Opinion (Michael Poulin, psychologist at the University at Buffalo): “What makes some people give blood and bake casseroles for their neighbors, while others mutter about taxes from behind closed blinds? A new paper published in Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science finds that part of the answer—but not all—may be in their genes.

“The hormones oxytocin and vasopressin are thought to affect how people behave toward each other. For example, lab tests have found that people play nicer in economic games after having oxytocin squirted up their nose. ‘This is an attempt to take this into the real world a little bit,’ says Michael Poulin.

“‘What makes you think of one of your neighbors as a really generous, caring, civic-minded kind of person, while another is more selfish, tight-fisted, and not as interested in pitching in?’ asks Poulin. Those neighbors’ DNA may help explain why one of them is nicer. ‘We aren’t saying we’ve found the niceness gene,’ he says. ‘We have found a gene that makes a contribution, but I think there’s something cool about the fact that it only makes a contribution in the presence of certain feelings people have about the world around them.’”

My Comment: Kabbalah believes that upbringing must take place under the influence of the correct environment in which there is a harmonious combination of strictness and love.
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Divorce has become very common today. There is an upsurge in the number of the divorced couples lately and their age is going down. Some of the married couples divorce in the first years of their marriage. There is a theory that marriage may have run its course. After all, life is full of temptations and it’s very hard to live with the same person for a whole lifetime.

A woman who has a family and children suddenly feels that she doesn’t love her husband anymore. He may be a good husband and a good father, yet it doesn’t matter; she simply doesn’t love him. There is a new natural phenomenon that is common among many women who suddenly lose the internal feeling of dependence and connection with their husband.

This was never typical of women. A woman who lived with her husband always got used to him and felt that she belongs to him. Suddenly all this is gone. This is a natural result of our development. We mustn’t blame the women if this is a natural phenomenon. First we have to study the phenomenon and see what to do about it.

It’s a result of our development: We leave the animate level and rise to the level of human, Adam, who resembles (Domeh in Hebrew) the global nature. Since we have to connect with this general nature now, with all of humanity, it breaks our personal private connections. Nature wants to “open our eyes,” to take us out of the family framework so that we will return to it later, but on a different level.

Everyone remembers the feeling of being in love, the strong unusual emotions, the excitement, inspiration, and the wholeness for which it was worthwhile to be together and to build a family. But with time this feeling disappeared. So why do we naturally fall in love that later disappears, forcing us to look for it all our lives?

Nature wants us to reach true love and to break off the beastly, egoistic love that doesn’t last. We have to change the instinctive attraction to the other sex, caused by natural passion and hormones, to a more purposeful connection.

The ordinary connection is formed because we are living for the children or for a shared household. In addition, it is convenient to be together since we can help each other and support each other when we grow old. But today we have to find the higher, internal connection. It’s impossible to keep a person in the old frameworks: He may throw away everything and leave. The children grow and leave the home and there is nothing to keep us together; so we’ve split everything that we have and get divorced. We see this everywhere.

In order to keep the unity of the family, we need a more sublime motive. It’s just as we have to reach peace and understanding all over the world since we won’t survive otherwise. But when we connect with the whole world because we have no choice, we suddenly discover that the main profit is not economic success at all! It was just an excuse to push us into building up better connections.

Suddenly, we actually discover that there is a totally new feeling in this connection that detaches us from corporeal life. We feel a fuller, more spiritual life. All of a sudden we discover a filling that we haven’t felt our whole life. We simply float in the air, feeling the extraordinary lightness of being without feeling death.

Before, I had to connect under nature’s pressures that set the condition: “You either connect or here will be your burial place.” But later I am surprised to discover that these relations are totally different. I simply couldn’t imagine that this will receive a higher filling, above this whole life.

It doesn’t matter how much you tell a person about this, he won’t understand. Therefore, nature pushes us from behind by suffering, obliging us to connect before we destroy one another. We connect since we have no choice only to eventually discover the beauty in this connection.

