Entries in the 'Children' Category

True Education Is Teaching Children To Value Truth Over Sweetness

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: How do you raise a child through reward and punishment?

Answer: We don’t have any other means. That’s how the Creator treats us. We must learn from Him and treat children as He treats us. That’s the only thing we can do – learn how to rear children from the Creator’s attitude toward us.

We should study the way He controls us, the way He plays with us, pretending to mislead us, though in reality He misleads our ego. We will then begin to understand that He misleads our ego wisely, in order to show us how to become like Him.

He constantly increases our reward and its quality. He doesn’t just give us sweets, but changes the ways of encouraging us so we’ll advance and shift from the value system of “sweet vs. bitter” to the value system of “true vs. false.” In fact, Adam HaRishon fell when he confused the “true-false” and the “sweet-bitter” evaluations.

Therefore, when we rear children, we too must help them to gradually understand that they shouldn’t be making efforts just to receive sweets, but to constantly raise the value of “the truth.” This is the most important thing, in spite of the bitterness they will feel as they replace the “sweet” with the “truth.” This is what true education is!

In order to do this, we have to give them examples, invent games, and provide the support of the society. All of this must be a part of the education system. There is nothing more important than this. In fact, the only problem in the entire world is the problem of education. If we manage to educate just one generation that will understand the Upper Governance and will react towards this governance correctly, then we won’t need to do anything else, because the purpose of our life is to establish a connection with the Upper Force.

Everything comes from this force, and hence the only relationship one must establish is one’s relationship with the Upper Force. One must clearly reveal it so he will actually see it, be in dialogue with it, interact with it, and have a clear connection with it. This is the only thing every person needs and this is why we need the wisdom of Kabbalah – the Creator’s revelation to his creation.

We must reveal Him now, while living in this world, as otherwise we won’t know how to live, how to rear our children and how to raise the next generation. These are all things that are necessary for us, and this is why the wisdom of Kabbalah is being revealed now: because we desperately need it.
(From the lesson on Baal HaSulam’s article, “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose,” on 02.17.2009)

Women’s Growing Egoism Makes Children Suffer

Dr. Michael LaitmanIn the News (from BBC): Unhappy children are more likely to grow up to become adults who are permanently sick or disabled, a UK study has suggested.

Question: Almost all children who require a psychiatric evaluation exhibit the same trait: lack of maternal warmth and care. In your opinion, do mothers really care less about their children or is it that the modern-day children are not satisfied with the same care and attention that were sufficient for previous generations?

Answer: In our time, women’s egoism surpasses their maternal instinct.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: Horrible Manifestations of the Ever-Growing Egoism

Children Develop By Imitating Adults

Dr. Michael LaitmanA question I received on how to raise children:

Question: When my three year old son sees me doing something, he immediately wants to join me and do the same thing. Sometimes this bothers me; I want him to go play on his own while I finish working or doing something at home. My wife says it’s important for my son to do these things with me, and I feel that she’s right, but I cannot convince myself of this.

Answer: This is very important because it creates a connection between you, teaches your son and develops him. Actually, this is the only way that a person can develop – by imitating others.

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How Should Children React To Violence?


Two questions I received on setting boundaries for children:

Question: When my son is bullied and hit by other kids in kindergarten, should he fight back? If I don’t let him, then the bullying will continue, plus he will lose self-confidence, become depressed, feel that injustice is being committed against him, and will hate the kids who abuse him. He will become dependent and learn to tattle-tale to his teacher and mother.

My Answer: Of course, the best thing, and the goal, is for the children to have friendly relationships with each other. But until that happens, he has to fight back! The two don’t contradict each other.

He has to fight back as an equal, but the kids should receive an explanation that it’s best to play nice. This explanation is the teacher’s job.

Question: You say that we shouldn’t punish children as if they were animals. On the other hand, I have heard you say that in certain cases it’s ok to give your kid a spank. What do you do in a situation when talking to my child, explaining things to him, doesn’t help? How firm should parents be? Where’s the boundary?

My Answer: That’s a very broad question! We have specialists on Kabbalistic education and you should write to them.

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Relationships: “Upbringing”

Kabbalah For Kids

Dr. Michael LaitmanA baby starts learning about the world the moment it’s born. One’s purpose for coming into this world is to attain the Upper World, to live in both worlds – physical and spiritual. One then gains control over himself and his life, and sees everything from an infinite perspective. Children can use games, songs, and lessons to reveal the Creator and the vast Upper World.

