First and foremost I have to be grateful and “bless” the fact that I have a connection, that I am not shut off from the upper governance, no matter what it seems like to me now: good or bad. The most important thing is that I have a point of unity: I know about the existence of the Upper Force, Nature. It is Good and Does Good. It has a mind and feeling as we understand it. It creates us and desires for us to develop. Out of all humanity, right now it evoked a desire inside of me to come to it, and I have to be grateful for this aspiration even though it brings me discomfort.
I treat my new aspiration the same way as all my other desires: I want to fill it as fast as possible for the sake of reception. However, this emptiness will only be filled if I operate in the mode of bestowal. This is a different kind of desire: It enjoys only when abundance comes from it, when it does good for someone else.
I have to treat the spiritual desire that awakened in me as a new creation. It is impossible to continue regular life with it; I just won’t be able to. That is why I am brought to the group, the teacher, and the studies; I am introduced to the Kabbalistic method so I would understand that the time has come to work on a new creation.
This new Reshimo or new inclination in me does not yet have a vector and a form. I must now immerse myself in the environment like a grain in soil in order to receive nutritional substances from the group. Only then will the embryo of my spiritual desire begin to develop.
Moreover, it will develop in a completely different direction because this desire belongs to a dimension that is completely new for me. That means I must treat it differently from the onset and not demand the same thing I am used to demanding from my usual desires.
I still live in my previous desires the way I used to live, but now I devote all of my attention and energy to raising the new sprout. I study the science of Kabbalah in order to find the opportunity to realize this desire, to express it, and reveal fulfillment inside it. This is the gist of the entire wisdom.
I don’t act instinctively, the way I did until now. The new desire demands a new “style of work” from me. That is why I must first learn a new method, develop a new approach.
However, if I don’t want to study and keep acting the old way, not rising from the animate level to the human level, then I receive blows. That’s because my new aspiration is completely not intended or adapted for my egoistic reception. Is it possible to raise a human child by the laws of the jungle among wild beasts? He wouldn’t grow up as a person and wouldn’t rise from the animate level.
In the same way, I have to study in order to properly nourish this seed and create the right environment for it. I have to provide it with moisture, minerals, warmth, and light—all the things that are necessary for its development.
This is the meaning of studying the science of Kabbalah: I study how to correctly and optimally raise my spiritual desire.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/13/11, Writings of Rabash