As we ascend the spiritual degrees, we experience different contradictory, confusing states when we do not understand anything. It happens that you as if completely lose your mind. After all, when you go from one state to another, your desire changes.
The mind is acquired together with the desire; it only serves the desire. The greater the desire, the more your mind grows to serve it, to help it get fulfilled. This is the way we operate.
When your desire becomes replaced with another one, you acquire a new desire, and your previous mind disappears. And between degrees you feel as if all the information was deleted from your “computer,” and you no longer know how to operate. They say that Baal Shem Tov even forgot letters and had to learn to read “from the beginning.”
This is a special state. This way man is being shown that he is just a machine. A desire disappears, memory disappears, and you feel that you no longer know how to do the simplest hand or leg movements, not to mention having to remember the names of people or things that happen around you.
This can appear to be a mental abnormality. But at the same time, a person understands and feels that all of this is happening to him; he as though analyzes himself from aside. There is a point where you feel: “This is happening to me. Look at me! Right now I am an empty vessel that lacks sensations and mind. I will receive a new sensation and mind!”
This is an absolute replacement. You acquire a new “computer,” and you need to load it with new programs; everything has to be done from the beginning. This is how we advance.
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/24/2011, Writings of Rabash