A question I received: How can we strive for bestowal if we don’t perceive spirituality and don’t have a clear vision of the goal, spiritual objects, and forms? How can I aim myself at them and take a step in their direction without doing it wrong?

My Answer: That would be correct if speaking of externality, but spirituality is called the inner world. It requires internal evolution because it occurs solely based on our inner changes.

When I choose the environment by which to be influenced, I thereby determine what my next desires and inner transformations will be. My constant examination of progress is based on what advances me. Is it based on whether or not I have received egoistical fulfillment or satisfaction from something I did, a feeling of pride for my actions, receiving someone’s praise, gaining greater understanding, or attaining better perception? Or, am I progressing in spite of the emptiness in all of my egoistic desires? Am I willing to keep going without fulfillment, but by being fueled by another force?

What is this other force? I don’t know. I demand to be granted it. It is the force of bestowal and love. This force can’t be gained from the group; the group can only instill in me the importance of receiving it. The force itself has to come from the Creator.

I suddenly start sensing a whole laboratory within me and I don’t require any external images. I begin to see that the gradation of qualities and the examination thereof occur within me. What happens outside of me has no importance. I see the spiritual goal – to keep working fueled solely by love and bestowal – within myself as well. I wish my desires to be filled with the Reflected Light, not by the direct fulfillment. I want the sensation of bestowal, not the sensation of fulfillment by the Light.

Thus, I shun my doubts such as where is the external goal and how do I reach it. I now sense that it is within me. I examine and evaluate it by analyzing what fills my spiritual vessel and the source of its life energy and what it expects: satiated fulfillment or the fuel for bestowal. Then, I don’t feel that I am lacking some vision and external signs on the spiritual path, it is all within me.

When a person gradually transfers his attention from the external parameters to the internal ones, this transformation is the measuring device as to how close he came to the Machsom, the barrier that separates the corporeal world from the spiritual worlds or degrees.

That is when a person starts, with the help of the Creator, to control himself from the outside, through the group, in such way that he can work not for the sake of advancing according to his own egoistical criteria, but above reason. A person begins to operate on some foreign type of energy that he didn’t possess before. His body, the vehicle, starts moving on its own like an “eternal engine.” It is an indication that he has begun to receive the energy of bestowal that serves as his fuel.

From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/28/10, Article, “Sometimes You Call Spirituality By the Name Soul (Neshama)”

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A question I received: In books, there is always a main character of the story. When I read a Kabbalistic book and try to imagine all the internal forces are there also a central force as well as less important secondary forces?

My Answer: When you read a Kabbalistic book, what counts is not your understanding, but rather your effort. Spiritual revelation is a contradictory process. On the one hand, revelation is an intimate, individual process that occurs within me, and on the other, the forces that are needed to attain the revelation come from other souls through my connection with them. It looks like a contradiction in terms. I would rather my desire for spirituality stay one on one with the Creator and the Light that Reforms. Yet, if I wish to reveal spirituality, I can do so only in the Light of bestowal which comes to me through the group.

So it follows that I use my point in the heart (a desire for spirituality) to read the Kabbalistic book, and while reading to want to put together the picture within myself as it is described in the book. But what material serves me as a basis for the changes I undergo? For this practical work, I am given the environment, the group. Only by being interconnected with each other whereby I relate to them correctly and they do the same in return, can we raise our request, MAN.

In return, I receive the Light that Reforms; that is, I am granted a correct attitude that enables me to see what is written in the book. That is when I begin to transform myself and see my authentic connection with others. At this point, establishing union with others is no longer a problem. They become my world through which I implement what I read about; by connecting with others, I feel the property of bestowal, our interconnectedness that the book was depicting.

For now I only sense an irresolvable conflict. I agree to have a relationship between myself and the Creator, myself and the book, myself and the Light, myself and myself, myself and the world, myself and the group, but I always insist that everything starts with me! Here, however, I need to connect with the others in order to serve them, to act only for their benefit. This is something totally unclear to me.

How can I possibly switch the attention from myself to the others without feeling the difference between us? How can I open and give away my heart to them? At first, I refer to a Kabbalistic book using my egoism, but later on, I begin to understand that I need the force of bestowal. That is when I appeal to the group so as to receive a sensation of bestowal from it. And when I realize that I do not have and cannot have this property, I understand that I need the Light that Reforms which helps me transform myself in accordance with the book.

