Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

How To Achieve Love?

laitman_572_02Question: How can we achieve love in practice?

Answer: If you make efforts and see that you cannot do anything, you are reminded of the Creator and that He must help. When you turn to Him, you see how He arranges everything. This way the love for the Creator will come to you.

You will begin to see that He has prepared all the obstacles for you, all the problems and troubles, with such love, devotion, and care. You will start feeling love for the Creator because “love will cover all sins.” After all, you will see that He has never done you any harm.

When love is revealed and covers all evil, you see that evil has never existed. It only seemed to you that this problem existed, and now you see that it does not. It had to be this way so that you could reveal love.

This also happens in our world. Sometimes you argue with someone—say, with your wife. You are burning with anger! And then you make up, and it seems to you that everything that happened was just a folly and there was nothing important in it. And then you ask yourself how could you want to leave and divorce over such a little thing.

That is life. But what have you attained? You attained that everything that happened was as if unreal and now you are enjoying intimacy even more. This does not teach you too much for the future, so sometimes you will argue again.

That is, if we treat what is happening to us in our lives, our family, and any other place in such a way that it comes to us from the Creator so that we learn to cover everything with love, we will see a completely different life.
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From the Convention In Brazil “Day Two” 4/30/17, Lesson 9

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Start Preparing For Family Life From Early Childhood

Laitman_049_03Question: From what age should we begin to prepare adolescents for family life and what exactly does this education consist of?

Answer: We think that matrimony is something exceptional. But, in reality, it is just a form of connection between people. We should start educating children about the art of connecting with others from two to three years of age.

A very young child doesn’t know how to play with anyone else. But at around two to three years of age, he begins to play with other children, and then it is necessary to teach him how to be in correct contact with others. The methodology for this includes roundtables, connection exercises, mutual concession, and games. The child needs to understand how to use these correctly.

Connection is when I can unite with another through all of my desires, all my aspiration; I can unite with one other, two, ten, or a larger society. And as children mature, this understanding must be expanded. It needs to be explained that connections exist between sexes and the new growing desires in us also need to be used for appropriate connection with others.

When suddenly sexual interests appear—that divide all people into men and women, into those who are close and those that are distant, into those he loves and those he doesn’t—he must know how to use these interests for the right kind of connection to society. The science of Kabbalah teaches how to achieve this right kind of connection and appreciate the importance of various forms of rejection and attraction.

This needs to be studied, and I would make this education compulsory for everyone because it is obvious that without it we lose a great deal in life.
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From the lesson “Time Of Kabbalah,” 6/20/2017

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Problem Number One

Wonder Woman, Part 4

laitman_629_3Question: Usually, movies made by women directors are not as popular as films directed by men. However, the film Wonder Woman with both a female director and main character received great acclaim.

Does this reflect a particular spirit of our time, that it is a woman who is expected to be a hero and a savior?

Answer: There were a lot of women throughout history that played leading roles. The first example: Adam and Eve, because of whom the entire history of humanity started unfolding. Then, Abraham’s wife Sarah, the prophetesses that the Torah talks about: Rachel, Leah, Yael, Miriam, Deborah, Hulda, and even Pharaoh’s daughter Batya. We see that the women in the Torah act in no less emphasized way than the men.

Question: What qualities should such a “super-woman” possess?

Answer: The super-woman is the one directing her children and her husband toward the correction of the world, toward the good connection. That is why Abraham was told: “Listen to what Sarah tells you.”

Such a woman has the power of bestowal and love for a friend. A woman understands that this is the only way that the world can exist. She has an even greater ability of overcoming herself than a man does, because she has the power of giving birth.

A man frequently remains a child that only wants to play around. A woman has a much more serious take on life by nature because she is connected with nature’s principles, with the system producing life. That is why women that come to study Kabbalah display a very serious attitude and desire toward correction.

A super-woman is the one that possesses the internal force to overcome a person’s inner nature that is directed at using others for self-benefit and to start treating them as if they were her children, as members of her family. She is ready to give and help in everything, as in the family, instead of receiving egoistically.

Heroism is in stepping out of the borders of her family toward which she feels natural love and relating to the whole world as if they are all her children.

Question: Let’s say a woman starts relating this way to the world. How can she influence others and advance them toward correction?

Answer: A woman has a great influence in the world. As soon as she starts behaving like such a heroine, her abilities become endless. She can turn everyone around her toward love and bestowal.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 6/8/17

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“You Shall Not Take A Widow’s Garment As Security”

Dr. Michael LaitmanTorah, Deuteronomy 24:17 – 24:18: You shall not pervert the judgment of a stranger or an orphan, and you shall not take a widow’s garment as security [for a loan]. You shall remember that you were a slave in Egypt…

The widow’s garment remains with her from her previous husband. This is what she is attached to, although it has already come off from that soul, from the Partzuf, to which she belonged as a female part to a male part. It means that the garment that was left to her is part of the screen (Masach) that once was her husband.

After all, the soul consists of male and female part. The female part is a desire and the male part is an intention to bestow. If this intention to bestow disappears or dies, then only the female part remains that is called widow.

