Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Could The Book Of Zohar Have Been Written By Ten Women?

laitman_260.01Question: Hypothetically, could The Book of Zohar have been written by ten women?

Answer: Hypothetically, yes. However, we are organized in such a way that the aspiration for spiritual unity between people resides with the men, while the force of supporting and uniting the men resides with the women.

This is why our world is initially divided into the opposite qualities: male and female, bestowal and reception. In Kabbalah, this is studied very seriously, for it is a cornerstone of our relationships with each other.

Generally, how do two men unite with each other? One in some way is a man in relation to the other, and the other in some way is a woman toward the first one. Obviously, we are not talking about physiology or psychology, nor anything related to our worldly notions, but only spiritual qualities. Any spiritual discernment that we reveal in us consists of a male and female part.

In our world, until we enter the level of the upper world, men naturally have an advantage here. They are considered crucial and of paramount importance in Kabbalistic societies.

The women form into groups around men and start receiving the spiritual qualities through them because the men make the breakthrough in this, as they do in everything else in this world; they are always the discoverers, builders, and destroyers—and the women follow behind.

However, when the men’s breakthroughs are followed by the women’s “battalions,” the result is the creation of spiritual qualities and the development of new souls. There is an activation of the feminine qualities, which are not simply complementary, but very essential, that come out to the forefront and start working on the spiritual planes.

Question: So the fundamental demand comes from the women?

Answer: Yes, it says many times in the Torah, that you have to listen to your wife, a woman.

The Torah is written in a very interesting way; despite the fact that it seemingly talks about men, there is always a woman somewhere that privately directs them, like a wife in a family.

A man is considered the head of the family, but in reality, whatever part of the world I ever visited and anyone I ever asked: the Indians in South America or anyone else, not to mention in European countries, or the Africans, the woman is always the foundation of life, the foundation of the world. And the same holds true in Kabbalah.

However, the breakthrough happens through the masculine force, which is followed, supported, pushed, influenced, and even directed by the feminine force.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/4/17

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“The Most Tender And Delicate Man Among You, Will Begrudge His Own Brother”

Laitman_182.02Torah, Deuteronomy 28:54: The most tender and delicate man among you, will begrudge his own brother and the wife of his embrace and the rest of his children, whom he will leave over

People are unable to control their egoism and exist in love for their neighbor. When people who are soft, good, and kind in everyday life feel the desire to achieve love for their neighbor, they suddenly uncover such huge, inner, egoistic layers that they begin hating each other.

It is like how young people in love, in the beginning, live like a couple of doves. And what happens later? Scandals, assaults, difficult divorces, and lawyers.

If they did not try to get close to each other, they could remain good friends and lovers, meet from time to time, and please each other, but without any obligations. This is the most important thing. After all, love for your neighbor obliges you; you are obliged to love him and overcome your egoism all the time. Therefore, today there are so many unhappy marriages.

Question: How can we avoid this?

Answer: A person must rise above himself! But is he capable of doing this? Can his environment give him the required support? If not, it is better to walk away.

Suppose—if I am already married—then I can do nothing; I live next to this person involuntarily. I do not have an opportunity to regulate the distance between us according to my ability to control myself and rise above my egoism. If I could do this, everything would be fine. If we are a little tired of each other, we move away from each other and later we move closer and so on. This is a big problem.

This is exactly the kind of rejection we try to overcome in a Kabbalistic group. We constantly work on this, for many hours a day, without walking away or separating.

Is it possible to oblige a young couple who does not understand anything about the inner work to do this? It is necessary to study Kabbalah for this, to discuss it constantly, and to implement it practically. Where do you see such a family and such an opportunity?

Can you imagine, in what state people were, 2,000 years ago when they had to implement all of this amongst themselves? Therefore, it is not surprising that their spiritual unity, called the First and the Second Temples, fell apart.

Comment: Today, we have reached such a state that all marriages are falling apart. However, previously we somehow kept this circle.

