Answer: I discover the Creator as the source of evil and at the same time I understand that I see Him that way because of my bad qualities. So, I understand that it all depends precisely on my attributes.
There are three things before me: the Creator, my evil, and desire. Can I think about the Creator as the good and the benevolent? After all, I feel bad and see troubles and darkness. Still I determine that the good is Above and the evil is inside me. The reason is that in the middle there is something that turns the good into evil.
I feel it in my bones that this is what happens. I am made of these three discernments, and they are in my feeling and my understanding. Such a state is called “double concealment.” In the spiritual space it is the furthest level from the Creator, and everything before it belongs to the beastly level.
It is important to remember that these things already exist in me: I feel the Creator as good and benevolent, I feel my own evil and I can’t get rid of this feeling, and I also understand the fact that I myself corrupt the Creator’s good attitude when I feel it as bad. If we annul this mechanism of turning the good to evil, if we correct it, I will certainly feel the goodness.
Then there is a question. What is the goal: to feel good or to not curse the Creator? From here on the clarification begins: Why was I given the bad feeling? What should I do with it? If I annul it, I will deny myself the option to be corrected. It is by being opposite from the Creator’s goodness that I can reach His good attitude in order not to curse Him.
This means that I use the evil on the way to goodness. Does that mean that now, when I feel bad, it is actually in my favor, and that it is actually what is good for me? So what am I correcting?
Question: Eventually I understand that I don’t correct anything, and what’s more I am very far from any correction.
Answer: True, you discover yourself more and more, and that’s very nice. This is already advancement.
Question: But at the same time I discover that I have no power to change anything.
Answer: This is the truth, this is already a revelation: You reveal that you cannot correct anything, that you are all evil, and that you are a “rag.” And this is great. Did you want to feel that you were a hero?
You discover the truth thanks to the upper Light and you should be thankful for that. This is how the addition of the Light reveals the evil in you. Then you go to the group in order to receive the power to discover your evil more qualitatively than before. First you felt bad and you blamed the Creator and wanted to get rid of this feeling. Then you acquire the mind of the group and realize that you shouldn’t get rid of the evil, but rather it should be turned into good.
You understand that in order to do that you need to change your attitude and not the feeling. It turns out that you have to work on your attitude towards the one who seems to be sending you the evil.
Then you aim your efforts at that “converter.” You work with the intention and the feelings change by themselves.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/17/12, “The Study of the Ten Sefirot”