The same thing happens in the family. Now we hate one another and don’t want to be together, wanting to get divorced. But if each of us discovers in the world the lack of love, the need, and the desire to love, and if each of us understands what a sublime filling love brings, we will want to have these relations in our family. We will return to the family after we learn to love the whole world! Then we will want to reach an inner, personal connection with a spouse.

Then it won’t matter that we grow old in a number of years and are not as attractive as we used to. We won’t even pay attention to that. We’ll feel the same first love, but in a totally different way, and only after we learn to build internal relations by connecting with the whole world.
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From a “Talk About a New Life” #19, 2/02/12 

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We hope that we will gradually reach a level of agreement in society, the state, and between people when people begin to understand that no one else can change them but they themselves, and they will not be able to change the world without changing themselves, that the world is a person’s perception, his own reflection, and this is why it is necessary to play as if in the future so this future would become the present. As Kozma Prutkov once said: “If you want to be happy, be happy.” In general this is how it is.

This is why an instructor must also sort of be a psychotherapist. He must understand people very well and know all about this. Instructors must finish courses and have a lot of experience. They need to study exact formulas of behavior, change, and human reactions. In other words, the foundation of their experience must contain specific scenarios with proper inputs and outputs. They must understand what they are doing with people and the kinds of reactions that people might have, and they need to know exactly what they need to achieve the output.

Moreover, when working with a group of adults, we must also turn them into instructors while working with them because every person, in general, is his own instructor. And when he interacts with others, it turns out that everyone is instructing one another and themselves. In other words, this work is two-sided, it is the work of partnership between all the people.

And even though, in the beginning, there are instructors, educators, teachers, and methodologists working with the group, the group takes the entire method from them, the entire chain of changes that it must experience, the entire program, all the exact laws of behavior, the laws of influence and commutation between each other. At the end, everyone in the group comes to a point when they can apply this method to themselves and others, and actively interact with the rest, having exact understanding of how to change themselves under the influence of the group.

In other words, when a person ends up in any, even an accidental scenario, he feels exactly how to behave and how to fix this situation so he could influence it and make it have the right influence on him. This way he will always be able to work properly with the environment and simultaneously make it into an instrument for himself and the group that he influences.
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From a “Talk on Integral Upbringing” 2/27/12

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When I am included in society, I want to bestow upon all the other souls, all the desires that are outside me. But what can I bestow upon them? Then I (I) receive a very great Light from the Creator, the Light of Ein Sof (Infinity) (∞) that passes through me to others.

Eventually, each of us becomes similar to the Creator in his relation to others—the One who bestows, who feels everyone and fills them.

At the same time, we are all different and no one can take the place of another. Everyone has his own special abilities that allow him to join others and to give them something that only he can give them. It is this ability that makes a person similar to the Creator in his attitude to others.

The wisdom of Kabbalah tells us that a person shouldn’t be pressured or oppressed. The education should be free: We teach people about mutual guarantee, mutual connections, mutual help, and mutual fulfillment, but without coercion. If we dictate anything besides this to a person, we will deprive him of the ability to connect with others correctly and to bring his unique contribution for the benefit of all. He will not be able to be like the Creator in is attitude to the world and will not be able to raise himself to the Creator’s level, to the level of the One who bestows.

“Bestowal” is when I receive from the Creator and pass the Light that is meant for others through me. In order to enable a person to do that we have to give him the right education, without any pressure or oppression, according to the principle of: “educate the child in his own way.” In other words, develop his attributes, but don’t pressure, don’t oblige, and don’t break.

This is a special method and we have to learn how to use it. If we educate our children this way, they will become whole and successful people. This is because we will teach them to easily connect with others and thus provide them with the means to come closer to the Light. Thanks to this it will be easier for them to identify the general force that is concealed in nature. This is the uniqueness of our education.