However, since she used to belong to the male part, there is a certain residual screen in her and therefore no one has a right to take it. Only if a next husband comes, he will change her garment. This is the whole system of interactions between the old and new intention on the old and new desire. All of it is the cycle of the souls.

Comment: You said once that if a woman had several men, then the genes of the previous men will be embedded in her child.

My Response: Indeed, if a woman had several men, then the genes of all previous men are manifested in her child. Therefore, it is so important that she is a virgin.

This was valued at all times, but today its value has already diminished, not because of debauchery and big egoism, but because the entire world comes this way to its convergence and rounding.

It’s not that egoism from within forces us to be so loose, but because of the purpose of creation. One of the reasons for this is that we must become fully included into each other and unite.
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From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 10/31/16

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Kabbalah And Family Relations

Laitman_725.jpgQuestion: They say that Kabbalists could bring the Godly presence between a husband and a wife. How can the wisdom of Kabbalah help in building relations in the family today and resolving conflicts?

Answer: Kabbalah gives advice as to how to treat each other properly, which refers to all of mankind, including a husband and a wife. If a couple properly interact with each other, they will be able to reveal the Creator between them.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 1/22/17

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Who Should Lead The Country?

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Would it be good for a woman to be in a leadership role, let’s say as leader of the nation?

Answer: Any leadership position requires the right interface between the feminine and masculine parts, and only together can they successfully lead. A man sees half and a woman sees half. Therefore, leadership should be carried out in pairs.

Question: So, serving as prime minister should be two, a man and a woman?

Answer: A prime minister is a puppet who has many advisers. They report something to him and he supposedly makes a decision based upon this. But essentially, he doesn’t decide anything.

To see the world correctly, it is necessary to look at it through two close-fitting elements: the masculine part and the feminine part, because a woman looks at the world in a completely different way and sees what a man doesn’t see.

After they make a joint decision, a man can say: “I have decided,” as usually happens in a family.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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How Can We Keep The Family United?

laitman_623Question: Can you give some advice according to the wisdom of Kabbalah as to how we can keep the family united?

Answer: My advice to a married couple is: have children and agree that divorce is not an option. The couple should try to get along with each other.

We are living in hard times where each of us experiences difficult problems. All this must be accepted since we cannot change it. No matter how much we promise ourselves and others to be good and nice, this evaporates very quickly because we have no control over ourselves.

The family should be a strong cell that can clearly be called indestructible despite everything. Children should feel that they have a mother and a father that they can turn to, that they have a family.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Men And Women: Being Content With One’s Lot

Laitman_049_01Comment: I wouldn’t like to be a man in any of my other lives. This would be the greatest punishment for me! We see that everything is based on women, and a man is an eternal child.

A woman is basically smarter; she is both a mother and a leader. She is responsible, serious, peaceful, and hard working, and she has many qualities that are simply not developed enough or are lacking in a man.

My Response: I believe that what you say indicates your lack of understanding because you feel flawed in your female image and form. It is as if you are condemning the Creator for having created men like that.

A self-sufficient person is filled spiritually, has a goal, and tries to move toward it correctly; in this one has no calculation with the other sex. One simply advances.

As the saying goes: “Be content with one’s lot.”
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 12/4/16

laitman_600_04Question: Do men and women have a different perception of the world?

Answer: Of course, it is different in many ways and cannot be compared. We may hear, see, and perceive things differently, but the difference between us cannot be compared since there is no basis for comparison.

Question: Can a homosexual study the wisdom of Kabbalah?

Answer: This is a problem. A person has to follow his sexual inclination. It is beyond one’s powers.

Question: What happens in a man if the female part dominates him?

Answer: Nothing happens. He still has to engage in the wisdom of Kabbalah, it makes no difference.

Question: How can a woman with a traditional view of life ,who expects the man to be the breadwinner, psychologically overcome the fact that she makes more money than the man?

Answer: What difference does it make? The couple must first of all feel each other and be friends.

Question: Is it easier for a man to develop spiritually in a family because his wife takes care of him and easier for a woman to develop spiritually when she is not married because then no one stands in her way?

Answer: A woman should try to get married, but if it doesn’t work out, she can attain the upper world by herself unlike an unmarried man.

Question: How does alcohol impact the relations between a man and a woman?

Answer: In a very negative way; in every case and aspect of it. I am against it.

Question: Do I have to make every effort in order to win the heart of a girl I think is cute?

Answer: You should make every effort to win the heart of a good girl, not a pretty girl.

Question: I really envy my husband, how can I overcome that?

Answer: Envy is a very hard and restricting feeling. The best thing to do is to delve more deeply into the wisdom of Kabbalah and gradually understand that a body is a body and a soul is a soul. Stay together and try to envy the Creator and so that the Creator will envy you. Your husband is your companion for the period of earthly existence.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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New Life #847 – Together And Alone

New Life #847 – Together And Alone
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

Summary

By being finely integrated we can attain the internal system of nature, together as one.

In the past we used to connect to those who were like us. Today we have to learn how to connect above any differences, above the divisiveness, in order to attain the mutual force of giving.
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From KabTV’s “New Life #847 – Together And Alone,” 4/4/17

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