Only a person that can rise above his egoistic desire attains the sensation of fear. He sees that he is unable to ascend, yet he definitely has to because the spiritual space, the realm of the Creator, perfection, is located precisely above his will to enjoy. Then he is seized by fear: Will he be able to receive help in order to ascend above himself?

This fear can be egoistic, when I am worried about whether or not I will receive the spiritual fulfillment. This kind of fear is also useful: Even though I am thinking about myself (which is called Lo Lishma), at least I am thinking about the spiritual goal, the quality of bestowal (Lishma). It’s just that for the time being I interpret it as something that will provide me with personal benefit.

However, later on we reach “perfect fear,” when we understand that the results of acquiring the quality of bestowal must also be beneficial to everyone, and through benefiting the society, they will be beneficial to the Creator. All of this is done to a person by the upper Light, and therefore this entire process is called “Torah.”

On this path we always meet “an ugly man” who lives inside of us and doesn’t want anything besides personal benefit. He always tries to twist everything in a way that makes him be above others so he can assert his own power and pride. But if I am able to stand up to this freak, even though I fear this quality inside of me, and if I can avoid killing him, and even be able to recognize him and thank him for revealing my own evil to me, then I will develop the right kind of fear that will help me acquire the desire, vessel, or Kli for revealing the Creator.

Gradually all of the concepts will take on the right definitions and I will start to realize that spirituality is above my egoistic desire. I will understand that I will be able to reveal the Creator, perfection, bestowal, love for the neighbor, and the spiritual world only once I can rise above my “self.”

Therefore, everything is based on the force of fear and worry: Am I inside of my egoism without even noticing it, or did I really ascend above it already? And once we do ascend, there are many degrees of ascending above one’s desire, which we gradually discern.

At every level I think that I have already ascended above my egoism, in which case I rejoice and thank the Creator for what He has done to me. After that, I see that that’s not so: This was also my egoism, but it was just hiding from me. And then I have to rise above it as well.

At the beginning of the next level I rejoice immensely once again because I have finally succeeded in rising above my ego and now I am entirely aimed at bestowal. But then I again gradually reveal that this is still not the end and there are still egoistic calculations left inside of me. And then I hate my state all over again and demand a greater ascent, and this process continues until the end of correction (Gmar Tikkun).

It is written, “What is garbage for the upper one is food for the lower one.” That is how we continuously ascend up the levels by virtue of the Light that reforms. This Light is called Torah. It reveals fear (Iraa) in a person. And inside of that Light a person can see (Ireh) the Creator, the quality of bestowal that rules above everything, as well as the creation’s all-enveloping will to enjoy.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/5/11, Shamati

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When a person already understands that he has to ask the Light to make the changes, the entire difficulty lies in imagining what changes to ask for. That is why he is led through various states in order to understand what “his own good” means according to his egoistic desire, for the sake of a pleasant mood and fulfillment.

But precisely above all of these calculations, he has to desire to act in the opposite way, preferring for egoism to suffer for the sake of rising above it, and there to build a relationship with the Light, the Creator, “for the sake of bestowal.” All the situations he had to go through were necessary in order to help him establish this relationship with the Light. Then he understands that even though everything comes from the Light and the desire does not awaken, does not change, and overall does not exist without its influence and support, still the desire has an ability to awaken the Light. This action is called “awakening from below.”

It is possible only on the condition that the desire precisely understands itself and its entire egoistic nature. It has to ask for its opposite transformation so the Light would give it a new force, enabling him to rise above himself, to step on his own desire, to squash it and freeze it, and to build the act of bestowal above it. If we will be able to ask for this, this will be called “an awakening from below.

When we receive an addition from the Light, called “awakening from below’ (Itaruta de Leila), then according to our request the Light will give us the ability to rise above our ego and act contrary to our egoistic desire. That is how a person begins building his spiritual vessel (Kli).

A new desire is continually awakened in him, burning within and not letting him rest, demanding to be fulfilled egoistically on account of the neighbor. Nevertheless, he begins to recognize the true attitude to his desire, that he has to lock it up and not let it break through in order to build a screen and the intention for the sake of bestowal above it, enabling him to use the same desire in the opposite form.