A person in this world actually lacks only one thing, to know how to connect with other people. By learning how to connect, he will undoubtedly succeed in everything. This is the correction of the world. All our other dealings are only lies. We confuse ourselves by imaginary successes after which there are always disappointments, and crises and our troubles only keep on growing.
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From the Brazil Convention 5/05/12, Lesson 4

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Opinion (Ashok Gadgil, Director of the Environmental Energy Technologies Division of the Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory): “We are a global civilization, we have global operations, global economic activity, and we are dependent on the resources of the planet. Our civilization is so big and powerful that we can mindlessly destroy a thin film of life on our planet…

“As a result, the main task, in my opinion, is to find out what should be the laws of the new economy: consumption, population, industry, the management of society.

“Studies repeatedly show that the best way to control the population is to educate women. Education stops the oppression of women and solves a lot of social problems.

In nature, every kind wants to multiply and flourish, but all kinds live in harmony with other species on which they depend. And only a human being wants to take the whole area.

“This behavior cannot be a long-term pattern of behavior. We need to evolve, rather than to increase consumption, destroying the world. Today, few people think about future generations, everyone thinks about the current moment.”

My Comment: Kabbalah says that if we had liberated women from work and sent them to the “courses of integral education and upbringing,” we would have:

– been released from the burden of unemployment,

– ceased to produce unwanted goods,

– stopped depleting resources,

– stopped polluting the planet.

and women, freed from unnecessary work, and on the basis of acquired knowledge, would have dealt with education and upbringing of their men and children, and we would have found a solution to the crisis in all areas.
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Question: Suppose we have an integral study group, which needs some guidance, to be told what it will deal with, what process it will go through. What should we start with?

Answer: For the new members there should be talks about the world, about the new trend, about evolution based on the ego, etc. First we have to prepare a serious theoretical basis of the practical perspective of human history, of society, and of ourselves. A person is gradually brought to the question of “what’s next?” Suppose we have explored the modern world, our development, the development of man and all of nature, and where it’s leading us. We don’t even see the lack of free choice, the dynamics of our development, and the collapse of the ego as the engine, as the source of our life and of our advancement. We reach a crisis, what’s next?

Next, of course, there are different goals in nature. We are now at such an intersection in which we have to totally change our attitude towards the world because the ego with which we grew before has suddenly stopped working.

So where is it leading us? It’s leading us to its negation. We see that in all the problems, in depression, drugs, terrorism, and even the crisis in the family and society. The main thing that hurts us most of all is the economic crisis because we, as beasts, need to eat and to supply our basic needs. Here we find ourselves in a state where we will not be able to supply the basic needs, especially in the world that we have created around us, a world that is a huge urban jungle, in which we all have to do something in order to get what we need.

It’s very easy to destroy such a world. It’s so sensitive to the slightest inability to adapt that millions of people can find themselves cut off from food, water, and the supply of energy and other resources. We cannot even imagine how delicate and fragile the world we’ve created is, and if something goes wrong, just a little, it will collapse like a house of cards. All this will collapse and what about us?

As a result of our development, we have brought ourselves to this very unstable state. You can imagine cities around the world with a population of 20 million people, but even in cities with a population of 2 million people, what will happen when these people are cut off from food, electricity, water, or a sewage system?! This is the end!

There is a need for mutual cooperation among countries, without which we cannot manage. No country can provide its own needs by itself any more. So we can see that the world is really very fragile and unsafe. We are showing people all this, explaining the general trend and why nature and the ego have brought us to this point so that we will rise above the ego, because in the present state we are unable to adapt to the global integral nature. How can we be mutually connected to it, meaning being included in its integrality, in its sphere, in harmony, with our ego?

This is why we need guidance by which we can show people that there is another way to develop. When we psychologically change ourselves and people, we will see the world not from an egoistic perspective, but from an integral altruistic perspective. We’ll be able to form a totally different society that will be in harmony with all the natural laws. And then having no choice, a person, the family, the society, the state, civilization, and all of humanity will reach such harmony with nature that we’ll recover all the fragile balance on earth, internally and externally, with the rest of nature. This is possible only if a person changes from an individualist into a person of the universe. This is what we have to bring to people.