This is what our children did at the 2009 International Kabbalah Congress

How To Help Your Child Develop Spiritually

A question I received: I watch the children’s lessons with my baby, play him Kabbalistic music and read your children’s books and stories to him. I try to teach him as I learn. How can a mother perceive when the first spiritual Reshimo surfaces in her children? And how can we connect to our children on the spiritual level?

My Answer: Continue showing your child the children’s lessons and studying the materials on our children’s website. The rest is no longer up to you.

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How To Help The Vulnerable Young Generation


News Report (from ITN): “Life meaningless for young adults” A survey of 16 to 25-year-olds by the Prince’s Trust found that one in 10 young people believed life was not worth living or was meaningless. The poll of over 2,000 showed that more than a quarter felt depressed. Almost half said they were regularly stressed and many did not have anything to look forward to. The trust, which aims to help vulnerable young people, said its study revealed an increasingly vulnerable generation.

My Comment: Indeed, this is true. However, we shouldn’t see the state of our generation as a fact, but as a result of a grown egoism. It follows from this that the enormous egoism will force us to find a fulfillment worthy of it, as otherwise, if it remains empty, it simply “won’t let us be.”

Only the revelation of the goal of all that exists, the goal for which this egoism is growing and why it has become so horrible, and the attainment of this goal – only this will be able to comfort and fulfill us. The fulfillment will give us the strength to live, to correct this egoism, and to prosper by using it for the benefit of others in the global system of humanity.

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From Chaos to Harmony: Chapter 2: “The Boundaries of Joy. Fooling the Desire to Enjoy“

New Spanish Blog For Children


In every Latin American country, there are groups and individuals who study Kabbalah and work together with us on its development and dissemination. The largest and strongest group of our friends is situated in Chile. Ingrid Solyar from the Chile group has created this friendly, colorful blog for children.

Being President Is an Unpopular Profession


News Report (translated from Washigton ProFile): American children do not want to become President. The Boys & Girls Clubs of America published results of a survey that asked American children whether they would want to be the President. 67% responded that they would not want to be the President of the USA. The young Americans said that the most important qualities for the President to have are a good personality, high moral standards, an ability to inspire people, education, and a history of being a successful leader in the national arena. Results of surveys published by Newsweek and Gallup show that the children’s views are very different from the adults’.

My Comment: The young generation’s egoism has outgrown all conventions. People do not want to put on a show all the time. To be President means to be under constant pressure and to always try to have everyone like you. This is a feeling of being absolutely controlled and dependent; it’s a non-stop theater where you have the most difficult part!

Today’s egoism makes people want to take care of themselves and their personal fulfillment, to throw aside all the conventions and strive for individual fulfillment. Otherwise one’s egoism will feel unfulfilled (depressed) and will be ready to suppress itself (through drugs), or even to annul itself (through suicide).

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The Meaning of Prayer and Blessings


During the international children’s lesson that was held on 10.10.2008, we talked about prayer. Prayer is the most secret, concealed desire in one’s heart. It hides so deep down in our hearts that we don’t even feel it. But precisely this desire has a connection with the Creator, or we can say that the Creator dwells inside this desire.

In order to reveal the Creator, we must reveal this desire for Him. But how can we influence this desire? A person cannot reach it himself, but only through the environment (the group). He evokes all sorts of influences from the environment, which make his desire for the Creator, for love and bestowal, grow. In fact, these influences have a direct effect on one’s heart.

In this manner, through the group, one can evoke such a great desire for love and bestowal in his heart that it will become similar to the Creator in the minimum degree, and then he will immediately sense the Creator within it. This is the meaning and purpose of prayer – to gradually reveal the Creator in one’s heart!

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During the following international children’s lesson, held on 10.17.2008, we talked about blessings.
A blessing is a sensation of gratitude that involuntarily appears in one’s heart. It is gratitude for the corrections that take place within a person under the influence of the Creator’s Light:

“Blessed are you, Ruler of the world… Who opens eyes to see the Upper World… Who spreads the earth (the desire to receive) upon the waters (the desire to bestow)… Who gives the heart the understanding to distinguish day (the Upper Light, the quality of bestowal) from night (egoism)… Who clothes the naked (with the Light of Hassadim, in which the Light of Hochma is revealed)… and so on.