There is the will to receive (desire), and in it, Reshimot (spiritual records, genes). The former is submerged in the ocean of Upper Light. The Light is defined as a fixed value [the red arrow in the diagram below], whereas the desire and Reshimot are subject to change.
Essentially, it doesn’t matter to me exactly how and to what extent they change. I don’t see the whole process anyway, and I am not familiar with the order of development of the common system of souls, which I am a part of. My chief concern is my response to the consistency of the Upper governance that aims me through the “obstacles” at the goal and makes me be consistent in my attitude to Him.
In this case, we, I and the Creator, are in adhesion. I understand that the Creator is Good Who does good and support this attitude in myself, despite numerous changes, as if I am a boat in a storm. Above all that is occurring in me, I study His governance. He changes all internal and external parameters in my world, while I demonstrate unyielding yearning for Him in the same parallel to the consistent good, in adhesion, so as “not to lose faith in mercy even if a sword is raised over my head.”
Thus I experience His nature on myself. Reshimot unfold in me, leading me up on the rungs of the spiritual ladder by which we descended from the World of Infinity. Above each Reshimo, each new rung, I merge with the Creator again and again. Moreover, I must ascend each new step feeling completeness and joy even though internally, I may be carrying an empty, suffering desire or one filled with heavenly delights.
Regardless of what I feel, be it suffering and devastation or fulfillment and pleasure, I am totally above them because I am absorbed in bestowal. Within me, there are hatred and transgressions, but above them, I am ascending in bestowal. I don’t focus on my desire. Let it remain empty; let it be filled with filth or its opposite, Upper Light, I still concentrate solely on how, above all this, to build my consistent attitude to the Giver.
And this is what comprises our work: to constantly aspire and turn to Him above all that is taking place within us. I value my desires where the Reshimot unfold since without them, I wouldn’t be able to form a relationship and merge with the Creator. But the work itself is being performed above this where I am building the middle line, the screen.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/14/10, “And Jacob Sat at the Land Where His Father Dwelled”