Entries in the 'Q&A' Category

If You Were Offended

36Question: A student asked: “Teacher, how can I learn to forgive?” The teacher replied: “Learn not to be offended.”

Do you still need to learn to forgive or learn not to be offended?

Answer: Do not be offended.

Question: Why? Can you explain it to me?

Answer: We need to understand other people and agree with them in advance that offense is all a pure product of our egoism.

Question: If I learn to forgive, then do I learn to forgive him? And if I learn not to be offended, is it me who learns not to be offended? Is there work with my “I” here?

Answer: Yes, sure.

Question: What do I do with it if I am not offended even though I have been very offended?

Answer: I believe that this is in the order of human nature; therefore, I do not feel justified in rising up against it.

Question: Is it human nature to offend? If I have been offended, I must say, “This is human nature”?

Answer: Yes.

Question: At the same time, should I say this is my nature, too?

Answer: In general, yes, but it is not necessary.

Question: Is it possible not to be offended when you, your “I,” are crushed and spoiled?

Answer: It comes with age that you begin to feel and understand that this is human nature, there is no point in being offended. We are talking beyond 70 years of age. And before that, you are still a child.
[325003]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/18/23

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Then the Pain and Suffering Will Disappear

963.4Question: from Anya:

You often say that you need to be happy. How can we be happy about what is happening today? There is no joy today. Today you are afraid of tomorrow. There’s so much grief around today, how can I be happy? How to be happy?

My Response: A person should strive to comprehend the meaning of life and see that the meaning of life is for life itself to be revealing to you:  what it is for, why it is, and where it leads through animal death, in general, where it leads us and where it pulls us. A person should strive for this revelation.

Question: In principle, do we understand that from birth to “coffin” is a segment of my life?

Answer: This is a period of life that, in general, does not count as life, because you are following some clear instinctive instructions of nature here. You act in accordance with the order to survive, get comfortable, suffer less, and so on.

Question: And so, I have to jump out of this state?

Answer: Yes. You have to jump out of this state in order to feel the meaning of existence.

Question: Where is the joy here?

Answer: The joy here is in comprehending the whole universe. Joy is in understanding the meaning.

Question: Anya asks: “How can you be happy today when all this is happening?”

Answer: When you understand what all this is for and how much every movement of inanimate, vegetative, animate, and human nature, everything is aimed at revealing the mystery of life.

Question: Is it possible to link what is happening around, suffering and horrors, to this chain, the disclosure of the mystery of life?

Answer: Of course, that is what all this is for.

Question: And when it hurts?

Answer: When it hurts, then it is all the more necessary to understand that all this leads us eventually to a sense of inner meaning.

Question: And does this lead to joy?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And what happens to the pain?

Answer: The pain disappears. If we know exactly what for, why, and for what, we become included in it, then there is no pain, and everything becomes meaningful.

Question: Breakdowns happen here; what do I lose again and find again in this movement?

Answer: They happen so often that you think that is how it should be.

Question: So, I’m going to lose and find, lose and find, this meaning of life?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And it’s still considered that I’m getting stronger and getting closer?

Answer: You are getting stronger all the time and moving forward.

Question: Is there no other way to move toward this?

Answer: No, immersion in the meaning of life is the comprehension of the Creator.
[324604]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/8/24

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When Failure Becomes Success

49.01Question: When obstacles or difficulties arise (which the Creator creates), how does one examine whether it’s given to strengthen oneself or whether to just avoid it? How can you determine that you shouldn’t bang your head against the wall?

Answer: Such a thing cannot be! Everything is always directed only toward creating unity with the group and with the Creator. Only in this way can we determine the correctness of our actions.

Anything that leads us to unity with the group, humanity, and the Creator is correct, while anything contrary to this is incorrect.

Thus, I do everything, as well as those mechanical tasks that I am obligated to do that are required by my boss, spouse, or someone else.

But even here, I apply the correct intention; I do this in order to perform certain mechanical actions in this world and attach the necessary intentions to them, for what purpose do I even exist. And then all these seemingly completely unnecessary actions for spiritual ascent become useful.

