On the spiritual path, we are faced with a question: What do we do with our inborn properties? One has a good character: He is thoughtful, intelligent, isn’t stubborn and agrees when it’s worthwhile, quickly engages in the group, draws the Light, and moves forth. And another hates everyone, doesn’t want to do anything, procrastinates, and, in short, acts like a bad boy. But is it really his fault that he was made this way?

What should he do then? There are all kinds of folks: simple minded and quick witted, unlucky and gifted, fast and slow paced, arrogant, ambitious, and so on. Characteristics are many, and everyone has their own combination. The Creator endowed me with a specific package of properties, and I have no power over it. It wasn’t up to me; I didn’t get to pick the list.

Where is my free will then? Where is equality on the spiritual path? Where is the degree of choice we all share? Where is the chance that everyone is supposed to have? Not only are we all different, but also, fate is good toward some and harsh to others. At times, people have to face problems we wouldn’t wish our enemies.

However, free will is supposed to initially be founded on equal opportunities, isn’t it? Where is this equal chance at the starting line and further on the path? We don’t have it all the same.

In response to this, Baal HaSulam explains why the created being is supposed to develop in this specific way. The truth is that we originate from the final, perfect state of existence. It is said: “The end of an action is in its initial thought.” It is as if the Creator is saying: “I wish to see everybody in this specific state.” He initially created this final condition, in which we exist in all our glory and perfection.

How can we come to it voluntarily? For this, from the final perfection, there expands a reverse path back to us, into this world. Let us see many “defects” and “faults,” let us all be different, let us have individual destinies and combinations of qualities—it all is rooted and “sprawled” from the final, complete state.

One may wonder: Why has the situation been arranged the way it has? Why am I not Prince William whose wedding is watched by the whole world? And after all, why did the perfect state give rise to such imperfect, distorted states with numberless flaws?

Baal HaSulam answers these and all other questions in his article “The Freedom.”
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/29/2011, “The Freedom”

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There are two paths: a long and a short one, the path of suffering and the path of the Torah. In fact, on the path of suffering I don’t move ahead. However, each time I stand idle, suffering puts me through blows and returns me to the path of the Torah.

By the same token, a child who doesn’t care to study finds himself “under the blows of fate”: He isn’t allowed to play outside until he completes his homework and he stays in the same grade to repeat a year. Having suffered for some time, he feels the need to sit down with the books. Frankly, today’s parents don’t have what it takes, but the Creator does have the power and the means. He forces us to do our homework and keep moving toward the goal.

Thus, the purpose of suffering is to direct us toward the path of the Torah since correction occurs solely by virtue of the Light that Reforms. Yet, in the course of events, insofar as I don’t wish to turn to the Torah, I am bombarded by blows, and they force me do so.

After all, I am but the desire to enjoy. All it takes is to lock me away from “toys,” deprive me of pleasures, sting me with suffering, and I, like a little darling, am willing to do whatever it takes. What can we do if we are small and weak and have only one solution: to draw upon ourselves the Light that Reforms.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/29/2011, “The Freedom”

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Writings of Baal HaSulam, Letter 19: A person is not ready for adhesion with the Creator all at once, but gradually, as it is written, “Goodness and mercy shall follow me.” That is why he creates yearnings, which are the beginning of adhesion, as it is written, “a righteous who suffers.” He suffers because the Creator does not desire adhesion with him. That is why the person feels yearning and sorrow without love, which is necessary for adhesion. He feels suffering which will turn into the delight of adhesion.

Question: How can we aspire to a connection with the Creator in states of suffering that He sends us?

Answer: The Creator does not send us suffering. Only goodness comes from Him, but in my egoism, I feel His kind attitude in the opposite way, meaning that I experience suffering. But this is exactly the “awakening” that is necessary for attaining the goal, for changing my egoism to bestowal. Then suffering turns into pleasure.

Nothing changes besides my attitude to the world, as it is written, “You will eat what is old.” You have changed yourself and your attitude to what happens. You have ascended above your will to enjoy, and therefore, instead of suffering you experience pleasure.

You used to aspire to imaginary sources of fulfillment, but now your aspiration for the Creator, your sorrow and suffering turn into fulfillment because you don’t want anything but this. You only want to desire Him, and this already fulfills you.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/1/11, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Ultimately, there is only one action that is up to us and with the help of which we can express our desire. All other actions don’t work.

Let’s say I am consumed by the burning desire to do or change something, to better my life. There are thousands of switches in front of me on the wall. I keep pushing the buttons hoping to see some changes, I try to understand whether I switched something on, while losing track of the sequence and getting lost in the location of the buttons….