Now let’s see how this can be done: Can we leave the individualistic, egoistic perspective of the world? Can we change the egoistic glasses and see everything through integral lenses? What will I gain from that? In other words, I have to take care of everyone. Is it possible? I shouldn’t take myself into account, is that possible? Do I have to totally “leave” myself? What about me and my family, and my relatives? How can we aim at mutual cooperation with others so that we can form a unified society?

What does unified mean? It is when each of us doesn’t feel himself, but only the society, like ants, who only understand their cooperation. None of them has a separate role, a separate goal, size or priority, but all are operated by a collective mind, a program, and meticulously carry out all the orders of the program. Is this possible? This is where nature is leading us. On such a level we will reach total harmony with it.

What do we gain from that? Although it sounds a bit like a fantasy, we are gaining the feeling of eternity, the feeling of infinity, because all our feelings today are within the limited ego, while here we move on to a different feeling, outside ourselves. Then a person doesn’t feel his own beastly body anymore, by rising to the next level, to the next dimension called “human,” which we didn’t feel before. He isn’t in his “animal” anymore, but rises to an upper level. Until today we were actually more developed animals.
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From a “Talk on Integral Education” #17, 02/28/12

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Today we resemble a malignant tumor that is destroying its environment. Eventually, when it will have nothing more to devour, the body will die and so will the tumor. We are in the same mutual relations with nature—our ego swallows its environment.

How can we build an environment that will turn us into people who mutually complete one another? This is the problem of modern education: how to change man? Basically the current crisis is a social, anthropological crisis.

We suddenly realize that we haven’t been taught how to be human either in the true sense of the word. We all graduated from schools where we studied different subjects. For years teachers stood in front of us and lectured us and then expected good grades on tests. They didn’t teach us to establish the right relations among us, they didn’t teach us true values, and they didn’t explain how to understand those around us or even ourselves.

I don’t even know the basics of my psychology. Why am I the way I am? What is going on inside me? What determines the decisions I make? What is my way of thinking based on? Where do all the new desires I feel come from? What is the source of my internal urges and impulses? We were not taught all of this. On the contrary, no one bothered to teach us how to mutually connect correctly, and today we see the results of this “education” in our daily life.

This is the reason for the emergence of a new science—integral education.

We are seeing an increase in crime, domestic violence, and other social problems that cost us money, energy, and health, and summon fears and uncertainty. If we were free from them, we could release great social powers and would save billions on improving our lives.

According to integral education, the person himself should never be the actual direct target. We should only give him good examples, even without words. This is how a child looks at grown ups, imitates their actions, and thus grows. If we place him among animals he will be like them. So the good future of our society lies in setting the right environment for a person.

We actively develop this method and teach it to our children after school, who a person is, what his psychology is, how he makes decisions, why he thinks about himself and about others the way he does, why he considers certain people as his friends and others as his enemies, etc.

We teach the kids to sit in a circle, not behind desks, and we have discussions. If someone makes a mistakes or does something wrong, we set up a kind of a courtroom in which the kids, each one in his turn, play the roles of the judge, the lawyers, the witnesses, the spectators, and the jury.

Changing roles enables each one to look at him or herself and at others from the side, by playing different roles and by checking who is right. Thanks to this role play, a young person begins to understand others and realizes that there can also be different perspectives. Besides, we teach the kids that every problem needs to be solved together.

Eventually they develop integrally, understanding how to establish the right relationships among them. Then it is much easier for a child to keep the good relations with everyone. By “being in the shoes of another,” he sees that he cannot do anything and shouldn’t do anything with his evil inclination that he should only rise above it in good relations with others.

Thus the kids are coordinated with nature; having both the positive and the negative sides and the balance between them creates life. Just as our heart constantly pulses and the lungs contract and expand: Everything works in a harmony of opposites: The minus and the plus constantly change. So instead of destroying our ego, we have to use it correctly with the help of the other force. When we balance them our life becomes harmonious.

