I’m Lying, But Honestly

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: It is one thing to play something with someone, but it is another thing to play on the inside, artificially. How do you do this?

Answer: You understand that you must go from one state to another. You are experiencing one of the states right now, but the state that you want to attain is still in your imagination. You paint it in your mind and imagine what it can be like.

If I were to ask you, “What exactly are you imagining? What do you want to attain?” You would say, “Love and bestowal.” Well, aren’t you lying? Of course you are! But you are told that you have to bestow, and you seem to agree with this.

Very well. You have friends, so start building this relationship of love and bestowal among all of you. Go ahead.

But now you’re no longer in the mood for it…. Well, that’s natural. You are not supposed to want to do this. Just carry out simple mechanical actions. Sit together with the friends, think about it a little, or as much as you are able. The key is that the Light comes when you study and then suddenly you feel that you gradually agree with this aspiration and this development.

Now it is important for you to advance in this direction. You do not want it very much on the inside yet, but you already understand that this is important. The states keep changing and that is how you advance. You move under the influence of the Light, but you are also able to do the things that are meant for you to do.

This is why the breaking of the Kelim took place. It was to prepare the necessary condition for us: We are able to begin to attract the Light that Reforms through mere physical actions, without any desire. I exist among everyone and I hate them all. I cannot concentrate; in fact, I am unable to even think of love and bestowal. I do not care about the friends. I want to be alone with the Creator in the entire world.

Yet I still make some slight actions externally, even if I do not like it and even if I am only able to do what I am told. This is the beginning.

And then hatred becomes even more apparent. Yet, together with it, the importance of the goal also becomes more apparent. I see how important it is to attain bestowal and how far I am from it.

And finally, the importance reaches a limit. Bestowal is the only thing you want, but on the other hand you hate it and are incapable of it, being completely cut off from it. That’s when you cry out – when these two poles assume their final forms in your perception and reach their final power.

This is what is referred to as the “gates of tears for the poor in spirit.” You feel that you do not have anything and you can no longer tolerate that.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/15/11, Writings of Rabash

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