Spiritual Diagnosis – A Total Breaking

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: If all our work is to find the place of our breaking, what are we lacking then in order to do it?

Answer: You simply don’t want to reveal it! Why should you disclose your envy and hate? It is much easier and safer to remain apathetic.

A person feels that the friends, “the others,” simply don’t seem to exist. In Kabbalah, “the other” is a person whom I feel as being outside of me. I know that everybody is supposed to be within me if my perception of reality is correct, yet I feel them as outsiders in relation to me, someone who is distant and abhorrent. And it frightens me: Do I really hate the parts of my own soul this much?! That is exactly how the force of the breaking feels. I know that it is a lie, and I want to fix my distorted sight!

Try to attempt to see that all the friends are related to you. Even the whole world already sees how round and interconnected it is. But we don’t arrive at this conclusion from the external side due to the lack of choice. This is what the rest of the world does, by getting blows that point at people’s interconnectedness. Our path is internal and in this way, we gradually discover that all of us are one whole and are linked in an integral system.

Knowing all this, I look around and see people who are alien to me. I don’t feel what they are thinking about, what they desire. Moreover, I don’t even care about them; I am unable to keep focusing on them, let alone feel them. Not even one of them!

In other words, I realize that it is a total breaking: I am ill with a horrible disease. In fact, I see that I completely lost my sensitivity, my ability to feel all these parts that must become mine. I am disintegrating like a corpse. After all, death is when the life force leaves the body and it starts turning into dust. I feel as if I am losing my arms and legs. It throws me into a panic.

I can see and feel all of this in the organs of perception (Kelim) that evolve in me thanks to the study of Kabbalah and that in the future will become my properties of love and bestowal. But love starts with our revelation of hate towards the others, and we begin to hate it within ourselves.

And now I am living this hate, my inability to feel the other because I don’t care about him. And even worse than that, I measure my success by their failures. The worse they feel, the better I feel. What a perverted and distorted perception it is, and how blind I am that I think of the others in this way.

Rabash gives an example of a person who suddenly finds out that the child next door who annoyed him so much is in fact his son. It is possible to repair this picture only if you strive to see how everyone in the group is eager to correct this distortion together.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/13/2011, “The Essence of the Wisdom of Kabbalah”

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