Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Pregnant Person

laitman_565.01In the News (Fox News): “The UK government objected to the term ‘pregnant woman’ in a United Nations treaty, claiming the term ‘excludes’ transgender people who give birth and should be replaced with ‘pregnant people’ …

“The move follows the UK government’s position to foster transgender inclusivity. Last week, Prime Minster Theresa May unveiled plans to go ahead with the so-called Gender Recognition Act that allows people to “self-certify” their gender.”

Question: Where is this taking us?

Answer: It is taking us nowhere. What difference does it make how they will be recorded in these documents? It is irrelevant. You deal with a person, not a piece of paper. It may be necessary for some procedural actions, for courts, but in general, they will not gain anything by it.

Question: Either way, will the status of “pregnant person” exist now? And men would be able to be considered pregnant, which is actually possible.

Answer: Of course, they will do everything! But, we must understand that we are now in a particular state, a particular stage in nature’s development when the individual is changing, one’s tastes are changing, and one’s orientation. Everything within a person is changing.

Already, young people do not want to marry and do not want to maintain normal relations between them. What haven’t they tried yet? They would rather buy sex dolls than get a boyfriend or a girlfriend. They generally do anything that comes to mind.

We need to understand that this tendency is natural because we did not correct the individual in time, didn’t give him the right guidance, the right information, as to how he should work with his own nature. That is why they are looking for ways that bring a certain kind of miasmic self-gratification or some kind of new sensation.

Moreover, they demand to be respected, to be acknowledged, to receive special consideration. So a large problem looms for humanity. In the end, all of this will escalate and accumulate into such a condition that society will not be able to bear it and must somehow change it through forceful measures.

Question: In principle, do you look at a person as a person?

Answer: I don’t look at a person. I look at his internal state, at his soul, and it is not dependent on how often he changes his gender or does anything else externally.

Question: Will such a way of relating to each other ever exist in our world?

Answer: I think it will come to replace our present, also revolutionary, period. Humanity is rising above all kinds of differences—gender and others—and will begin to speak about the inner qualities of a person, not about the external state.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman,” 11/9/17

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New Life #196 – Creating A Relationship As A Couple, Part 2

New Life 196 – Creating A Relationship As A Couple, Part 2
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Summary

Love is born from mutual investment. Sex reveals additional depth in the communication between partners. Self-awareness and awareness of one’s partner help us to be flexible and accommodate one another. An ideal relationship occurs when two become one and the couple then also unites with society as a whole.
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From KabTV’s “New Life #196 – Creating a Relationship as a Couple,” Part 2, 6/9/13

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What Is Love?

laitman_625.03Question: What can a person do if during his entire life he never experienced love?

Answer: It depends for whom. If a person does not feel love for himself, this is some kind of abnormality, because love for ourselves is our nature. If he does not feel love for others, then this is natural and he is a normal, healthy person.

Question: Why do some say in response to the phrase “love your neighbor as yourself”: “I do not love myself very much, so I will not love others very much either”?

Answer: Try to love others the way you love yourself and you will see how much you love yourself. You will suddenly discover that you love yourself more and more every day.

Question: Is love a state, a feeling, or some kind of quality, a force, in a person?

Answer: Love is a feeling when I feel I belong to myself. The force of belonging to yourself is called love.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 8/13/17

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True Love

laitman_624.04Question: What is love? Is it power, a field, energy?

Answer: It is a force directed from the person outward. The attribute of bestowal, the force of bestowal, is the power of love.

When I value something that is outside of me, higher than me, it is called love for this state, for this desire, or for this person, no matter what we call it.

Question: According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, love is the revelation of love and hate at the same time, unlike in our world, where there can be either love or hate?

Answer: When states of “love” and “hate” exist separately from each other, they are unreal, contrived by us. They are given to us only so we can go through them and reach the real state. It is like the laws of physics: there can’t be minus without plus or plus without minus.

There is no love without hate, and no hate without love. They are built on top of each other, and we use them as states given to us by the Creator.

These are very realistic qualities that we must absorb into ourselves and exist with them both together. In this state I understand all the minuses and pluses in me and in another person. I understand that they were set for us and given to us by the Creator. We put the Creator between us and only then achieve mutual balance in this system: me, the other person, and the Creator between us.

Then, present, past, and future mutually complement each other, as in the system. The state in which I find the complete balance of all opposing properties is called “love.” This is a very special state of the ideal balance of the system.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 8/6/17

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The Spiritual Component And Earthly Love

Laitman_121Question: How can one correctly add a spiritual component to earthly love between husband and wife?

Answer: It is possible to add a spiritual component between husband and wife only when they understand what they are doing and why they exist.

They must realize that they have a unique opportunity to conduct themselves in all situations in life in such a way that they train on each other in mutual influence. Then they will be able to attain the revelation of the Creator, as it is written: “A husband and wife have, the Shechina between them.”