Question: Suppose, in a certain situation, we perceive something as a negative influence; we feel bad and it’s hard for us. How do we still understand when it’s worth putting in even more effort, or whether we shouldn’t tackle it at all? You once said: “Apparently the Creator does not allow this to happen.”

Answer: This can only be said after you have absolutely done everything and nothing worked out, then it shouldn’t have worked out! So failure itself becomes success, the most correct result.

But how do I know that it should be like this, that this is correct? After I have exerted all efforts, I have no problems with what happens! I don’t evaluate anything at all, and it turned out as it turned out. The main thing is that I maximally invested myself as much as I could.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Attitude to Difficulties“ 12/23/11

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How Can I Get Rid of Guilt

625_04Alina writes:

I was raised by my parents in such a way that I was always to be blamed for everything. And I absorbed it like a sponge. And it got worse over the years. My husband and children all pointed out to me that everything was happening because of me.

That is how I live, blaming myself and thinking about how guilty I am. I am eating myself up today and I cannot get out of this hell. I am still relatively young. I want to live without this pain and guilt. Is it possible to get out of this?

Answer: Of course! Because the Creator sends it to you.

Question: How can I escape?

Answer: Rise up, rise above your self-esteem.

Question: That I feel it is my fault? “Everyone pointed out that I was to blame, and I got used to being the one to blame,” she says.

Answer: This is not true. A person is not guilty of anything at all.

Question: Should one come to this?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Can you give any practical advice to Alina so that she feels an answer that she can implement practically? What steps should she take to break out of the fact that she blames herself for everything that is happening all the time?

Answer: This is because she did not reveal that there is only one force in the world that creates everything, controls everything, and determines everything.

Question: Is it as if she does not act, but this force acts through her?

Answer: Yes. Through her. This egoism of hers plays with her in this way.

Question: What about the fact that her relatives, parents, husband, and children act on her in such a way?

Answer: It is all wrong; it seems to her.

Question: Is this really how the Creator works with her?

Answer: She attracts such relationships to herself. And it is not her fault at all.

Question: So her only action is to understand that this is how the Creator works with her? And that all is Him?

Answer: Yes. And that all is Him.

Question: Is it possible to understand it on some mechanical level by repeating it?

Answer: Turn it back to the Creator all the time.
[324703]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 1/8/24

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What To Do If the Heart Is Silent?

600.02 Natalia writes:

Dear Michael Laitman, tell me what to do when the heart closes, when sensitivity goes away, and I see that I can no longer respond to the pain and suffering of others, even the closest people? I stop being sensitive to their suffering. I’m scared of this! I don’t want to become indifferent. What should I do in this case?

Answer: What to do? In this case, you just have to bestow to people. And then you will find meaning in it, you will see meaning in it.

Question: When you say “to bestow,” what do you mean?

Answer: To help, to react to other people in some way, to see what they need, if you do this, you will justify your existence and get closer to the revelation of the Creator not just at the gate of tears, but at the closest gate.

Question: So, you’re saying: “Don’t dig into yourself, don’t look for what I am?

Answer: No, think less about yourself.

Question: Only from oneself outward?

Answer: Yes.
[323794]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/25/23

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Asking the Creator Is Necessary

563Question: From a letter: “You have been saying lately that one should not ask anything from the Creator but only agree with everything that happens because everything is from Him. You say: ‘This is life, this is the world, and I exist in this world to be at peace.’ It turns out that I do not need to ask for anything: not for health, not for peace. Then what is the point of all prayers?”

Answer: Asking the Creator is of course necessary, but first, one must decide. It must relate to my request to Him after I have tried everything, done everything, and have not achieved all that I should have achieved for His sake, then I turn to Him with a request and ask for help.

Question: So my first action is to try anyway?

Answer: Try to give to the Creator. If I can’t do that anymore, then ask Him.

Comment: But this “giving to the Creator” is the whole difficulty here. After all, people are actually asking. They are asking, not what to give Him, but what they ask for.

