Let us shed light on several questions related to the notion of “love of friends”:

1. What ground is there for the need to attain love of friends?
2. Should I choose the friends, and should they choose me?
3. Should each friend openly express his feelings toward the other group members, or is it enough for him to feel love for them in his heart, without expressing this feeling externally? Should he remain modest and not boast about his achievement?

Certainly, every person should openly express the love of friends that is in his heart because open expression of this feeling can awaken the friends’ hearts to the same. As a result, the friends’ feelings will unite into a common feeling, which will be much greater than their arithmetic sum.

Thus, every member of the group will receive a strong feeling of love of friends and will also sense a need to expand this feeling. On the other hand, if the group members do not express their feelings openly, they cannot be imbued with the common, collective force and overcome their personal egoism.

In this case, it is very difficult to view the friend in a positive light. Every person thinks that he is the only righteous one and that only he loves his friends, while they do not reciprocate his feelings.

It turns out that a person’s forces are too weak to be able to attain love for his friend and to express his feelings explicitly instead of hiding them.

One must constantly remind oneself of the purpose of the group’s existence since otherwise, one’s egoism will try to blur this goal because its sole concern at all times is its own benefit.

A person needs the group in order to attain the quality of being engrossed in the thought of delighting his friends without requiring anything in return, and not in order for the group to help fulfill his egoistic desires. After all, if every group member expects only to receive help from others, the group is founded on egoism and works only to increase it. In this case, a person sees the group only as a means to satisfy his egoistic needs.

Therefore, we must keep in mind that the group must be built upon love for the neighbor. What every group member must receive from the group is love for the neighbor and hatred for his own egoism. When a person sees that his friend tries to suppress his egoism, this gives him additional forces to fight his own egoism. Then all of the friends’ intentions merge into one whole. Thus, if the group consists of ten members, each of them will receive the forces of all ten friends who suppress their egoism and aspire toward love for the neighbor.

But if the group members do not express their feelings toward one another due to their feigned modesty, then their feelings do not grow stronger and each of them gradually loses the desire to progress towards love for the neighbor and regresses back to self-love.
(Based on Rabash’s article “Love of Friends (2))
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Question: You constantly speak about the family, but today the notion of family has changed completely and is gradually disappearing. What makes you think that we can return to the old family model?

Answer: I am absolutely convinced that after experiencing an enormous crisis, we will return to the old family model. The modern egoistic family will really cease to exist.

The birth of a new family will happen due to our movement toward the goal, the root. We will see that the only way for us to reach it is by being absolutely connected with others on all levels of existence, with the partner in the family, with children, and through one’s own family, to other families, society, and the world. In other words, we will return to the model of a regular family that will allow a person to reveal the Creator above our animal, corporeal existence.

We will not be ashamed of being little animals in a family because a special relationship called “real love” appears between a husband and a wife in addition to the animal attraction. It is a relationship where they reveal the Creator between them and really attain the higher goal.

People will create families for the sake of this higher goal and establish a physical and spiritual connection with their partner. In this way, the family will be reborn, both on the spiritual and physical levels. However, it will be mainly on the spiritual level and from there, on the physical level.
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From a “Talk on Integral Education” #12, 12/16/11  

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Question: There are certain states or circumstances where a person doesn’t get a chance to sleep. Does this matter? Is it worthwhile to take a thirty minute nap?

Answer: This depends on the person. However, if a person is working hard on himself, then I would recommend taking a break in the middle of the day to rest. I would also recommend practicing a specific technique that teaches a person to sleep for about fifteen or twenty minutes and feel really well rested.

This is necessary in our work because we are in a constant state of inner concentration toward ascending, uniting, and we apply efforts beyond the typical mental and emotional efforts. Therefore, we must rest. It’s more important to rest during the day than to get a full night’s sleep.
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From a “Talk on Integral Education” #12, 12/16/11 

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Question: In case it transpires that some people in the group of integral upbringing have psychological disorders, how do we interact with them?

Answer: We mark them out immediately and try to understand the extent to which they can conduct themselves in a general framework and the extent to which work on themselves can negatively affect their psyche. In that case, we will remove them from the group, gently and carefully, for some period of time or permanently.

We have psychiatrists who can give their conclusion after observing the person from aside for some time and using references from their friends and close ones. Undoubtedly, if a person with a damaged mentality stays in a group for a long period of time, it may give a negative result, a surge of very bad energy.

However, we rarely come across such problems; there are very few of such people. As a rule, they become balanced somehow.

We remove them for some time and then we give them the opportunity to return. Then, we remove them again, and they come back again. This happens a number of times. They cannot advance at the same rate as the group. That is why it is beneficial for them to be distanced a little bit. However, in general, most of them find some strength to compensate.

Question: People today often encounter deep depressive states, not simply a bad mood, but the deepest depression requiring anti-depressants, hospitals, and so on. If we come across such occurrences, do we recommend that the person go to the doctor, or do we try to correct it through the integral system?