Thus our kids receive a wonderful “bonus” in their development. Thanks to that, their grades improve at school and some of them are accepted to university at the age of 13. This is because the integral education opens up such abilities in a person about which he didn’t even think of before.

We know that a person’s brain uses only about 3-5% of its potential, while here the capacity suddenly grows thanks to the fact that it works with two forces, balancing them.

At the same time, there is less violence in the classroom, the violent arguments cease and the individual outbursts end quickly, enabling a person to learn from that since the kids immediately discuss it in a circle.

As to the teacher, he isn’t above the students, but rather sits together with them on the same level. His or her role is to start the discussion and to guide it in the right direction. In the ancient world, people used to study this way, by talks and discussions. Thanks to that a person acquires positive creative power.
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From the Lecture in Chile 5/1/12, “Reaching the Internal Connection

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In our current global world we are all connected whether we like it or not, and this is dangerous because it can lead to an explosion, a world war. There are already talks about it, but there is no solution.

If the ego has already ended its development and doesn’t allow us to advance further, then the pressure that expands this integral system, which is totally mutually dependent, may bring about anything. And we will be ready to do anything just to break this connection. This is the uniqueness of our times.

Endless research studies show that we have reached a special point in our development that is unprecedented in human history. In the past, the growing ego constantly pushed us from behind, and we knew that life would be good for us or for our children. But today we don’t expect our children to have a better life than we have. On the contrary, soon we will totally deplete all the natural resources, pollute the environment, and run out of fresh water and clean air. There is no place where we can develop.

This crisis is the essence of a new humanity. It isn’t by chance that the word “crisis” (ρίσις) means birth in ancient Greek, a turning point from which a new life begins. So by examining the current situation, we have to understand: What is new here? What is being revealed to us?

The whole problem is that until now we have developed through one, negative force that molded different needs in us and pushed us forward to fulfill them. We lack a second, positive force that pulls and unites. This force doesn’t exist in our nature, in the human essence. No matter what we do, it is all meant for personal gain, to use others for our own benefit.

So where can we attain this second force? After all, our body and all natural systems are built on the cooperation of two opposing forces: plus and minus, hot and cold, pressure and

vacuum, etc. In the inanimate, vegetative, and animate nature there is always one against the other, and life develops in the balance between these forces, in harmony, in the right absorption and emission. But on the “human” level and on the level of our consciousness the positive force doesn’t exist, only the negative force: I constantly want to use whatever I see and receive what I feel that I lack.

Today we are at the peak of this trend, and at this point we must realize that we lack the other positive force. It will not come to us instinctively, naturally; we have to develop it ourselves. Many scientists are studying this problem. In the ARI Institute we are in contact with thousands of experts throughout the world. They all agree about this issue, that without this positive force we will not be able to go on. But where can we find it? The answer is simple: a person has to stabilize his source by building a new society.

It is common knowledge that we develop by our society. A child left in a forest will grow like an animal and will not develop into a person. A person is the result of the human society he grows in. This is why we are so concerned about the friends our children play with, the school they go to, and who they see; society molds us.

If we want to create a new man that lives in harmony with others, then we have to establish the right environment for him in order to teach him the integral way of thinking that is based on bestowal and not on receiving.

Today as the mutual global connection is growing stronger, we already feel the connections among countries. In the future the social pressure will also increase. So we simply have to take care of ourselves.

Everything depends on whether we establish an environment. No one is happy about the current situation. The conflicts everywhere are more intense and the despair is growing. There is no other choice. It is time to develop the integral education, to draw the positive force. Then we will discover that the current crisis is revealing negativity only so that positivity will be placed opposite to it. In this way our society (on every level, up to the global level), like all of nature, will be based on two forces: the positive and the negative. In the middle, in the connection, in the balance between them, we will find new life, the true “human” level.

We will feel the harmony in nature that is concealed from us since we are working with only one force. By rising above the inanimate, vegetative, and animate nature, and working on the human level by independently acquiring the positive force and balancing it with the negative force, we will become acquainted with nature’s perfect system, and discover the forces that manage us behind the screen of matter. We will suddenly discover this huge system that created life and that manages it through evolution. We will begin to develop consciously by discovering these forces and advance with them.