But only if they really are serious about achieving that goal. Because they must “step on themselves” and help each other.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 8/6/17

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What Does Kabbalah Say About Love On Earth?

Laitman_910Question: What does a Kabbalist think about love?

Answer: Kabbalists constantly think about love. The question is what exactly does he think about it? Does he wonder whether it exists or not? Does he ask himself what love itself means, what is its definition, what are the boundaries of its existence, what is the level of its manifestation, and what are the conditions under which it manifests and exists?

Can an eternal type of love be reached?

The kind of love that passes is not love. It cannot be anything other than eternal.

Once I gave a lecture to a large audience in Tel-Aviv and I immediately told them that there is no love. At first there was silence but gradually everyone agreed with me.

There is a constant, native, natural love, which is only for the dear and unforgettable me. Within the material framework, this is the only kind of love that is real. It is born and dies together with me, with my “I.”

This is the egoism that exists within me, that develops all the time, and pushes my nose further into myself to see what else can I wish for, get, and bring closer to my dear self. It always asks: how I can love myself even more? This is our egoistic nature. Therefore, self-love is a natural quality of everything that exists.

All material nature in the universe consists of a huge type of egoism that divides into four levels: inanimate, vegetative, animate, and human. These types differ only by the degree of egoism that manifests as love for oneself.

Love on inanimate, vegetative, and animate levels is instinctive and not recognized by the object itself. It does not check how much it loves itself but just satisfies its love.

On the human level love is programmable. Although it remains a love for oneself and for oneself only; nevertheless, it undergoes various stages of development, such as in what way it can be expressed and which forms it can assume. Since a person depends on society, on the ones similar to him, and on the ones opposite to him, his idea of love or how to fulfill and satiate himself changes under the influence of society.

However, in principle this is the same self-love but in even more refined and constantly renewed forms. This is the love that exists in our world including such manifestations of it as a mother’s love for a child, a person’s love for their homeland, and so on. No matter what form of love we are talking about, all of them eventually reflect egoistic love for oneself.

Remark: You dispel all the romantic ideas people have about love.

My Comment: There is no romance here except for minor misconceptions. This is known to everyone including scientists, philosophers, physiologists, and psychologists. In our time, egoism has grown so much that we are especially, acutely aware that there is no love.

Even scientists say that people only get together for two to three years. The normal manifestation of mutuality cannot last between them for a long time since all of it quickly disappears. Our egoism is constantly renewed and it erases all of the past conditions that supported the manifestation of any kind of mutuality, even though it was egoistic or only for my beloved self. This, however, also changes.

Question: So, what is next? Habit? After all, many people live together for years.

Answer: If someone lives together for many years, they are just “dinosaurs.” In our time, no one voluntarily lives in the same family for a long time either because of children or because of the goods and everything else they acquired together.

The fact is that, previously, life expectancy did not exceed forty years and people died before their so-called love ended.
Besides, a man—while choosing a spouse—considered not love but whether the woman could be a housewife, making sure that she was healthy, capable, could cook, and could maintain a house. Therefore, there is no room to talk about love here either.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 8/6/17

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Could The Book Of Zohar Have Been Written By Ten Women?

laitman_260.01Question: Hypothetically, could The Book of Zohar have been written by ten women?

Answer: Hypothetically, yes. However, we are organized in such a way that the aspiration for spiritual unity between people resides with the men, while the force of supporting and uniting the men resides with the women.

This is why our world is initially divided into the opposite qualities: male and female, bestowal and reception. In Kabbalah, this is studied very seriously, for it is a cornerstone of our relationships with each other.

Generally, how do two men unite with each other? One in some way is a man in relation to the other, and the other in some way is a woman toward the first one. Obviously, we are not talking about physiology or psychology, nor anything related to our worldly notions, but only spiritual qualities. Any spiritual discernment that we reveal in us consists of a male and female part.

In our world, until we enter the level of the upper world, men naturally have an advantage here. They are considered crucial and of paramount importance in Kabbalistic societies.

The women form into groups around men and start receiving the spiritual qualities through them because the men make the breakthrough in this, as they do in everything else in this world; they are always the discoverers, builders, and destroyers—and the women follow behind.

However, when the men’s breakthroughs are followed by the women’s “battalions,” the result is the creation of spiritual qualities and the development of new souls. There is an activation of the feminine qualities, which are not simply complementary, but very essential, that come out to the forefront and start working on the spiritual planes.

Question: So the fundamental demand comes from the women?

Answer: Yes, it says many times in the Torah, that you have to listen to your wife, a woman.

The Torah is written in a very interesting way; despite the fact that it seemingly talks about men, there is always a woman somewhere that privately directs them, like a wife in a family.

A man is considered the head of the family, but in reality, whatever part of the world I ever visited and anyone I ever asked: the Indians in South America or anyone else, not to mention in European countries, or the Africans, the woman is always the foundation of life, the foundation of the world. And the same holds true in Kabbalah.