My Response: And what do they give? They give a prayer, they give nothing. They do not give; they ask!

Question: Is the most important thing to ask the Creator?

Answer: Yes, the Creator exists for the purpose of asking Him.

Question: Very important, very good. And where is your inner awareness that you too can give something?

Answer: There is no such awareness. None. Giving to the Creator is generally against any logic. He created everything, He does everything.

Comment: Then let Him give! This is the logic.

My Response: Well said! “Come on! Where are You?”

Question: Should I ask for those who are close to me, for those who are far away, or for oneself?

Answer: It does not matter for whom to ask, but ask.

Comment: But ask, yes. I have such a relationship with the Creator.

My Response: I ask, He gives, not bad.

Question: Do you agree that this is such a condition?

Answer: I agree that a person is built that way.

Question: You say it yourself that such is nature. And what is wrong here? If this has been embedded in us, what is wrong?

Answer: And what is from me?

Question: What is from me? Some good behavior, the fulfillment of some laws? And it is written in the Torah, in the Bible.

Answer: Very well. So do it.

Comment: I do it, but I do it with the thought that it should be good for me.

My Response: And that is no longer good. This is where the problem lies, that you do what you have to do against your will. Part of it is how much you can reduce this involuntarily list.

Question: So, I would want to reduce it?

Answer: You would want to destroy it. And what you want is that you will have no obligations before the Creator but that the Creator feels you and is ready to fulfill your wishes at every moment.

Comment: Yes. There is a thought. The question is this: “You say you have to agree, it started with this, agreeing with everything that happens.”

My Response: Correct, continue.

Question: To agree with everything that happens and that this world exists to be at peace. These are her main theses. You are not giving up on this?

Answer: No. But what does it mean to balance for it to be at peace?

Question: In other words, what does it mean to balance myself?

Answer: Yes. It is all measured relative to me.

Question: That is, this phrase “at peace”—is there some big secret in it?

Answer: Yes.

Question: And what is peace then?

Answer: Peace is a complete harmony, mutual understanding between man and the Creator.

Question: So I have to come to this? It is not just peace as I understand it in this world.

Answer: No. A complete understanding of each other.

Question: And what does it mean?

Answer: That you are completely at peace.

Question: What do I have to understand?

Answer: What the Creator wants from you and what you want from the Creator and that at the same time you are similar to each other and are ready to do anything for each other.

Question: How do I know what He wants from me in order to come to peace?

Answer: The Creator wants only one thing from you: that you understand Him and what He needs.

Question: What? Please tell me.

Answer: But you have to understand this, you have to reveal it.

Question: Meaning that my life comes down to searching for what He needs?

Answer: Yes, This is the direction in life.

Question: How should I aim myself? “I want to understand what You want” or “I want peace”—these are two directions; which one is correct?

Answer: No. “I want peace,” this is you—an egoist. But “I want the right direction for my thoughts, my actions,” this is already a question.

Question: That is, I want to please You somehow, I want to be in dialogue with You?

Answer: I want to do something nice for You.

Question: And my whole life is to find out what I can do that is pleasing Him? And this is called coming to peace that you are talking about?

Answer: Yes.
[322701]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/23/23

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What Should I Do If My Son Is at War?

627.2Inna writes:

Dear Michael Laitman, I am trembling all over when I write to you.

I have been living in Israel for 30 years. My children grew up here. Now the oldest one is in the army. He is in a combat unit at a closed base. The connection with him is very rare. He was just next to me, my child, warm, kind, and loving, and suddenly childhood is over.

This realization that childhood is over is terrible! I have a very strong feeling of emptiness! Here neither faith nor mind helps. The younger children do not help either. It is like a piece of me has been taken out of me. I am afraid for him! I feel like I am sinking into this worry! How do I survive this? How do I hold on?

My Response: You just have to believe. There is nothing else to say here. Believe that everything will be fine, that there is the upper force that arranges the fate of everyone, and it will treat each of us with kindness.

Question: My son, and in general, all our children?

Answer: Yes. It is very difficult to imagine a mother’s feelings. Nothing will calm her down except that he would be near her.

