Our attitude toward the ultimate goal, the desired state, is influenced by two factors. The first one is a sense of the greatness and importance of the Creator, the property of bestowal. The second one is the greatness and importance of the creature who is able to achieve this property. From these two factors, disturbances come, which we feel on the path of achieving the goal.
Sometimes, my egoistic desire says: “Who is this Creator that I should listen to Him,” showing me that there is no value in this goal, the property of bestowal. Thus, it helps me gain a foothold on the path because I will be able to demand the Light to help me and influence me. After all, all development at the human degree happens because of our request to the Light to affect us.
Thus, we build our own spiritual form. Indeed, all the previous forms: the still, vegetative, and animate do not belong to the spiritual human. These forces called angels, spirits, and devils are designed to help us. As in the physical world around us, there are forces of nature that ensure our existence. Similarly, in the spiritual world, there are forces that help our soul exist.
The first disturbance is directed against the greatness of the Creator, against his property of bestowal, and the second one is directed against my form of bestowal. Sometimes, it seems to me that the Creator is not important, but at other times, it seems to me that I am not.
To belittle the Creator is the task of Pharaoh who depicts Him for us as worthless and shouts: “I will rule myself! Why should I listen to him?” Thus, Pharaoh diminishes the greatness of the goal, the greatness of adhesion in the eyes of man.
There is work against the other disturbances when it seems to me that the Creator is great and important, but I can do nothing. The Creator is the righteous one, and I am a sinner. At this time, Pharaoh is leaving the stage, and his place is taken by other rulers living outside Egypt who go to war against man.
There are also the higher forces, angels in the hands of the Creator, like Pharaoh. However, they talk about the greatness of the goal and at the same time, about the person’s weakness. They are like the scouts who were sent to check the land of Israel and came back saying that the goal is great, the land is beautiful, and incredible fruits grow there, but who are you to conquer it? Come to your senses, this is not for you!
A person begins to eat himself up because these forces show him how low and insignificant he is and how many crimes he has committed. Then, he either sinks into his past and starts digging in it, or he remains in the present and loses all his strength, unable to move a finger. He cannot force himself to come to the group and participate in some way. That is how these disturbances work.
We should understand that these limitations mold out of us the human form, a giver. It is like a statue where one master takes a piece of marble and carves a sculpture out of it, and the other cuts everything unnecessary out of this piece until the desired form remains.
Likewise, we should look from both sides. From one side, we should look at the complete form, and from the other, we should learn what is missing. Sometimes, we should work with the Inner Light and at other times, with the Surrounding Light, or with the inner and external desires. Thus, a person “carves” himself, his form that is similar to the Creator.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/16/2011, Writings of Rabash