Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Why is it so hard for people to listen to someone without interrupting them?“

Why is it sometimes very hard to listen to others? Due to our egoism and pride, where we primarily consider our self-benefit over everything and everyone else, it is common for us to hold certain disagreements with others’ opinions. It might not even be a different opinion, but the sheer fact that another person is saying what I would want to say and not me is enough for me not to listen.

The opinion itself is not so important. What matters is the ability to express oneself.

Sometimes, a situation arises where one person pushes their views onto another who might have different views, and this gives a feeling that the one pushing their views is suppressing the other person’s sense of self. It is because when we listen, we fall under the influence of the other person. Where are we in those moments? We seemingly become nonexistent, which is why we feel a need to switch on our own mouths here and there.

In other words, we should not enter into conversations in a direct and forceful way, even if what we say is seemingly right and to the point. There needs to be preparation. That is, we need to give the person we are talking with a feeling that they are right. We can then talk our hearts away with them, and afterward, when the other person has discharged themselves, we can then start turning the conversation little by little.

Based on the video “Why Can it Be So Hard to Listen to Other People?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What is Israel’s side of the story?“

Recently, at a border crossing in Huwara, a large town South of Nablus, a Palestinian terrorist was shot dead by an Israeli border police officer during a struggle after the terrorist tried to steal the officer’s weapon. The event was filmed, distributed on social media and presented as the execution of a Palestinian. Israel was condemned for the act by the United Nations, America and others, and it once again awakened the question as to whether others will see Israel’s side of the story. That is, the officer acted in order to protect his own life and the life of others, and it is also written in the Torah that if a person comes to kill you, you need to kill them first.

That others will see Israel’s side of this story depends solely on whether we Jews act out of a common unification toward each other, above our differences. The world will then shift its attitude toward Israel from negative to positive, i.e. to a people who bring peace and love to humanity. As much as we behave as a divided people, then the world will likewise feel that we bring sorrow and torment to the world—and they will continue viewing us in a negative light.

Israel is held to completely different standards than any other nation because there is more of a demand upon Israel than on any other nation. We initially became the people of Israel when we followed Abraham’s guidance and reached a state of “love your neighbor as yourself.” Attaining a state of a common love toward each other is a law that we need to abide by in order to realize what we need to do in the world. After we implement this law among our own connections, we will then be able to love others too, and then they will also love us in return.

It acts like a chain, and the first link of that chain is love for our fellow people here—among the people of Israel. If we reach a state where we positively connect to each other above our differences, we will then positively influence the rest of the world. Other nations will then gain an ability to positively connect, and then they will understand that Israel grants them this ability. We will then become treated contrarily to how we are treated today: as bringers of peace. Humanity’s good or bad future rests in how the people of Israel will attune their attitudes toward each other.

Based on the video “When Will People See Israel’s Side of the Story?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Oren Levi. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What are some ways to inspire someone to open up in a conversation?“

Open your heart to the other person.

If you want to connect with them and to be understood, then the other person has to feel that you wish to be in connection with them, and that your heart is open to accept them.

Based on the video “Communication Tip: Open Your Heart” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Does Kabbalah improve how people get along?“

The wisdom of Kabbalah is all about bringing people together.

Human connection holds primary importance in the method, and becoming a Kabbalist means becoming an expert in positive human connection.

For instance, I understand every person I have ever spoken to, and I have spoken to thousands of people. I find in each person some part of them in me. It could be an enemy, an antisemite, a Nazi, a drunk, someone very coarse, a thief or a mobster. I find the same qualities that they have in me. It is not that I am a complete thief that dedicates their life to robberies, but that quality exists in me.

I have to let others feel that I understand them. And it could even be the most terrible criminal: I have to show them that I understand them, that I can somewhat step into their shoes, understand where they come from, and justify that I would turn out the same way given the conditions that they went through. When you relate to a part of other people in you, you can then easily talk to anyone.

Show me any person in the world who I am not included in? We learn in the wisdom of Kabbalah, whether you like it or not, from the very top to the very bottom and in all directions, that you are an integral part of all the souls. Likewise, you include all the opinions and discernments of the souls. Other people should then feel that inclusion when they talk to you.

Based on the video “Does Kabbalah Help People Get Along?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Are there any advantages/ benefits to living under a dictatorship?“

In the Soviet Union, people were made hungry and forced to work, otherwise they would be taken to work in concentration camps in Siberia.

