else’s place, is in the union with the Creator. If you search for this place, you’ll find Him.

Question: Were such great Kabbalists as Rav Baruch Ashlag, Moshe Cordovero, and others religious? And why do you wear a skullcap?

My Answer: It is not a question of faith. When Kabbalah refers to faith, it speaks of the perception of the Creator, the property of Bina, bestowal, which becomes revealed in us through the study of Kabbalah. I respect religious observances because they are my people’s cultural traditions. I understand that by observing them, I am not correcting my soul in any way, and that I observe only the framework within which my people lived over the entire course of history. Religious observances are not required in the study of Kabbalah.

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Lesson: The Difference Between Kabbalah and Religion [01:51:45]
Lesson: The Difference Between Kabbalah and Religion (Transcript)

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Two questions I received on one’s friends and group in the spiritual path:

Question: Should a person be wary even of his friends on the spiritual path? That is to say, it’s possible that even in the group where you study, not everyone is following the true path. And in general, can one deviate from the true path while being in a group?

My Answer: Once you decide to be a part of the group, you must see your friends in the group as great and infallible. Otherwise, how would you be able to receive the realization of the greatness of the goal and your own weakness? If you follow Rabash’s recommendations on the group (ed. see the related material below), you can be certain that you will reach the goal.

Question: One receives the fuel to progress along the spiritual path from one’s environment (the group). So if a person has a lot of money, can he hire people who don’t have a point in the heart to advertise the importance of bestowal, love for the neighbor, and the importance of attaining adhesion with the Creator through loving one’s neighbor?

My Answer: Yes. For example, one can hire musicians to inspire him with Baal HaSulam’s music. Or he can hire a large group of people who will act out a corrected society for him. However, such an act can only be used to rise out of a descent. When it comes to the quality of bestowal, one can adapt it only among people similar to him, as it is written: “Love thy neighbor as thyself,” where your neighbor is someone who is close to you according to your desires and goal.

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A question I received: I take my hat off to you Professor! You’re the most out-of-the-ordinary individual. A while ago, I already understood that it’s impossible to predict your answers, but never did I expect to hear Kabbalistic rap… Professor, I admit that you are an unsurpassable genius. Can you reveal your secret to your eternal youth and lively spirits? How do you manage to do it?

My Answer: It’s very simple Watson! The fact is that Kabbalah deals with, or one who studies Kabbalah deals with, the soul. And this is the only organ we have that doesn’t age or die. The more you engage in it, the younger you become. And this happens to such an extent that you even start feeling a little uneasy: you look and act like a kid while everyone around you is so important, full of Torah, solid individuals who are carrying the weight of the commandments… You, however, remain as a child, as it is written, “It’s better to be a smart and weak boy than an old and powerful king” (Tov Yeled Mizken ve Hacham mi Melech Zaken uKsil). It means that the love and bestowal born in a person from his entrance to spirituality are still weak, but they’re better than the old, powerful egoism that kills itself.

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