My Response: This is because, previously, religion was holding people. Today, religion has changed its form so much that only an outer shell remains of it. Although it still holds them but with its last bit of strength, it takes new forms all the time.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 12/21/16

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Class-Action Against Google

laitman_559In the News (NPR): “Systematically paying women less than men. Promoting them more slowly. And denying them opportunities.

“These are the allegations in a lawsuit against Google filed Thursday in San Francisco on behalf of three female former employees.

“They’re seeking class-action status to sue on behalf of all women employed by Google in California over the past four years. ‘The lawsuit appears to be the first to make class action sex bias claims against Google,’ according to Reuters.”

My Comment: We are all different. When we speak about equality, we erase A person’s individuality.

I don’t know what the problem is over there. I don’t want to get involved; it is their business. But if men and women are in any way equalized, I think it would be an insult to both genders.

Try to give a woman a compliment in the same manner you would give a compliment to a man: “Hey, you look normal today…” Can you imagine saying that to a woman?

A woman feels good when you emphasize her unique virtues and not those that are also inherent in men, and in this she is just like a man. You need admire her feminine qualities .

Question: In other words, she is a mother, home, tenderness?

Answer: Yes. She is general everything. She demands attention and respect because that is a woman’s nature. Everything comes from masculine and feminine egoism. A woman, as a desire to receive, as Malchut, has this need. This needs to be respected and understood; this comes to us from nature. We are grown adults, men and women, and we need to understand nature correctly and relate to each other accordingly.

Question: In other words, we can make the following conclusion: there is no equality and it cannot exist?

Answer: Initially from nature, equality cannot exist. If we want it to exist, we need to raise people to a degree where, according to those criteria, they can be equal.

This is what Kabbalah deals with; it equalizes everyone. If I connect with love to all of humanity, then I am the same as everyone else.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman,” 8/10/17

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Why Do Kabbalists Recommend Establishing Families?

laitman_626Question: Kabbalists recommend establishing families. How and why does this influence a person’s spiritual development?

Answer: It could be that in our times this is no longer as relevant as it was in the past. But in principle, the conditions for establishing a family are not derived from material needs that change in each and every generation and especially now, but from the fact that it is because within the framework of life in the family unit in our world, we must become similar to the upper world.

In the upper world, there is always a connection between opposites that are embedded within the physical world as a masculine part and a feminine part. Therefore, there is a requirement for male Kabbalists to marry.

In all times, women wanted to marry while men didn’t always want this. In our time, everything is the opposite. It could be that the men agree to marry, especially since the wisdom of Kabbalah obligates them, while women no longer want to establish families because they believe that it is not imperative for them. Therefore, the problem nevertheless exists.

I relate to this subject simply: If you want to marry, get married, and if you don’t want to, then don’t marry. But if you marry, then choose a partner who will help you in attaining the higher goal.
From a Kabbalah Lesson in  Russian 5/21/17

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How To Come To Spiritual Love In The Family?

Laitman_201_01Question: It is written that “A man and a woman, if rewarded, the Shechina dwells between them, and if not, then it is a devouring fire.” What does it mean?

Answer: This speaks of spiritual states not about our corporeal life. It tells us how to combine two forces—positive and negative, that in Kabbalah are called “man” and “woman”—with the help of the middle line. And then they can complement each other and with the right connection achieve perfection and attainment.

If they do not oppose each other correctly, it will lead to a short circuit, and they “burn in the fire.”

Question: Is it possible to achieve such connection and love between two people?

Answer: If each person confronts his egoism, then the two unite in this power of resistance to their egoism and they take the egoism of the other as their own. We need to change: I care about your egoism and you care about mine.

Question: What allows us to annul our own egoism?

Answer: The importance of the goal, that is, the achievement of the connection.

Question: And so we come to spiritual love?