People had nothing to do but struggle to realize their life’s bare essentials to survive. That is, the conditions were set for people to engage in and think only about their essentials.

In other words, such a system lowers human beings to the level of animals so that people become easier to control. There are several examples where rulers generate such conditions in order to make societies live like animals, constantly struggling to meet their basic needs. We then become preoccupied with being safe, secure and comfortable, with no lofty aspirations.

If we are relieved from the pressure just to sustain our physical existence, then we immediately start demanding more. We further develop and can no longer tolerate pressure from the ruling systems.

Then, we encounter another problem: How will we act when we can further develop?

Since we are egoists by nature, where we each prioritize self-benefit over benefiting others and nature, then our further development means becoming more sophisticated egoists. We develop increasingly refined tools of trying to satisfy ourselves with no real consideration of others, failing to pay attention to the accelerated path to self-destruction that we pave. In that regard, dictatorship is preferable because it places clear boundaries around society, relating to people like robots moving around a machine.

Therefore, in order to realize our additional freedom in a way that does not lead us to destruction, but to benefiting us all, we need to couple our increased freedom with an upgrade in our education. In other words, we need a higher level of understanding throughout society on how today’s tightly interdependent world is completely different to the world of the past, and how to balance our attitudes with today’s globally-interdependent conditions in order to bring about a harmonious and peaceful change.

We can then change our behavior from being animals to being human beings, knowing how to grow, and using our additional freedom to grow as human beings.

Based on the video “The Key to Prosperous Human Development: Learning How to Use Freedom for Growth” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What are some tips for getting the most out of any conversation?“

Even though you think that a person is wrong, tell them the contrary, that you agree with them.

This is a tip that we can learn from hunting animals. A hunting tactic is to show the animal that you have something it is interested in, and then you catch it. This is a male instinct from ancient times.

Showing agreement, understanding and identification with a person’s life opens them up to you. It is not like boxing where they open up to you and then you punch them. But you prepare them to not hold any prejudices against you, and that they will open the windows of their mind and will gradually start listening to you. When they feel that you agree with them, then it helps to awaken the thought that they too need to change their opinion, even if just a little bit—unlike how it originally appeared to them—and then you enter a common opinion.

It is important to note that the principle here is not to let that person feel that you understand them, that you are in their situation, and that you agree with what they say in order to gradually say what is important to you and to draw them to your direction. No. Around 90 percent of the time, when you talk to another person, you should talk to them on their turf.

Based on the video “How to Let Others Open Up to You” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Harli Marten on Unsplash.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What do Israelis think of Israeli reporters being boycotted and ignored by Arab fans in the Qatar World Cup?“

Recently at the Qatar World Cup, Israeli reporters experienced strong hostility due to their connection to Israel, which surprised them.

For instance, there was a situation where a Qatari approached an Israeli reporter and told them, “I’d want to tell you welcome, but you’re really not welcome. Get out of here as soon as you can.”

People from all over the world came to Qatar and were greeted with smiles and hugs; and the Israelis were treated terribly. Israelis thought that the recently-signed Abraham Accords with some of the Gulf countries would bring some moderation, but instead the same hatred revealed itself.

Indeed, we will be hated until we become more like Abraham, or in other words, until we show the world that we truly want peace, that we have a tendency toward peace, and that our goal is to bring peace, wholeness and tranquility to the world.

Today, Israel is viewed as a threat to world peace. It is because we indeed have the ability to turn the world to war or peace, and peace depends on us uniting above our differences. Until there will be peace among Jews, there will be no peace in the world, and people will increasingly point the finger of blame on the Jewish people, that we are the ones causing various wars and conflicts.

It has nothing to do with Israel’s foreign relations, i.e. how Israel treats other nations like the Palestinians, but it solely depends on our inner relations. If we treat each other favorably, like good neighbors, within Israel, then our positive relations will extend a heatwave of connection throughout the world. If we currently held such an attitude toward each other, then our reporters would have instead enjoyed a warm and friendly welcome at the Qatar World Cup.

Based on the video “Israeli Reporters Shunned at the Qatar World Cup – A Kabbalist’s Response” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Oren Levi. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “How do you tame people?“

Animals can be tamed through positive and negative stimuli. People can be tamed similarly if they are lowered to the degree of animals. If we constantly hold such an influence over people, without letting them develop beyond such stimuli, always holding them under positive or negative influences, then they feel nothing more than those influences. We then provide people with no means of self-criticism but only to run away from the bad and move toward the good. People then become lowered to the degree of animals and behave accordingly.

