During the expansion of the Light from above downwards from Keter, to Hochma, and to Bina, a stop should have happened because Bina is already the quality of bestowal that does not need anything for itself. So how is it possible to develop any further?
That is when Bina feels the desire of the Creator that is in Keter, the desire to unite. Thus, Bina divides into GAR and ZAT, which feels a connection with Keter and therefore develops reception within itself in order to bestow to the lower ones. Otherwise further development would not take place.
In the same way, when we ascend upwards and attain Bina, first we acquire Galgalta Eynaim, the quality of bestowal for the sake of bestowal, Hafetz Hesed, which is called Mordechai. That is when we have to decide how to use our desire to enjoy. For us, this is ZAT de Bina, connected to our Malchut of the Reflected Light, the highest Sefira that attains Keter of the Direct Light.
This is the point where a decision has to be made. This makes the difference of how the desires of Haman are to be used—egoistically or for the sake of bestowal. If we begin to bestow egoistically, then we return back down. And if we choose bestowal, then we use the desires of Haman with the intention of Mordechai, meaning we receive for the sake of bestowal.
This is the “fatal point” of Purim. Pur means “lot” or “fate,” when we decide: What to do next? That is, we have to decide: In which direction will we incline? But this is impossible to understand for now. We do not see all of our qualities from aside, besides Mordechai. In all other directions besides him, only total darkness awaits us. This is the true point of a person’s choice and it is very thin. After all, how can I understand that bestowal for my own sake was not part of the Creator’s program?
That is why we have to reach the very end until we see that Haman buries all of the bestowal we have attained. Otherwise we won’t feel that this quality disappears. We have to feel that if we give power to Haman, then nothing will remain of our bestowal!
The same thing happens to us now as well. Sometimes we become so confused that we think that by making some sort of actions we will be able to reach the goal. We still don’t feel that this completely separates us from our foundation, from bestowal, and nothing remains here besides egoism, and all of our bestowal is also done for our own sake. Only if we verify this until the very end will we be able to decide that we have to annihilate Haman and come out of his power.
At first it seems that this was useful for our progress toward the goal, but now you reveal that everything is completely opposite and it can bury your entire advancement, goal, and your entire path. But you only discover this at the very end, when you are walking along together with egoism, Haman, and it slightly steals little portions from you, taking away everything you have, until you are left with nothing. That’s when you see that there is no choice: You have to run away from his rule.
We are yet to go through such suffering on this path where Haman can clothe into real people or just ideas….
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/20/11, Shamati