Answer: We are two egoists that want to achieve spiritual love. Each of us compromises his or hier egoism. Then I take my wife’s ego and she takes mine. Both of us care about one another. It turns out that there is something in common between us: a part of me in her and a part of her in me.

Question: What does it mean to take care of the partner’s egoism?

Answer: A husband is ready to praise his wife and she is ready to praise him. Everyone knows all their partner’s weaknesses and habits and accepts them. One has to love all his wife’s faults, her habits, and she should love his because it is important for them to come to love with this common action. The most important thing is the goal: to come to love. The importance of the goal should always be shining for us.

Spouses have to constantly show an example to each other of the importance of the goal. One has to show that he is doing it for the sake of his wife with the condition that he gets the same attitude in return. This becomes a mutual game where each thinks about the other and understands that as a result of this, he will receive from the partner such an attitude that he will never find in any other place.

And then one will feel that this is what he should do. After all, we are egoists, and we want to profit from everything we do. That’s why it’s important to make something beneficial from the marriage.

Question: And if a partner does not want to annul his egoism? What to do then?

Answer: One has to show an example of how he annuls his ego. The example is the most effective tool.
From the Virtual Lesson “The Time of Kabbalah” 6/20/17

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Do We Need A Family In The Modern World?

laitman_543.02Question from Facebook: In the past, a family was created for economic reasons. Today, a person does not need a family to live and enjoy life. Moreover, it hinders him and just creates problems. So, why start a family?

Answer: Indeed, in the past a man needed a wife to serve him, children to help him in old age, a house to live in, friends, relatives—in general, the closest circle.

A person needed to be supported in trouble, in illness, and eventually be attended to at a funeral. And today he does not need this; there are all kinds of social services that deal with this.

Does one need a wife? No, he does not. He can have a new wife every day. Children? Why does he need children? They grow up and from the age of ten he hardly sees them, only when they ask for money. They have no regard for their parents, and he will not get help from them in old age either.

Today, a person is separated from his natural roots: family, wife, children, parents, and home. Even the place of work no longer is binding. In the past people worked in one place all their lives. Where is all this today?

Question: It turns out that society’s main cell, the family, no longer exists?

Answer: Unfortunately, no one wants anything. Women do not want to marry, do not want to have children, although by nature they have a desire for children, a husband, a family, and a home.

Question: So do we need a family in the long run or not?

Answer: Whether we need it or not need depends on the goal. If the goal justifies the means, then the means is necessary, and if not, then there’s no need for it.

Question: Do you mean that now humanity has such goals that it does not need a family?

Answer: Of course. But if I know that to achieve the goal I need a family, then I will create it and will cherish it.

Humanity must acquire a goal, and then it will understand how to live and whether it is necessary to live. Today, many people in the world are questioning whether it is worth living.

Separation of children from their parents is subconsciously taking place also because they are troubled by the question: “Why did my parents bring me into the world? So that I would hang out in life and suffer? I’m useless; nobody needs me—not me or others. Wait till I die? For this they gave birth to me? They enjoyed it, and they did it for their own delight, but I have no enjoyment from life. So give me some drugs and I will somehow exist.”

Question: What should be the goal in life for the sake of which a family is needed?

Answer: The goal for which a family is needed is to reach the next level of existence: complete, eternal, infinite, and giving absolute attainment. We cannot imagine this and do not even want to imagine it. We are tired of everything! That is why it is very difficult to explain this to people.

We need to break out of life for our own sake—this is our limitation. As soon as we feel that there is another method of existence, it will become much easier for us.

In this case, a family is needed because it is one of the systems of similarity to the upper system of nature. To move to the upper goal, one must get married, have a family and children, especially men.

And the goal is to reach the next level of existence, when we replace egoistic existence with an altruistic one. This reveals completely different depths of nature, existence in other dimensions, when not our universe is a home for us, but an entirely different universe.

Question: How are relations in the family adjusted then?