When he sees that he is completely incapable of this and only the Creator can help him, he reaches a request called “an awakening from below, “ a MAN. And if he asks correctly then he receives an answer from above—a MAD, and then he unites in a mutual action with the Light.

From then on a person already has experience in building a relationships between himself and the Creator.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/3/11, Shamati

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Writings of Baal HaSulam, Letter 19: A person is not ready for adhesion with the Creator all at once, but gradually, as it is written, “Goodness and mercy shall follow me.” That is why he creates yearnings, which are the beginning of adhesion, as it is written, “a righteous who suffers.” He suffers because the Creator does not desire adhesion with him. That is why the person feels yearning and sorrow without love, which is necessary for adhesion. He feels suffering which will turn into the delight of adhesion.

Question: How can we aspire to a connection with the Creator in states of suffering that He sends us?

Answer: The Creator does not send us suffering. Only goodness comes from Him, but in my egoism, I feel His kind attitude in the opposite way, meaning that I experience suffering. But this is exactly the “awakening” that is necessary for attaining the goal, for changing my egoism to bestowal. Then suffering turns into pleasure.

Nothing changes besides my attitude to the world, as it is written, “You will eat what is old.” You have changed yourself and your attitude to what happens. You have ascended above your will to enjoy, and therefore, instead of suffering you experience pleasure.

You used to aspire to imaginary sources of fulfillment, but now your aspiration for the Creator, your sorrow and suffering turn into fulfillment because you don’t want anything but this. You only want to desire Him, and this already fulfills you.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/1/11, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Our desire is starting to take on the right form. We desire to unite, to reveal a pull toward unity inside every person despite egoism. This is very important: In spite of my egoism, I make efforts to internally aspire and come closer to the friends, to keep them all in a tight connection like people who are close to me in spirit and aim.

The most important thing now is for me to be able to trust them: If we are united, then they will ensure that I will not forget about our path and will only become stronger in the common consolidation.

I aspire to unite with the friends and I hope that this aspiration will enable me to receive an unquenchable desire for unity from them. This is all we need. From the very beginning and until the end of correction, this is the only thing required from us.

This is why it is written that love for the neighbor as for yourself is the concluding, summarizing rule of the entire Torah. There is nothing more than that, and we must aim our path only in this direction. It doesn’t matter how much this turns us off. If we want to carry out the program of creation by an accelerated scenario, then there is just one opportunity: to start from the opposite, most hateful and repulsive state, and from there to take steps toward love for the neighbor.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/21/11, Writings of Rabash

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Over the course of the entire spiritual path, our rod constantly turns into a snake and then becomes a rod again that supports us on the spiritual path. That is to say, we either walk below reason, in reason, or by faith above reason.

When you ascend again after you had fallen and started judging what is good for you with your mind, you have to beware for the return to faith above reason to not be an egoistic decision which the mind obligates you to make. Otherwise it will turn out that you are walking by faith below reason instead of above it, and that your faith, which is inside reason, descends even lower.

This is a very fine and acute discernment which jabs our heart. We have to be able to look truth into the eyes so the Creator won’t be able to trick us and force us to fall. After all, we have to catch this “snake” by the tail and pick it up from the ground so it would turn into a rod again, instead of falling under the burden of these states, under the weight of this snake.

It takes time for a person to form these concepts inside and to begin to understand whether he is in this work or not, whether he makes these discernments. Work with the “rod and the snake” is already work with your egoism when a person is between these two forces that influence him—Pharaoh and the Creator.

Everything depends on what he does with his rod—will he drop it on the ground or pick it up? By doing the latter he will build his own spiritual vessel (Kli), his “self.”

This does not simply mean being a good psychologist or knowing how to seemingly come out of yourself or look at yourself from aside in order to check what is going on. These are purely psychological tricks, but not inner spiritual work.

We are talking about discernments that take place in a person who has already established some kind of attitude to the Creator and to himself. From these two points he begins to build Pharaoh and the Creator, and himself in the middle.

Then he can wrestle with love for himself, which aspires so strongly to sweep him away, and by virtue of this hatred for this egoistic quality, he can ascend above his egoism.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/13/11, Shamati

Related Material:
Turning A Snake Into A Staff
Pharoah’s Troubles
What Is That In Your Hands: A Rod Or A Serpent?