So it is in our life: We get disoriented by numerous “buttons” that we barely have time to press. “Relax,” Kabbalists advise. “This way, you won’t succeed. There is only one button you need to push to feel good. If you push any other, you will feel bad.”

Why are they there then? They are needed so that while we are making vain attempts, we would smarten up and find the right button. This path is regarded as “the path of suffering.”

But there is another path, “the path of the Torah,” where a person receives instructions: “Don’t touch any other buttons on the wall for it’s going to make things worse. After all, you think they work and expect good results. The time is passing by, while you keep vesting your hopes and aspiration not in the Creator, not in the only working force in reality. In other words, you are serving idols. Besides, having the same expectations, you are increasingly lagging behind the preset pace of correction. As a result, each incorrect push of the button and a halt that follows it lead toward negative consequences.”

What is the solution then? We need to find the right button as fast as possible. In the article “The Freedom” Baal HaSulam explains to us how it’s done. If you keep returning to the same button, pressing it deeper and deeper, you do get to open the source of abundance, which corrects and fulfills you with all the good there is.

This is the only button that turns the whole system on, while all the others are not connected to anything. By pressing them, you only bother yourself, instead of engaging the only mechanism you have available. Just as well, inaction naturally brings you trouble. The cogwheels of reality continue to spin, and if you do not contribute the positive to it, the system automatically slides down to the negative.

This is why it is necessary to find the right button among all others and train yourself to press only it, making no errors. This is what constitutes our work. Who doesn’t seek luck? This is what “luck” is all about.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/29/2011, “The Freedom”

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The Creator is the authentic acting force in reality. On our path we attain the Creator, His plan, His work, and thereby become “the Creator’s workers,” meaning that we participate in this work ourselves as His partners.

For this to happen His mind needs to be revealed to us. After all, in the end we rise to the highest degree of the entire creation, to its program and the purpose that forestalls it.

“The end of an action is in its initial thought.” We reach the point in the Creator’s mind from which He started the work in which He thought of creation. Everything originates from this tiny point; it is the acting, creating mind which we acquire.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/28/2011, “The Acting Mind”

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Question: What is the difference between a desire (Hissaron) and an aspiration (Ishtokekut)?

Answer: Desire (Hissaron) means that I simply want some fulfillment. For example, I am thirsty. Whereas an aspiration (Ishtokekut) depends on how much I really need it at a given moment, meaning how much I suffer now because I lack this fulfillment. This means that an aspiration is an addition to a desire and it measures the strength of the desire at a given moment, how much my ego is ready to suffer for the sake of reaching the desired goal.

In other words, how much are you ready to pay for this? Let’s see it now. You want to get it? No problem. How much can you give? We can measure your aspiration according to your answer. You say: “Well, a hundred.” “No, you should give a thousand.” “A thousand?” This is where you are tested with how much you are ready to pay. This is the way to measure your aspiration for the desired goal.

At the same time, a desire itself is simple. If something is free, I will take it. Obviously a person is evaluated according to his aspiration. A desire comes to us from the Creator, while we add aspiration through the environment. An aspiration is the fruit of our work, the result of our efforts.

From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/28/2011, Talmud Eser Sefirot

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In spirituality, “reason” represents the Light of Hochma (Wisdom) clothed in a vessel. In compliance with this Light, we sense and understand the Creator. The key here is not in the actual Light of Hochma, but in the Light of Hassadim (Mercy) which receives it, meaning in the measure of bestowal of which we are capable. These two Lights conform and adjust to one another.

In our world, we receive directly into our desire a certain portion of the Light without clothing it, without being similar to the Creator. This is why we are extremely limited in our reason. Our reason doesn’t develop us because it doesn’t teach us what to do next in order to reveal the Creator.

In contrast, in the spiritual world, we receive the upper Light, the Creator’s revelation, in the vessels of bestowal. This means I reveal the Creator with complete understanding of who and what He is.

In our world, I can look at a person and see a wall. To me he’s “impenetrable”; I don’t understand his language, don’t know his qualities or his thoughts. He’s concealed from me. But in the spiritual world, our contact means unification. I generate within the quality of bestowal, which is then clothed by the Light, and thereby I understand him. That is, I understand someone other than myself. My desire assumes his form, his structure. And the same process applies to everyone.

I have this raw, formless desire to receive which pertains to Malchut of Infinity. And through love and bestowal, I build in this desire various models to assume the forms of all souls existing outside of me. I create within, a space to construct a “set” of souls, and thereby I include everyone within me.