Answer: They are adjusted only in accordance with what a person sees as the goal of his upper existence. Guided by this, the family is kept and children are raised. Otherwise, nothing will exist.

Question: Does the concept of love exist in a family that has a purpose?

Answer: Love is the correct relationship that allows you to achieve this ultimate goal. And nothing more.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 5/15/17

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Sex, Love, Test Tubes And Nature

laitman_546.03In the News (Quartz): “It doesn’t take long for seemingly outlandish ideas to become normalized. Today, Stanford University professor Hank Greely’s assertion that Americans will stop having sex to procreate sounds absurd. But in a couple of decades, he predicts, that will be the accepted reality.

“Greely, director of Stanford Law School’s Center for Law and the Biosciences, believes that we’re 20 to 30 years away from a time when most American procreation will begin by selecting from a range of embryos created with the parents’ DNA in a lab. This already happens on a limited basis for disease prevention and occasionally sex selection, but he argues it will become far cheaper and widely available thanks to stem cell technology that will allow couples to make eggs and sperm out of stem cells from their skin.”

My Comment: We should welcome this option if a person suffers from an incurable disease so as not to pass it on to his offspring. In addition, the condition of the father or mother can be tested and necessary changes can be made. We can do it. We already have such “tweezers” that enable us to raise a good and healthy generation. Humanity has always aspired for that.

Basically, if every person were allowed to have healthy, beautiful, strong, and successful children, he would want that. So it is quite possible that we are advancing toward that.

Question: So what is the meaning of conceiving with love?

Answer: What does love have to do with it?! When it comes to conceiving, we are like animals; we only confuse the two things! Is there love between animals? They smell each other and the smell alone is enough in order to tell them whether they can reproduce. It isn’t sex but the culture. For cats, for example, it is spring time, and during the rest of the year they just lie tranquilly in the sun. That’s the way it is with animals. 

And we confuse pleasure with reproduction. Sex is a pleasure just like good food. Why should it be connected to having children? Today we see how much one has nothing to do with the other. We hardly want to conceive one child! Why should we have sex for 50 years?

Comment: Humanity sees things in a totally different manner…

Answer: No, it doesn’t see things differently. Humanity simply doesn’t understand where it already is. Love doesn’t go along with sex, and reproduction has nothing to do with love or even with sex.

Question: What is a corrected family in your opinion?

Answer: It is very hard for me to describe a corrected family since in such a family there are first and foremost good relations between its members above all the problems.

We have to change our attitude to people and this will change our whole life. Then we will see how to maintain a good family life. But without changing our attitude, of course, it will certainly be awful.

Question: With such kind, ideal relationships in the corrected family, what will be the attitude to having children? Let’s say we are a couple living by the rule of love of others…

Answer: I think that if we truly relate to each other that way, then nature itself will begin to regulate humanity and our mutual relations. We will not connect beastliness with being human, and we will see life in a totally different way.

We cannot understand that today. Today we are locked on the beastly life and the beastly family, on the need to be together in order to exist, to survive, to raise children. In the corrected family, on the other hand, there will be a totally different atmosphere.

So it is hard for me to say, but there will be completely different relationships between sex, family, love, and reproduction according to the law of nature. According to the rule of “love thy friend as thyself,” we will see exactly what is best for us.

Question: Will there be a need for pills or any other contraceptives?

Answer: No. Everything will be regulated by nature alone. We only have to regulate the good relations between us.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 7/6/17

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No Comment…

laitman_272Question from Facebook: You recently published an article about the fact that women don’t want to have children and that their maternal instinct is fading. I didn’t understand why this call is to women and about women. Do women get pregnant by themselves and decide to have a child by themselves?

Have you checked with men whether they want kids; whether they want to bring up children and invest energy, money, care and the attention they deserve? If you haven’t, it sounds as if there is a separate state in which there are only women who have become egoists.

Answer: Neither men nor women are responsible for this situation, but all of society, which does not understand the purpose of life.