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Shamati #59, “About the Rod and the Serpent”: “And Moses answered and said: ‘But, behold, they will not believe me,’” etc. “And the Lord said unto him: ‘What is that in thy hand?’ And he said: ‘A rod.’ And He said: ‘Cast it on the ground…’ and it became a serpent; and Moses fled from before it” (Exodus 4).

We must understand that there are not more than two degrees, either Kedusha (Sanctity) or Sitra Achra (Other Side). There is no intermediary state, but the same rod itself becomes a serpent, if thrown to the ground.

…This is the meaning of the question, “What is that in thy hand?” A hand means attainment, from the words, “and if a hand attains.” A rod (Mateh in Hebrew) means that all one’s attainments are built on the discernment of inferior importance [Mata in Hebrew], which is faith above reason. This is because faith is regarded as having inferior importance, and as lowness….

There is one very fine discernment that is made constantly and that a person has to make in order advance by the path of the soul’s correction. It is called “the rod and the serpent.” You can check yourself this way: If I have a strong desire to do something and it’s clear that it is for my own sake, and I realize that this is how my egoism is expressed, which is blazing inside of me, then the same moment I understand this, I have to try to rise above this.

Even though I have a big inner desire to judge my friend in order to decide whether I should come closer to him or move farther away, yet above all of this I have to make an effort and raise my entire hatred, repulsion, disappointment and expectations of others—the friends, the teacher, and the Creator, and advance by faith above reason.

I must instead understand that precisely the conditions that I have been given are the “rod” that I have to pick up and take into my hands. Then it will become a symbol of my faith and will help me to advance.

However, if I throw the rod on the ground according to my desire (“earth” – Aretz, is “desire” – Ratzon), then it turns into a serpent.

I have to make this discernment in order to feel these two points inside of me, which are constantly present and contradict one another. My ego is blazing and wants to judge everyone—the friends, the teacher, and the Creator. And its complaints and anger are completely justified. It is sincerely indignant inside against all of them. But above this, I work on loving them, justifying them, and giving to them from my entire open heart by faith above reason.

When I feel these two points together, that means I correctly balance myself in my current state. These points are what make up my path toward the goal of creation.

On this path I will see that I am continuously overtaken by new calculations and criticism, new disagreements between myself and the environment, and this happens in order to make me think once again that I am right and they are wrong. This work begins right away, as soon as the group gets organized.

Either people will advance by faith above reason, or they will drown in these disagreements and will walk together with the snake, throwing their rod onto the ground, meaning, instead of faith above knowledge on the path they will go by faith inside knowledge or below it. Then the only thing left to do will be to wait for them to wake up, and that might take a very long amount of time—in fact, no one knows when that might happen.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/13/11, Shamati

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Question: When a person tries to come out of Egypt, meaning self-love, he receives blows which he can overcome only by asking the Creator for help. But besides that there is also the material, earthly egoism which receives blows at its level, such as problems with one’s family, health, income, and so on. How should we relate to these problems?

Answer: No matter what kind of problem emerges in my life, first and foremost I must see it as a disturbance that came from the Creator. Even if I am in pain, I must still rise above that disturbance through faith above reason. Despite it all, I know that I have to make calculations above the disturbance and not under its weight. I must stay in touch with its “sender,” the Creator.

As for responsible actions, in the realm of this world I have to resolve all the problems by the commonly accepted methods. When it comes to the bank, work, family, and health, I have to take care of everything just like any person in our world.

Thus, you build up a two-sided attitude to the problems:

– First of all, they come from the Creator and you are dealing only with Him. You want to have these disturbances because they give you the opportunity to rise above knowledge and stay in touch with the Creator. Then you are correctly treating the disturbances and you even begin to love and respect them. After all, no matter how much they bother you, no matter how much salt they put on your wounds, and no matter how nerve-wracking they are, this is exactly what helps you rise above them.

– Secondly, you resolve the incoming problems the way it’s customary in the material world.

Both of these dimensions must be present in your attitude. You attribute the problems to the Creator, and at the same time you want to work with them. We do not throw Pharaoh out of our lives, but we enjoy his troubles. After all, only through them can we reject him and separate from him, and thus ascend higher and higher.

Pharaoh is my most precious flesh, my core, my most sensitive point, my child, the most important and finest string inside of me.