Having a common desire which we receive from the group, we all raise MAN. In return, I receive the Light of correction and begin to relate to a Kabbalistic book differently. I can build myself in accordance with the book’s instructions, like putting together a Lego set.

From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/24/10, The Zohar

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We should not forget about the influence of the Upper Light upon us. It is the most important component, yet we constantly forget about it. When the Light works on us, it gives us a certain sensation of the other side, the nature of bestowal, and that tiny spark within us begins to grow.

We are entirely immersed within our egoism, yet this miniscule spark of bestowal, the point in the heart, is granted to us. If we study Kabbalah books and work with the friends by trying to connect them to ourselves, we thereby draw the Surrounding Light that brings us back to the Source.

The point in the heart expands and grows bigger, and in this additional volume we begin to sense what bestowal is, that it is opposite to reception, our egoistic qualities. In this way we study one in contrast with the other, allowing us to check these qualities, like plus against minus.

It is similar to how in physics or chemistry, evaluations are made by comparing opposites for otherwise it is impossible to discern anything. There must be light against darkness, and only then do we begin understanding something.

This is why we sit down and study. And even if we don’t understand anything, gradually, by being with the group and close to authentic Kabbalistic sources, we draw the Surrounding Light.

From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/25/10, Shamati #99

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There are two forces in nature: reception and bestowal. These two forces depict pictures on our desire to enjoy like on a computer screen. They project the picture of the world that consists of me and everything around me. As Baal HaSulam writes, in the posterior part of our brain there is a screen through which we perceive a picture of the world.

This picture is created with the help of two forces: a receiving (left) force and a bestowing (right) force. The combination of these two forces on my egoistic material depicts the whole picture of reality for me. I feel it, I see a picture, as it were, and it seems to me that this picture, this reality, exists outside of me. I, myself, project my inner picture in front of me. This is how I “see the world.” It’s as though I retrieve it from within myself and project it outside.

Why am I built this way? Why do I see my inner world in an external form? It is in order for us to treat it egoistically with neglect and hostility. Thereby, we receive an opportunity to study our inner world and to correct ourselves.

If I sensed it as being inside of me, I would never be able to correct myself because I would relate to everything in a positive manner with goodness, but solely in an egoistic manner. But now, since my ego comes out to the outside and I feel that it is foreign, I relate to my “external self” like to a foreigner, egoistically in a negative way, rather than positively and like it is my inner part. Therefore, I have an opportunity to understand what “external” and “internal” mean for me.

The world was split into two parts: me and the others. I cannot convince myself that something which exists outside of me is my own. I am given an opportunity to see my inner essence in the outside picture: “Come and see who you are and how you treat those around you. This is how you are inside.” You say, “Look how ugly this one is, how lazy that one is, how dumb another one is! I hate them so much!” Meanwhile, all these qualities are yours and not those of others.

These revelations help me. Otherwise I would never be able to relate to them, to completely reveal the “evil inclination” (egoistic desire, hate for everyone) and later to understand that these are my inner qualities that are projected on the outside.

Then I begin to understand how the Creator helps me by giving me such a perception of reality: to see my insides on the outside. I begin to understand how much this helps me, and that without this, I would be completely locked within myself and I would never be able to understand what the “I” is. Meanwhile, there is something here, “something in me that I do not consider to be me.”

Therefore, our entire work boils down to the unification of our inner self with our outer self, with the outside world, and particularly with the group. We can practice with the group. After all, when I begin to work with the group and try to treat the friends like myself, I see that I am incapable of uniting no matter how much I try to convince myself that all this outside of me is also me. I can’t even treat a small part of humanity, the group, whose goal is close to my own, like myself. I can’t relate to it above my egoistic mind.

In this regard, I begin to see this egoism like something that was artificially created by the Creator, particularly for its annulment. However, I am unable to do this on my own; I can only desire it and then ask the Creator for the disappearance of it (egoism). Why should I ask? In order to receive a connection with the Creator!

“How can this be?” Understand that they are you! Treat them with love, since they are parts of your soul!

“But I can’t!” They are your friends, your neighbors. They are advancing to the same goal as you! What separates you after all?

