Question: What’s the right attitude to have to the fear that I now experience when I go out to speak to people about Kabbalah?
Answer: This fear does not disappear until the very end of correction. If you read Psalms, you will be amazed to discover that even King David, who, at the highest spiritual levels, felt fear. Obviously, it’s not the same kind of fear that we feel, but the fear of whether or not you will be able to bestow, whether or not you will perform the action correctly. One has constant doubts about this.
Every spiritual degree begins with these fears and doubts. And the same thing is true for us: Everything begins with fear, repulsion, aversion, and apprehension. This is Malchut, which reveals the lack of everything within her. This is the degree of entering the state of bestowal for the sake of bestowal, Bina, Hafetz Hesed.
The state of bestowal for the sake of bestowal is not the state of a fearless hero. For now one is just rising above his ego, above all of the fears, and he can only bestow for the sake of bestowal. And it is possible to rise to this level of bestowal only from fear and apprehension, the feeling that you don’t have anything—no strength or understanding, but that doesn’t matter!
The most important is to rise above all of these fears and cleave to the upper one, and thus to attain the smallest, initial adhesion that is called the state of an “embryo,” three days of the seed’s absorption, above all of these unpleasant sensations.
This is a state of crisis, separation, and weakness which is in fact, worse than death. After all, death would provide some kind of escape, but here there is no escape. All you can do is leap upwards! This is not a simple state.
From the 5th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/16/11, “The Nation”