If, however, we give people freedom from positive and negative pressures, then we provide the possibility of further mental and emotional development.

We can see throughout history that there were periods of slavery, and periods where people fought just to meet their basic needs. Their only problem was how to get food and a roof over their head. However, human progress led to them becoming more capable, providing themselves with food, heat, shelter, family and even a society where they looked out for each other. Then emerged the opportunity to care for their inner fulfillment, and to feel the need to fulfill an additional “something.” They developed arts, music and literature, and this emergence of a new spiritual yearning marked the beginnings of the human being.

Human beings are much more than creatures that simply respond to positive or negative stimuli. We also grow from within, and there is a certain level that our inner growth can reach.

Likewise, it is incorrect to give children incentives for positive behavior and to punish them for negative behavior. We see that even with various prizes and punishments, we cannot prevent children from developing in their own individual ways. One child wants something, and another child wants something else, and they do not really care about how we guide or direct them—through prizes or pressure toward something else. We all have a need to express ourselves.

Based on the video “Can You Tell the Human from the Animal?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “Can humans be tamed?“

We need to develop ourselves as human beings beyond our animate level of existence, and it is possible with a certain kind of education.

Developing ourselves as human beings means learning and balancing ourselves with the integral laws of nature operating on our lives. If we learn how to positively connect among each other in human society, with altruistic attitudes replacing our current egoistic attitudes, we then develop ourselves beyond the animate level of existence and become human beings in the fullest sense of the term.

First, we need to provide for our animate lives, giving our physical bodies the food, sex and family that they require, then after taking care of those essentials, we can begin our human development. We then need to learn who and what we are, where we are from, why we exist, how we can develop ourselves, how we can control our human development, what our attitude to our surrounding society should be, what society’s attitude should be toward us, and how we can develop together harmoniously, i.e. us in relation to society, and society in relation to us.

We need to supply ourselves with this development that will make us human beings. Unfortunately, I see nobody understanding what it means to develop a human being, and we thus fail to realize such a process. One of the outcomes of our lack of development into human beings is our inability to understand the younger generation. We become increasingly detached from them, and do not know what will happen with them or how to guide them in a beneficial direction. We thus let life unfold as it does, into a proliferation of problems and crises.

Very simply, we need to learn what nature wants from us, and to develop in order to balance with nature’s demands toward us. If we meet those demands, we can then build a harmonious and peaceful world, one that is in balance with nature.
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Based on the video “Can Humans be Tamed?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Alexandr Hovhannisyan on Unsplash.

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Michael Laitman, On Quora: “What is Behavioral change?“

Inside us is a model of our surrounding environment. It is where we create and feel the environment. We receive impressions from our surrounding environment, which in turn builds its systems into the inner model that we host.

People specifically can develop inner models of their environment much more than animals. For instance, a dog can feel its master, and a cat can feel the moods of people in its vicinity. A human being, however, builds a model of the environment within that includes the universe, nature and human society. We relate to our environment through our inner model, and our environment also lives in that model. Accordingly, we interact with and feel the environment, beginning life on the human level.

Behavioral change begins from our inner models, which incorporate with and feel our environments, and which develop attitudes in relation to those models. If we are critical of other people’s behaviors, we might simply ask them, “Don’t you understand what you’re doing?” “Don’t you understand…?” means that we actually ask whether the person has a certain inner model, i.e. a set of attitudes that have developed toward people and nature, and why that person cannot understand something from the model they host.

Some people are internally deaf, i.e. they cannot build these models within themselves, and likewise they have a certain level of detachment from their environment. They do not understand what is required of them. It is like babies who have not yet developed such systems within themselves. They observe other people but do not understand what everyone wants. There are many such people. Most people live their lives without the accurate inner models of the universe, nature, society and what is required of them in this vast system.

Building accurate inner models of our environment—the universe, nature and human society—is the education we need today. The behaviors that we assume depend on the measure to which we, according to our inner models, can correctly work with them. We then realize those models in practice through our behavior toward the world. Behavioral change is thus the result of our finding the correct model of the universe, nature and human society.
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Based on the video “What Is Behavioral Change?” with Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman and Tal Mandelbaum. Written/edited by students of Kabbalist Dr. Michael Laitman.
Photo by Eduardo Sánchez on Unsplash.

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