Question: But Pharaoh resists the unity of friends. What do the material troubles have to do with it?

Answer: They also distract you from the inner work. It’s not accidental that so many Kabbalists experienced material problems. The Creator deliberately caused them to be sick and despised by the people around them. It was in order to give them a place where they could overcome.

At the end of the day, all of this is a result of the hardening of Pharaoh’s heart. The desire gradually becomes revealed inside of you and in conformity to it you experience various problems, both in others and in yourself.

Question: Do I have to ask for help in these cases? After all, the Creator helps us in only one respect—unification.

Answer: That’s right, and the problems obstruct you from doing this. When you are sick, it’s difficult for you to focus on love for friends. Most likely, you forget all about it. And that means you have to ask for help. There is none else besides Him. Everything comes from the Creator, but it happens through different channels.

You have to attain the goal, but your body, your “little donkey” is sick and cannot carry you. So what should you do? Leave him to die? But you need him on the path.

Why do you perceive this world separately from the spiritual work? Even small disturbances can be helpful if you work with them correctly. No matter what happens to us, it’s important to remember that this comes from a single Source, until we really come to feel that we are in spiritual exile.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/13/11, Shamati

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Question: Why is the path to love so difficult and confusing?

Answer: It’s us who are confused.

I am ruled by the egoistic desire and everything I feel and think is only inside of it, for the sake of my own benefit. So how can I make a different calculation—not for my own sake?

Imagine that you “dress” into someone else and begin making a calculation from his perspective. It was a mere 100 years ago that people began to grasp such concepts. It’s not an accident that this period was epitomized by Freud and Einstein, who not only made seminal discoveries, but also had friendly connections with each other.

After hundreds of thousands of years of development, it was a mere century ago that the greatest minds of humanity finally invented psychoanalysis—or in other words, began to analyze man internally on the material level. Only then did they begin to research human perception, “Me and the surrounding world, me and the neighbor.”

This is not simple. It took a very long period of time to approach man’s animate soul, and that’s not even close to spirituality. The entire problem is that we cannot and do not want to dress into others. Society has to ensure that every person will do this, that every person will try to do it and start discerning how he appears in the eyes of the neighbor and what the neighbor wants.

This is very difficult even though it only involves psychological exercises in the plane of our world, which don’t even relate to spirituality yet. Do you want more? Go ahead. Organize an environment that will finally begin to influence you.

The path is long precisely because no one influences you. There is no progress without social influence. Where could a person get the spiritual details of perception? Only from the environment.
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From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/13/11, Shamati

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Writings of Rabash, “The First Innovation”: All the innovations begin only after a person comes out of self-love. Therefore, the Torah cannot be taught to idolaters. When a person is in Egypt, he cannot be Jewish because he is enslaved to Pharaoh, the Egyptian king. And as long as he is a slave to Pharaoh, he cannot be a slave to the Creator.

It is written concerning this, “The sons of Israel are for Me,” they are My slaves and not slaves of slaves. When a person serves himself, he cannot be the Creator’s slave because it is impossible to serve two kings at the same time. Only after a person comes out of Egypt, meaning egoism, can he be the Creator’s servant. And then he can receive the Torah. It follows that the first innovation is the exit from Egypt.

A person who is inside of his egoistic desire is called a “non-Jew.” A person who rises above his egoistic desire, meaning who comes out of Egypt, is called a “Jew” (Yehudi) because he attains unity (Ihud) with the Light, the Creator.

It is possible to study the Torah, meaning the ways of bestowal, only by ascending, by coming out of Egypt. That is why it is written that the Torah cannot be taught to idolaters, where “cannot” means “it is impossible.” That’s because as long as you remain in the egoistic desire, you do not understand anything about spirituality and you don’t have the smallest chance of reaching it. In your desires and thoughts you cannot grab hold of the end of any thread that extends from the spiritual world.

You need auxiliary means, and only by correctly using them will you attain what you desire. Therefore, all the innovations and spiritual changes are possible only after coming out of Egypt, meaning egoism. Until then, it is impossible to understand anything. Until then, we are in total darkness and can only advance with our eyes closed according to the Kabbalists’ advice.