Answer: In clinical cases, only a complete change in environment can help, where you take the person together with a particular group to nature, to the beach, or the river, and there you begin to carry out very serious sessions with him plus a lot of sports in the fresh air.
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From a “Talk on Integral Education” #11, 12/16/11 

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A person in our world is similar to a person who has lost his way in a field. In our time, all of humanity can also be likened to a great mass of people who, having lost all reference points, are wandering around the enormous field of life in the dark.

The way out of this situation, which arose as a result of our egoistic development, lies in creating an integral society. That is, it lies in searching for people who have realized that the current situation is at an impasse and that the only solution is to establish an integral connection between people.

In this case, the field of life transforms from a wild, empty field to a blessed field of life because the people in it desire to work on their egoism to attain the quality of mutual bestowal and thus, to become equivalent to Nature. In this case, their path is called “the path of bestowal.”

Because our egoistic nature is completely contradictory to this path, there is just one way to set out on this path: to be in an integral upbringing group that works on developing “love of friends” and where every person can help his friend progress precisely down this path.
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(On the basis of Rabash’s article “Love of Friends”) 

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As man undergoes evolution, all of his development occurs by way of the development of the will to receive pleasure, called self-love or egoism. Therefore, if a person does not feel that he will receive something, he is incapable of making even the smallest action. He feels it within as a lack of motivation or energy, necessary for him to make an inner or physical movement.

But Nature is the quality of altruism, bestowal and love, opposite to egoism. And it drives man to acquire this quality by developing him in ever-greater suffering, which he gradually comes to see as a derivative of his own egoism and the overall egoism of all mankind. In other words, the objective that Nature sets for our development is for man to attain equivalence with it. And this objective is intended expressly for man because egoism is absent on the still, vegetative, and animate levels of nature, which are governed and exist instinctively, simply obeying their nature.

Since suppressing egoism is contradictory to our nature and our entire being, we therefore need a group of single-minded people to give us a greater force to suppress it. That is why we need a group that unites people who have one desire: to achieve an ascent above egoism and mutual repulsion, and to rise to mutual love.

The result of uniting towards a common goal is that instead of being totally weak and unable to resist our egoism, each of us acquires a great force that helps him rise above his egoism to unity.

This great force emerges as a result of us putting together our small, individual forces, or rather, not even forces, but just wishes. These small forces of ours will combine together and multiply one another, allowing each of us to rise above his small egoism to unity. That is how every person acquires a tremendous desire to rise above his own egoism and attain a single goal.

But in order for this to happen, every group member has to suppress or lower his “I” in relation to others. This can only be done by not noticing the friend’s flaws and paying attention only to his good qualities. If one member of the group considers himself at least slightly better than others, he is no longer able to truly unite with them.

During the group’s engagement in integral upbringing (unification), we must be serious and not deviate from the goal for which we have gathered here, the achievement of a single desire of mutual bestowal and love, as similarity to Nature demands of us.

But with outsiders, we should behave simply, courteously, and politely, taking care not to impose the idea of unity, mutual bestowal, and love upon them. This is because efforts to rise above one’s egoism cannot be made in chance meetings, but only in a constant group of friends under the guidance of an instructor. During their work in the group and generally, in life, members of the group must try to bar light-mindedness from their desires because thoughtless behavior or even thoughts destroy all personal and group efforts to unite.

But if an outsider has accidentally found his way into a session held by the group, it is first necessary to politely eliminate his presence and to continue the studies only after that.
(Based on Rabash’s article “Purpose of Society (2)”  
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Since the wisdom of Kabbalah raises a person from the “beastly” to the “human” level (“Adam” or “man” comes from the word “Domeh” or similar to nature, to the attribute of bestowal and love), a person who rises faces the problem of “going into the unknown.” To help us rise into an unknown state again and again, we are offered a game, an exercise, to prepare within ourselves, together with the group, our next, more altruistic state. Moreover, even if we fail, it leads to the right solution: a request for the force of bestowal, an ascent above our egoism.

Today all of humanity should master this method of advancement in everything that it does. We should also be ready for descents, for feeling the mistakes, and from them to understand that only the upper force of nature can provide us with the new attributes in order to investigate, to attain, and to build ourselves, family, society, education, and economy correctly.

Until now the mistakes and failures were not acknowledged by people, but only by Kabbalists because only they rose above the general nature of humanity, egoism, to the attribute of nature, love. But today we must acquire this new attitude regarding ourselves, those around us, and the world and to teach our children to develop by learning from their mistakes.

We must not only learn from our mistakes, but also understand where they stem from: from the appearance of the new level to which we are not adapted. So a mistake (a descent) is the attainment of our lack of correspondence to the new state, and it should make us yearn to implement it internally. This is attained in the group, by yearning for nature’s general force and for similarity to it.
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Question: What is Europe’s role in the correction of the world?

Answer: Europe has a very important role in the correction of the world. I am very happy with the news about the growing integration in Europe. Just recently there were talks about disintegrating the EU and about throwing Greece and other countries out. But today it turns out that it is impossible to separate. The Europeans examined the situation and discovered that the disintegration of the Union would lead to total collapse.