So our current state is actually our birth. Everything depends on us, and on whether we will manage to organize the integral education. It isn’t by chance that the current crisis is global and varied; it includes everyone and everything, and we have to find the general balance point to compensate for it.

Then, we will truly feel happy. We will begin to discover nature’s eternity, and will feel that we are on the “human” level, which is independent of our body. In our consciousness we will rise above it and discover nature’s “level of knowledge” that manages the whole universe. Many scientists are talking about this today, especially those who deal with quantum physics.

Eventually the integral education will open up new horizons for us in science, culture, society, and family by which we will acquire and create a new dimension of life, and promise ourselves a better future.
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From the Lecture in Chile 5/1/12, “Reaching the Internal Connection”

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Lesson from Colombia, Topic: Arvut in the Group

Lesson from Colombia, Topic: Time of Change 

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I would like to talk about the condition Nature sets before us: We have to reach absolute love between all seven billion people in the world. Is this condition really indisputable? Are we capable of fulfilling it? Is it really so that if we achieve at least partial success, if we advance in this direction, we will see, time after time, that it’s all for our benefit, that it changes us, our environment, and all of life for the better?

The essence of every person’s nature is concern for themselves. A person is incapable of thinking about something else. If we examine and study all of our actions, we’ll see that we need energy in order to carry them out. Even for the simplest motion, like when I shift my hand from place to place, I need to expend energy. However, this energy can appear and be at my service only on condition that by using it, I will achieve some benefit for myself.

Accordingly, we have the following condition: Any internal shifts within atoms or molecules, any bodily motion, any movement in my feelings and reason, all require that I see the beneficial state that will be result from this process. This is how I relate to everything in my life.

Certain actions, I perform instinctively. For example, whenever I’m sitting in a chair, I don’t think about what position to sit in. During a conversation, I don’t ponder my vocal inflections. In the majority of cases and actions, everything is carried out according to an internal calculation. Within me there nestles an egoistic desire to feel well and experience a pleasant sense of well-being. This I see as the desired outcome of all of my actions.

The hope for a good feeling operates constantly and secures me in a given state. Wherever I may be going, whatever I’m doing or saying, no matter how I carry myself, all of this is merely in order to obtain the best possible means for a good state.

I want to eat, sleep, or party. I am required to work in order to provide for myself. All that I do is only to bring me benefit. In essence, my entire life is about how to reach the greatest profit with the minimum suffering and maximum pleasure in order to fill myself with whatever I can.

With what should I fill myself? This depends on my upbringing, the influence of my environment, the scale of values that I received, and from habit that becomes second nature. What I was taught is what I learn to live with, even if it’s unnatural. This is how I live, doing many things in my life not because I wanted this initially, but because society, parents, and educators taught me and accustomed me to it. As a result, I act mechanically, not needing the power of thought.

There are other things in life, too. These things I am forced to do, and they require internal effort, the kind where I convince myself that it’s worth it. Let’s say an alarm rings, and I get up even though I want to sleep. Perhaps I have a difficult and uninteresting job, but still I know that after an exhausting day of work, I will come back to my family and into the warm, homey atmosphere where I can rest and experience good feelings. However, I have to pay for these feelings, and this is why I’m slaving away.

All of my actions, all contacts with some people and distancing from others ultimately are designed to create a more pleasant atmosphere for me. So, I’m always concerned about how I can feel better.

This is the nature of each of us, and it pertains to the “animate” degree. Essentially, the still, vegetative, and animate levels of nature always aspire toward feeling better, toward an ever better state. It seems to all creatures that this state will be balanced, that in it they won’t feel pressure or be pulled in some different direction, but will be in harmony with what they imagine to be a better life.

So, it turns out that all my life I observe the “law of feeling better.” This is the condition on which we exist, and our egoistic nature constantly directs us toward it.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” Episode 13, 01/11/12 

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