This is all that remains for us—to understand how opposite our world is to the spiritual world. In order to climb out of the darkness to the Light, it won’t help us to turn 180 degrees around. That’s because our darkness is the darkness of Egypt, which does not have a direction toward the Light. Only gradually, by means of making the right actions do we reach the right desire. Even though it is also egoistic, yet by virtue of the Light’s influence we can then come out of Egypt into the altruistic intention of Lishma.

This is talking about states that are absolutely divided from one another. A person who is in the lower world, meaning in the egoistic state, in the intention “for the sake of reception” is unable to understand the plans and actions of those who are moved by bestowal. One does not have any contact with the other. They are completely different programs that do not intersect with one another in any way.

In relation to the spiritual world, our world does not exist. It is expressed only in a person’s imagination as a preliminary, imaginary reality that is necessary for entering the spiritual reality, which is the only one that exists. Everything we see and imagine here is similar to the visions of a person who lies unconscious.

Therefore, all the innovations, attainments, and true calculations begin with the exit from Egypt.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/12/11, Writings of Rabash

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People view Passover as the holiday of the historical exodus from Egypt. “We used to be slaves and we built several cities and pyramids for Pharaoh, and then we came out to freedom.” However, in realty we are not celebrating a date in the historical calendar. After all, the situation today is much worse than back then. It’s enough to compare the situation of the nation of Israel in Ancient Egypt with the current situation and you would be running back to kiss Pharaoh’s hands, begging him to let you back.

The Jews lived in the land of Goshen, which was the most favorable part of Egypt with the most fertile soil and abundant herds. You could do whatever you want because Pharaoh doesn’t just rule there but he protects you as well. No one can touch a hair on your head, your vats are full of meat, your nets—full of fish, and your storehouses are full of produce. You are a slave only because you have to listen to Pharaoh. This means: Act by the orders of your egoism, and nothing more than that.

The Jews had a wonderful life, so it wasn’t incidental that they complained to Moses in the desert, “Where are the meat and fish, where is the onion and garlic that we ate in Egypt!? Our lives were great, and where have you brought us now?”

So what do we remind ourselves of on this holiday? Were we surrounded by enemies back then the way we are today? On the contrary, we had all the favors at our disposal and Pharaoh’s power protected us from enemies. In his country he allowed us to live however we wanted, even on separate territory and by our own laws. So what’s so bad about that compared to the current situation?

As Baal HaSulam writes, if the Jews today could disperse all over the countries of the Diaspora, then almost no one would be left in Israel. We have to understand: Egypt becomes a dungeon only when you start to think about spiritual exile, when you lack the Creator. If not for the need for spiritual redemption, Egypt by itself is a land flowing with milk and honey. Here you have everything besides the Creator, besides the answer to the question about the meaning of life. You have everything else in abundance. You are living the life of a king and you lack just one thing, “I want bestowal and love for the neighbor.”

When you desire precisely this, then Egypt will seem like exile to you. This is the only thing missing here—love for the neighbor. Thus, it turns out that we celebrate Passover to commemorate the good life in Egypt and not the redemption, which no one really needs. After all, coming out of Egypt means throwing away everything we have besides love.

Do we feel that we are in exile? On the contrary, people do not understand what this is talking about. But love for the neighbor has to become your only desire. Moses demands from Pharaoh, “Let my people go! I want to leave!” To which Pharaoh replies, “What do you lack, Moses? You grew up in my arms. Stay the Egyptian prince. Be a prince! Why are you making a revolution here? For the sake of love for the neighbor? You’ve gone crazy!”

Only at the end of the path does Egypt become a land of exile for us. But until that happens, we are satiated with everything besides bestowal.

It turns out that we celebrate this holiday to honor the fact that we once lacked love for the neighbor. If only it were possible to really explain this to the people and to show them the true situation today. Today are we willing to forgo anything in our rich lives for the sake of love for the Creator, for the neighbor, for friends, for the sake of mutual bestowal and mutual empathy? Are we close to this? Do we deserve to celebrate the holiday of redemption?

This is talking about freedom from egoism, when egoism has everything, yet I want to run away from this. I hate this abundance and I don’t desire it. I don’t need the filling food, nor the safety, nor the comfort, nor the health—nothing. I am ready to drown in the waters of the Marginal Sea or to dry up from thirst in the desert—anything to break out of the bonds.

So do we really want to get out to freedom?
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/13/11, Writings of Rabash

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