Inner work begins with our aspiration to come out of ourselves, to unity. And one’s exit from unity is measured by how much it contradicts our desire, according to the forces that obstruct and fight unity. But these forces of resistance are actually “help from the opposite” because they show a person where he still has to make efforts in order to correct himself.
That is how he gradually advances further and further. He tries to connect with the neighbor and bestow, and he continuosly receives repulsion, difficulties, burdening of the heart, and the realization of his error which enables him to correct his direction. As this repeats again and again, it gradually accumulates “penny by penny into one big sum” until finally, the “pay-off” arrives, meaning he really reveals the force of bestowal, the force of faith.
The most important part of this work is not to give up! After all, we start out on this path completely egoistically (Lo Lishma) and think only about how to win, and how to win big at that. We don’t connect it to other people at all and don’t feel who the “neighbor” is.
For now our actions are similar to a baby who has just been born and does not have the slightest idea of what he is doing. He does not even feel what others are doing to him. But with time, he gradually starts to feel, hear, and see some things, and to react in some way. That is how he grows! And we grow in spirituality in exactly the same way! We have to make efforts at every moment of our lives, like a child, with the difference being that a child is pushed to grow instinctively by nature.
In reality, a person is not required to do any more than he is able to. The most important is to try! And to desire bestowal at least slightly, in whatever way he is able. It’s clear that this aspiration is not for real bestowal, but that doesn’t matter! The most important is to desire, and the true desire will be born from these efforts. It’s similar to a child who wishes to become an adult, and by virtue of his efforts to become big, to understand and to feel, to do something, he grows.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/14/11, Shamati