But this is only possible on the condition that I allocate within my desire a place for every soul, picturing where each should go. How can I know such a thing? Simply, to the extent that I bestow, I allow others to enter inside.

The resulting picture is very similar to the logo of the upcoming Moscow convention. A circle is my whole desire, and within it I allocate a segment for every friend. Gradually the circle is filled with souls, and in so doing, I return my own soul to myself. Indeed, presently it exists as if outside of me, but everything that I perceive as existing outside is my soul.

It follows that the quality of bestowal that I generate is merely a means, a condition that allows my soul to be returned within me.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/28/2011, “The Acting Mind”

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Question: How can we, your students, join your mind?

Answer: What does it mean “with me?” You are with me if you annul yourself, lower your desire before my desire. If you attend lessons, it does not necessarily mean that you are with me. This is not the study in the true meaning yet.

After all, uniting should be inner; it’s not about the words you hear. We unite through desires, goals, and common actions. The one who evokes the property of bestowal into action is the one who studies. In this case you indeed study the wisdom. You will not be able to receive the wisdom, the Light of Hochma (Wisdom), from me if you do not activate the Light of Hassadim (Mercy) as a vessel. And Hassadim is self-annulment and unity when you are ready for this.

You vacate a space for every soul in your heart, and then all souls fill this volume. The entire reality returns to you. However, it returns precisely through your annulment.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/30/2011, “The Acting Mind”

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To the extent that you want to see the group united and whole, existing in mutual, inner guarantee, you influence the whole group and infuse them with your power, your desire, the quality of bestowal. You want to permeate the friends so that they are filled with this quality. This is the meaning of “love thy friend as thyself” since you strive to fulfill them as you would yourself; moreover, they are even more important to you.

How can this be unclear? Everyone can feel it. You want to imagine your friends unifying together and you filling them to the brim! Here you don’t think about your personal benefit or loss, but only about the friends, about Shechina (Divinity). And if you’re only thinking about them, you will not experience any personal descents or ascents, but will continue living their desires.

When you undergo a descent, the reason is that your desires are locked. Your ego doesn’t feel that it can fulfill itself in any way. There are no pleasures to chase, and so you fall into hibernation and wait until your state changes with the flow of time.

This standstill happens because there are no new desires revealing in you. If you were to feel a new desire at that time, you would immediately awaken and wish to receive the whole world! Everything depends on desire.

It follows that if a great desire is revealed in you, you are overflowing with energy; if the desire is small, you are calm; but if the desire fades altogether, you die. But this can only happen if you’re working with your own desire.

However, if you work with the desires of others, you are continually renewed. This desire will no longer depend on you, but you will always have the desires of others. Therefore, you will not undergo ascents and descents; rather, you will keep rising and rising.

That is to say, ascents and descents will be of a different nature, determined not by the desire but by the Light: What else can you give, what else can you tear away from the will to receive and use for the sake of bestowal so as to add to your bestowal to the Creator?
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/27/2011, Shamati No.1

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Question: If a person is raised in religion from childhood and filled with the notion that there is only the Creator, why do people believe in all kinds of impure forces?

Answer: How can you believe in the Creator when you have never seen or otherwise sensed Him? What can you ask of a person who believes in second-hand stories? One person has one story to tell, another has something else, but neither of them has seen anything with their own eyes, and neither have I. There cannot be blind faith!

This is why the wisdom of Kabbalah speaks only of actual attainment, as it is said: “A judge has only what his eyes can see.” And by no means can we deviate from this principle.

We must know the Creator by revealing Him, not by believing in Him. Kabbalah says that there is some higher reality that we don’t perceive, which is still concealed from us. We know that looking at the world with nearsighted eyes you can only see a few feet in front of you, but with glasses you can see a mile away.

Similarly, there is another opportunity to infinitely expand our perception (vision, understanding, sensation) and also to add new qualities, to reveal new dimensions. All of this is possible. We accept this as a hypothesis, just as in science. We believe the Kabbalists that if we do certain actions which they speak of, we can achieve this new level of perception: achieve attainment, enlightenment, and sensation. The method is not about blind faith.

I have faith in the method; that is, I accept it with a question mark so that I could test and actualize it in practice. And then I see that the method is very logical, that it clearly explains to me how I can use the environment so that it changes me; I realize how I need to act with respect to the forces that exist in nature.

I believe only when I see that the method gives the desired result, though the actions themselves are clear and obvious. The notion that I can use the environment to work against my egoistic nature, to achieve a quality that’s opposite to it, is quite realistic. This is called “faith in the sages,” when I follow their advices.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/27/2011, Shamati No.1

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