Question: Is that what she should want?

Answer: Yes. He should be near her! Under her heart!
[323740]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 12/7/23

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A Life in Which It Is Difficult to Find Meaning

167Question: What is the spiritual work on oneself for an ordinary person?

Answer: A person in whom the question of the meaning of life awakens begins to connect himself with those who want to expand the scope of their knowledge to find out “What am I for? Why me? What is the purpose of existence?”

All these questions push him to expand his feelings: “What kind of world am I in? Is there anything above it? What controls it? Where is the mechanism that sets it in motion? What is the cause and effect of all this? The goal?” When we ask these questions and can’t find the answer, we start looking.

I remember when this question first arose in me, I was only five to six years old, and I felt old, internally dissatisfied, detached from everyone. All the children were running around in the yard doing something, and I was thinking: “Why all this?” And I don’t really want to live, there’s no point.

Of course, life talks to you, you are a little interested in sports (tennis, cycling, running), interested in girls a little, hormonal development is still taking place. But somewhere deep down, this question still sits and does not let you go. You behave as if mechanically and realize the meaninglessness of this.

You go to the symphony, to exhibitions, to museums. You try to somehow cling to this world, to know it, to taste what people consider high, special. But why? You look at a painting and think: “Someone took a couple of months to paint it, painted it beautifully, and then what? What’s the point?” There’s no point.

I remember a teacher at school saying, “The meaning of life is to eat delicious food, relax, go to the cinema, read an interesting book,” and so on. It turned out, as the sages say, “you live involuntarily,” get a little pleasure, relax, and forget about a higher meaning; otherwise, all of life will seem like hell.

And what if you can’t calm down? There are already millions of such people nowadays! These questions oblige a person to begin to expand the field of his feelings.
[322259]
From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Eternal and Perfect” 12/1/11

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Can Gifts become an Obstacle on the Spiritual Path?

600.02Question: Generally when people have some connection, as soon as monetary relations enter it something beyond our control happens; we begin to change and make various calculations.

Why does everyone revolve around money?

Answer: Money tells how much I buy (from) within you and you buy (from) within me. When I give you money, I buy a part of you. This is the equivalent of my investment in you, of my efforts.

Not only money but even gifts are the same way. I have big problems with this. If someone let’s say from South America brings me a special Tequila, I put it on the table for everyone. But what if it is a personal gift? Then it is a problem: should I take it or not? A person feels that he gave you something. It means you should give him something back.

However, is it good if he thinks this way? Then he will calm down and will not put efforts to attain the upper world, but rather, he will be waiting for a reciprocal gift from you. This will relax him. It is impossible to attain spirituality without your own efforts. It turns out that if I accept his gift, I can trip him into deceiving himself. Therefore, one should not do this.

It is allowed only in the measure I feel that by giving a gift to me, he understands that he is the one who is receiving a gift because I accept it from him. Only in this case!
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. It’s all about money” 12/4/11

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How Can a Person’s Last Suffering Be Alleviated?

294.3 Natasha writes:

Hello, dear Michael Laitman! It is very important for me to know your opinion. The fact is that my niece, who is only 18 years old, is dying of cancer. And yesterday the doctors told us that she is to die in about one month.

Throughout her illness, the whole family supported her and told her that everything would be fine and that she would overcome everything. But now the doctors have pronounced their verdict, and she will be gone in a month. I do not know what to tell her. I really do not know. I will be standing in front of her, she will look me in the eye, and I will have to say something. What should I say?

My Response: You should say that there is nothing worse than this world, and all of us will eventually move to another world and it will be better there. A person will meet this with understanding and relief.

Question: So you think this girl already understands inside her that she will leave?

Answer: Of course she understands it.

Question: In the case that she understands it, or in any case?

Answer: She will understand it. This will remain inside her. And she will accept this departure as a good transition to a better state. It is not a lie, not at all. On the contrary, you alleviate a person’s last suffering here in this world. And let her go.

Comment: That is, this world is not the best one.

My Response: It is the worst one.
[322531]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/20/23

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