“The force of the breaking separates us. The Creator placed it as an obstacle, and I cannot overcome it.” And then you ask to correct this in particular. You ask for correction and incorporate the whole world into yourself.

From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/24/10, The Zohar

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A question I received: Who is our “Upper One” in spirituality?

My Answer: We don’t know that. We exist in the womb of the Upper One as a mere point, a droplet of semen, our spiritual Reshimo (record, gene). Beyond this Reshimo, we have nothing else!

In fact, our corporeal body, mind, and feelings have no relation to the spiritual world and cannot be seen there. In the spiritual world, there is only a womb of the Upper One (Malchut of Infinity) and us inside it. And each of us is a Reshimo (0/1, Shoresh Aviut/Aleph Hitlabshut) or in other words, a point in the heart.

Our task, as a point in the heart, is to try to cling to the wall of the spiritual womb! Beginning with the three days during which the semen is absorbed, the first problem for the embryo (us) is to attach itself to the wall of the womb. Attaching to the womb is establishing the very first contact with the Upper One.

In order to do this, we must annul ourselves before the Upper One. But where is this Upper One, this wall of the womb? What is it exactly? The Upper One is the Kabbalistic group, my environment! This is how the Upper One reveals the Creator for me.

Thus, there are the group and me, who adheres to it, despite all the obstacles. I accept the entire force of the group’s desire for bestowal, and I am willing and ready to take it all in through annulling myself before them.

When I attach myself to the group, my Aviut, which is the strength of my will to bestow, begins to grow and cause unpleasant sensations in me: disappointment, growth of egoism, and burdening of the heart. But I must go even deeper in, like a leech, clinging to the group which is the “wall of the womb.”

Then, between us, the first connection will appear, not through a point, but through the tube through which “blood” will start flowing into me. This connection, so far, is on the inanimate level (“Dam”- blood, from “Domem” – inanimate), but I will have already received spiritual sustenance from the Upper One.

All of this takes place through my connection with the group. There is no other “wall” through which I can enter the spiritual world!

From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/24/10, Article “Preface to the Sulam Commentary”

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A question I received: What is bestowal for the sake of bestowal?

My answer: Bestowal for the sake of bestowal is when I don’t feel pleasure as fulfillment of my personal desires but when I use it solely as fuel to fulfill the act of bestowal.

Question continued: How then does this fuel differ from pleasure if the only thing that exists is the will to receive (Kli) and its fulfillment (Light)?

Answer: If I am using the fuel solely to accomplish my work in fulfilling the other, then my own fulfillment is just fuel for me. If, however, I am going to use the fulfillment to please myself, it means that I am receiving pleasure. Ask yourself: “What is my vehicle working for? What underlies my actions? Who is the benefactor of my efforts?”

From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/24/10, Article “The Matter of Bestowal”

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A question I received: Can I receive an awareness of the necessity to love others from the group without a prayer and an inner crisis?

My Answer: You have to work in the group; you must oblige it to influence you. How can you oblige them? Buy them! As it is written: “Buy yourself a friend.”

You must invest yourself in the group in order to persuade the friends to have an impact on you. You need to annul your ego in regard to them because only the lower one receives from the greater.

Work in the group:

1. Influence your friends. Where you are greater than them, give them everything they want, as if you are bigger and able to bestow (like the greater bestows to the lower one) .

2. In the measure that you are lower, you must receive an awareness of the importance of the purpose of creation from them. You must annul yourself and receive from them.

You should say to the friends: “Whatever and in whatever quantity of it you desire, I bestow it to you, so that I can receive the awareness of the importance of bestowal and love from you. Only this I need from you. I have everything else, but this I cannot get anywhere else except from the group.”

Yet, I do not receive love and bestowal from them; from them I feel the sensation of a lack of it and the desire for it. Later, the Light arrives and brings me love and the quality of bestowal. I receive the desire for the quality of love and bestowal from the group; the Light that Reforms brings correction and replaces the sensation of lack.

From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/23/10, Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot

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The Upper One is in a constant state of perfection, it needs nothing but bestowal. It is not something that senses or changes its mood. Rather, it is a system, an unchanging law that has been set in place. To the extent that you align yourself with this law, it influences you positively.