So they are already speaking about building Europe similarly to the US, with a federal government for all. And all this is happening in Europe where nations dislike each other even today.

This is how the upper Light conveys the idea of integration to us, and although they are not too thrilled about it, they are making a new plan from hopelessness. I have been writing about this in my blog for several years, and now the unification of Europe may actually be realized.

Now that they have taken this new direction, we will see what the trend will be, to what extent they will advance, and what changes it will bring about. The Europeans still need an integral education system, of course, but we may be able to offer it to them because they are already prepared for that in a way. Otherwise, how will they manage to unite in the background of all internal conflicts?

One way or the other, it is a very important change of direction.

Question: How is it possible to hasten the integral upbringing? After all, it takes a long time.

Answer: Ordinary education takes a long time, but not integral upbringing. After all, it is realized in large groups of people who suffer and who immediately receive support from nature. It is enough to perform minor actions towards connection and the corresponding upbringing, and by that you will already be more balanced with nature, at least by one or two percent. In response to that you will certainly begin to feel positive changes.

The moment the process reaches the masses, it will immediately ease the feeling of crisis. After all, the “crisis” is the lack of the connection that we should have reached. This is what creates the negative feeling in the current situation. Therefore, the moment you take the first steps towards connection, the crisis will stop.

Then everything will work out. You will understand how to divide the resources and the services. Crime rates will decrease, people’s health will improve, suddenly you will discover new financial resources, and so on.

So it isn’t only about integral upbringing. After all, because of its lack a person spends great sums of money in order to satisfy his or her needs.
[72695]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/14/2012, Writing of Rabash

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Question: In the process of any activity there are criteria of work effectiveness. It’s very important for people to understand whether they are doing their job well or not, in order to increase its quality accordingly, to add efforts, and so on. What can the criteria of effectiveness be in integral groups so that a person aspires to carry out his activities better?

Answer: We have a very serious self-evaluation system for this. Because you are constantly in a small society, you can always control yourself within it: How congruently connected to it you are, how closely you interact with it, how much it influences you, whether you place yourself under its influence, how much you can influence it, how much you can lower yourself relative to it, and how much you can feel yourself to be the voice of decision making in order to influence the society.

It means that all of these criteria are the environment and I: I am above it in order to positively influence it; I am below it in order to receive positive influence. And it’s the same for the environment relative to me: It influences me from above, and it wants to receive from me my share of participation in it from below.

There are very simple, direct methods of evaluating one’s states. A person can say where he is practically every second.
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From a “Talk on Integral Education” #11, 12/16/11

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Question: At school, the teacher usually asks a question and a student answers. You have a completely different approach: You ask questions very rarely and, as a rule, wait to be asked questions. Why?

Answer: This is because I basically crave, aspire for my explanation to evoke in a student emptiness, empty places, meaning questions in order to know, to learn. A correct explanation does not “shut him up,” does not give him fulfillment. It reveals a little bit of what I am explaining and then a student suddenly runs into: “But why is it so? What if it’s not so, but different?”

It’s as if I instill into my explanations my questions, the opportunity to ask, and perplexity brought about by them, and I do it in advance. I want them to find defects in my explanations. This will help them grasp my explanation, understand it better, and to absorb it. This is very important.

That’s why if I am explaining and everything is clear to everybody, and there are no questions, I consider that I haven’t explained anything at all. I feel very bad then. When there are many questions—“this is not so, not from here, not like this”—then this is the material that will be absorbed for sure.

Comment: A question though, is not always a question….

Answer: Turn it around, do what you think is necessary so that the audience will learn from it. A lot of people ask, but they don’t know how to formulate the question exactly. We understand that the teacher must help the student here and to feel him or her.

I believe that if I transmit the information in 15-20 minutes, and then questions take up twice as much time, then this is a lesson truly absorbed. This is very important. It’s as if you are throwing them bait, and they swallow and clutch at it. With the help of this bait, they necessarily must approach you, hold on to you. It’s because the question and answer or an explanation begins with the fact that you have something and they don’t. You are trying to pass on to them what you have at the given moment decided to pass on.

The transfer has to consist of you giving them the information, and them, in response, asking any kind of questions from the entirety of the material that they have heard (only heard!) in order for them to experience, master, and completely absorb it inside. And this is only being reached with the help of questions, questions of various kinds, and from various kinds of people.

Question: What is the characteristic of an answer with which I shut off the interest of a person?

Answer: I never do this. I try to give an answer in which I purposely touch upon another, some kind of a crafty aspect. The student immediately has a reaction here: “Really? And how does this work?” This means that the answer leads him to other questions.

I want for the entire material, which I gave them during the first 15 minutes, to later be penetrated with questions from all sides. Then it will stay in them. I help them with my answers to ask a new question. The correct answer carries the next question in itself, and a correct question is already half the answer.
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From a “Talk on Integral Education” #11, 12/16/11

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