Spiritual desire develops in such a way that its every previous stage continues to exist, and the next one is built on top of it. It does not happen like in our world where we can experience hunger in the same desires, receiving little or nothing at all in them and then becoming filled. Such fulfillment occurs on the same place that was empty previously.
However, in the spiritual world, we constantly develop desires for bestowal. Therefore, previous states of the desire to receive remain, and above them, even more unfulfilled desires in terms of receiving pleasure, the desires that are worse and more distant from the Creator, are built and revealed. We discover continuously greater uncertainty, fear, and lack of fulfillment.
And if a person can rise above all this and wish to bestow above it, this is called one’s spiritual growth. One is fulfilled by the Light of Hassadim (Mercy), bestowal. He experiences perfection in the desires in which he previously experienced complete lack of everything. And this perfection comes from the fact that precisely in these circumstances rather than comforting himself with fulfillment, he was able to aspire above them only to bestowal to the neighbor.
Therefore, we begin our path from the smallest possible state—from a point. And if we are able to conquer this point and not desire it anymore, we begin to receive various opportunities to fill it.
This point begins to widen, and continuously greater Light is revealed around it. And instead of striving to reach confidence, fulfillment, or comfort in these developing egoistic desires, we need to seek pleasure from adhering to the neighbor and bestowing to him above all these negative sensations that are revealed in our egoism.
We still don’t really understand how this is possible. However, when we realize that it is precisely what needs to be done, we begin to aspire to the Light that Reforms. We don’t do this in order to achieve rest, peacefulness, a sense of fulfillment, safety, or attainment. We only fill one vessel: the desire of the neighbor instead of our own.
I don’t wish to receive any benefit from fulfilling another human being to such an extent that I even reveal my hatred and rejection of him. He appears to me as a hated enemy that threatens me. And I make sure that this feeling and my attitude to him don’t fade. Instead, I reveal above it that I judge according to my own corruptness and see him this way with my spoiled eyes, while in reality he is not the problem since the Creator acts through him.
I see others this way because the problem is in me. Therefore, I even begin to treat a hated enemy as a close person. In this manner I work with faith above reason, revealing the Creator’s acts in all these occurrences, and due to this I grow from a point into a spiritual embryo and through all the further degrees.
Every next degree is revealed above the unpleasant sensations in my egoistic desires. And the key on this path is to limit oneself so that one does not demand pleasant consequences along the way for his desire to receive and seeks all pleasure above it—only in the neighbor’s sensations.
And the neighbor could be any person: from the kindest and dearest to the most horrible and hostile in regard to me. Regardless of all this, I constantly use this opportunity to limit my egoism.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/18/2011, Shamati #53