However, the breakthrough happens through the masculine force, which is followed, supported, pushed, influenced, and even directed by the feminine force.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/4/17

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“The Most Tender And Delicate Man Among You, Will Begrudge His Own Brother”

Laitman_182.02Torah, Deuteronomy 28:54: The most tender and delicate man among you, will begrudge his own brother and the wife of his embrace and the rest of his children, whom he will leave over

People are unable to control their egoism and exist in love for their neighbor. When people who are soft, good, and kind in everyday life feel the desire to achieve love for their neighbor, they suddenly uncover such huge, inner, egoistic layers that they begin hating each other.

It is like how young people in love, in the beginning, live like a couple of doves. And what happens later? Scandals, assaults, difficult divorces, and lawyers.

If they did not try to get close to each other, they could remain good friends and lovers, meet from time to time, and please each other, but without any obligations. This is the most important thing. After all, love for your neighbor obliges you; you are obliged to love him and overcome your egoism all the time. Therefore, today there are so many unhappy marriages.

Question: How can we avoid this?

Answer: A person must rise above himself! But is he capable of doing this? Can his environment give him the required support? If not, it is better to walk away.

Suppose—if I am already married—then I can do nothing; I live next to this person involuntarily. I do not have an opportunity to regulate the distance between us according to my ability to control myself and rise above my egoism. If I could do this, everything would be fine. If we are a little tired of each other, we move away from each other and later we move closer and so on. This is a big problem.

This is exactly the kind of rejection we try to overcome in a Kabbalistic group. We constantly work on this, for many hours a day, without walking away or separating.

Is it possible to oblige a young couple who does not understand anything about the inner work to do this? It is necessary to study Kabbalah for this, to discuss it constantly, and to implement it practically. Where do you see such a family and such an opportunity?

Can you imagine, in what state people were, 2,000 years ago when they had to implement all of this amongst themselves? Therefore, it is not surprising that their spiritual unity, called the First and the Second Temples, fell apart.

Comment: Today, we have reached such a state that all marriages are falling apart. However, previously we somehow kept this circle.

My Response: This is because, previously, religion was holding people. Today, religion has changed its form so much that only an outer shell remains of it. Although it still holds them but with its last bit of strength, it takes new forms all the time.
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From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 12/21/16

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Class-Action Against Google

laitman_559In the News (NPR): “Systematically paying women less than men. Promoting them more slowly. And denying them opportunities.

“These are the allegations in a lawsuit against Google filed Thursday in San Francisco on behalf of three female former employees.

“They’re seeking class-action status to sue on behalf of all women employed by Google in California over the past four years. ‘The lawsuit appears to be the first to make class action sex bias claims against Google,’ according to Reuters.”

My Comment: We are all different. When we speak about equality, we erase A person’s individuality.

I don’t know what the problem is over there. I don’t want to get involved; it is their business. But if men and women are in any way equalized, I think it would be an insult to both genders.

Try to give a woman a compliment in the same manner you would give a compliment to a man: “Hey, you look normal today…” Can you imagine saying that to a woman?

A woman feels good when you emphasize her unique virtues and not those that are also inherent in men, and in this she is just like a man. You need admire her feminine qualities .

Question: In other words, she is a mother, home, tenderness?

Answer: Yes. She is general everything. She demands attention and respect because that is a woman’s nature. Everything comes from masculine and feminine egoism. A woman, as a desire to receive, as Malchut, has this need. This needs to be respected and understood; this comes to us from nature. We are grown adults, men and women, and we need to understand nature correctly and relate to each other accordingly.

Question: In other words, we can make the following conclusion: there is no equality and it cannot exist?

Answer: Initially from nature, equality cannot exist. If we want it to exist, we need to raise people to a degree where, according to those criteria, they can be equal.

This is what Kabbalah deals with; it equalizes everyone. If I connect with love to all of humanity, then I am the same as everyone else.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman,” 8/10/17

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Why Do Kabbalists Recommend Establishing Families?

laitman_626Question: Kabbalists recommend establishing families. How and why does this influence a person’s spiritual development?

Answer: It could be that in our times this is no longer as relevant as it was in the past. But in principle, the conditions for establishing a family are not derived from material needs that change in each and every generation and especially now, but from the fact that it is because within the framework of life in the family unit in our world, we must become similar to the upper world.

In the upper world, there is always a connection between opposites that are embedded within the physical world as a masculine part and a feminine part. Therefore, there is a requirement for male Kabbalists to marry.

In all times, women wanted to marry while men didn’t always want this. In our time, everything is the opposite. It could be that the men agree to marry, especially since the wisdom of Kabbalah obligates them, while women no longer want to establish families because they believe that it is not imperative for them. Therefore, the problem nevertheless exists.

I relate to this subject simply: If you want to marry, get married, and if you don’t want to, then don’t marry. But if you marry, then choose a partner who will help you in attaining the higher goal.
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From a Kabbalah Lesson in  Russian 5/21/17

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