Society has become so egoistic that very soon robots will replace everyone. Everyone will have his own fully equipped and automatic apartment, and without leaving it, a person will feel as if he is on Mt. Elbrus in Switzerland or anywhere else, enjoying the fresh smell of a forest, the ocean, or anything one wishes.

While lying in bed, a person will be able to feel the warm sand as if he is lying on the beach, or to smell the campfire he is sitting around with friends. All these feelings will be conveyed to him by robots, by huge screens hanging on the four walls of his home.

At the same time, he will not owe anyone anything. A person will not need women, men, or children, no one… Moreover, if a couple of electrodes are attached to his head, he will feel happy even if all of the above did not happen. So what should one live for? It is better simply to not exist.

We will soon see advertisements on the Internet saying: “If you don’t want this fate, if you don’t want to exist, sign up.” This is what we are being led to, and it all begins from the lack of desire to have a family, to have kids, and to continue the human race.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 6/22/17

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Compromising Is The Best Remedy For Divorce

laitman_627_1Question: In our time, when divorces have become so frequent, what is the recipe for a happy marriage?

Answer: My teacher Rabash used to say that compromising is the key to a happy family life. Everybody should give way to the other—in everything! And then it will become possible to live together, and without it, not. Concessions and patience make a huge difference.

Question: What exactly does one need to concede?

Answer: We have to step on our own egoism and annul ourselves before our partner: to disregard our pride and to concede. This is the only way we can coexist in the family.

After all, everyone has enormous egoism and cannot tolerate one another, and as a result, the family falls apart after a year or two. We see that young people change partners not even every month, but almost every week and every day.

Therefore, if we want to be able to live together, we have to learn how to compromise. Our nature is just egoism. Everyone wants to establish himself and be above others. In the beginning, we are still ready to give up something, but then we get used to each other and do not want to give in. And this is the whole secret.

If we are not ready to compromise, then we should not start a family. That’s why divorces happen everywhere. People cannot live together for a long time. I understand this problem, because I also saw a lot of couples getting divorced. And yet I think that none of them eventually found a better partner than the former one. We just need to find some form of co-existence, especially if there are children, and to compromise to each other in some way.

Question: Is there such a thing as two halves of a soul, when the pair is already appointed from above?

Answer: It happens only in beautiful novels.

Question: Do you think that it is possible to connect any man and woman and they will be able to create a good family?

Answer: If we start good courses to educate boys and girls on family relationships and properly prepare them, erasing all negative habits and examples obtained at home and teach them correct habits, then practically any pair can create a family that will live happily together for many years.
From the Webinar 6/20/17

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How To Achieve Love?

laitman_572_02Question: How can we achieve love in practice?

Answer: If you make efforts and see that you cannot do anything, you are reminded of the Creator and that He must help. When you turn to Him, you see how He arranges everything. This way the love for the Creator will come to you.

You will begin to see that He has prepared all the obstacles for you, all the problems and troubles, with such love, devotion, and care. You will start feeling love for the Creator because “love will cover all sins.” After all, you will see that He has never done you any harm.

When love is revealed and covers all evil, you see that evil has never existed. It only seemed to you that this problem existed, and now you see that it does not. It had to be this way so that you could reveal love.

This also happens in our world. Sometimes you argue with someone—say, with your wife. You are burning with anger! And then you make up, and it seems to you that everything that happened was just a folly and there was nothing important in it. And then you ask yourself how could you want to leave and divorce over such a little thing.

That is life. But what have you attained? You attained that everything that happened was as if unreal and now you are enjoying intimacy even more. This does not teach you too much for the future, so sometimes you will argue again.

That is, if we treat what is happening to us in our lives, our family, and any other place in such a way that it comes to us from the Creator so that we learn to cover everything with love, we will see a completely different life.
From the Convention In Brazil “Day Two” 4/30/17, Lesson 9

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