But if you don’t abide by it, if you are not similar to it, it acts upon you negatively. Our initial and ultimate states in creation are predetermined, and they have to become completely realized regardless of whether you are going along with or resist it, understand it or not.

The lower one (you) has only one good opportunity: to participate in this process consciously and pass the desire for it to the Upper One. This desire is what we need to reach; we need nothing but the desire! We also need to know how to “raise” this desire in order to pass it to the Upper One. The Upper One is in a state of perfection; it is always ready to give everything required to the lower one.

The lower one is a collection of all the souls, while the Upper One is one: one Light, one Thought of Creation, or one Force. If the lower one wishes to resemble the Upper One (meaning it is willing to unite and become as one), it is able to raise its desire to the Upper One. The Upper One hears no other requests but this one. This is what is called a prayer, MAN, that is, a desire to become a single whole.

From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/23/10, “Preface to the Sulam Commentary”

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Let us remind each other of and get inspired by the greatness of the spiritual goal and the environment that aspires to it; let us appreciate the unique opportunity for free choice that we have been presented with. How many people in the world can act freely? If everybody is blindly following the commands of their nature, then nobody truly “acts.” If I’m completely governed from Above, then “I” don’t exist, as it is said, “I came and there is no one.”

There are billions of people in the world, but they don’t exist, as it were, since none of them are free in their actions. Without a person with free will there are no worlds; there is nothing but the World of Infinity. With regards to the Creator, nothing else exists. Only a person who carries out a free action does. Imagine this picture of the world: total emptiness. Only a few desires that arose and are capable of performing free actions protrude into it.

You, too, have an opportunity to acquire freedom and become Human. May we recognize the greatness of this unique opportunity.

From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/23/10, Introduction to the Study of the Ten Sefirot

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A question I received: You spoke repeatedly about our tendency to run away from spirituality long before actually nearing it. In other words, our egoism pulls us away from the spiritual state by taking certain steps back. How can we avoid erring and go against the ego?

My Answer: You need to prepare yourself ahead of time. When it is already happening, nothing helps. The ego tricks and entices you anyway. You need to secure yourself beforehand, constantly. It is similar to a mountain climber that is tied onto one person and that person is linked to another person, and so on. This mutual interconnection is essential.

On our path, a person can lose his grip at any second. Without this link to the others, he falls into a chasm and then needs to climb back up. A whole life can be wasted on this. This is why one may fail to reach spirituality or advance through the spiritual 125 degrees within his lifetime.

Everything is arranged in a very precise, logical, and proper manner. It is nature’s law. There is no pampering from the Creator’s side, where He says "Oh, you are so small, I love you, I will do everything for you…" No, this doesn’t exist. The force of bestowal and the force of reception are in opposition to each other. One needs to find the right interconnection between them and act precisely. This is a law.

It is not like our world, where we adjust somehow and create unnatural conditions for ourselves. There is no mercifulness in nature according to our understanding of this term. Our understanding of mercifulness is receiving what we don’t deserve. However, this is inaccurate. Why should it be so? Is it because you’re so beautiful?

Therefore, if we understood nature’s essence and how we should behave with regard to it, we would truly succeed. We would justify the Creator’s actions instead of expecting mercy. We should study nature’s laws and carry them out precisely within ourselves. Then there will be no problems. We will see how perfect and eternal it is and that we will become like it.

Question (continued): So what is the solution? How can one prepare himself ahead of time?

My Answer: Only by being connected to others. This condition has been assigned to us. Only the state of a mutual guarantee can help. It is just like mountain climbers. Only you and I together can reach the goal. In other words, I need to think about you and myself equally. I need to worry about each of your actions just like I do about my own.

Question (continued): With mountain climbers, it is obvious: if someone falls, it’s possible to actually see it. But here, it is different. You return to the tastefulness of this world all the time, and it makes you happy.

My Answer: This also falls under the same program of a mutual guarantee, a mutual realization that we advance in this state and need to hold each other. We need to realize this.

A person should be concerned with what happens to others because otherwise he will not reach the goal. Then, under the influence of the Upper Light, you acquire such a sensation with regard to them that they become more important than you. Just like in our world, when you begin to care for someone else’s child, this child becomes important to you and you begin to love him. This is the influence of the Upper Light.

Try it, and you’ll see.

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