Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Let’s Start Changing Ourselves!

Laitman_631_3Question: What is the spiritual root of resentment? I am very touchy. I cannot cope with the emotions from being constantly offended by my husband. How do I learn to forgive?

Answer: What is the connection to your husband? The Creator is playing with you like this! He is pulling your strings. No one else is around you! Through this entire theater that is being portrayed for you, you are being influenced by the Creator, the upper force.

Begin to respond to Him, not to those puppets that surround you. I am not belittling their importance in any way, but only am saying that this is the way reality should be perceived.

After all, who is this person? No one and nothing. This is just a small mechanism, like a clockwork toy.

But, to the same degree that one begins to awaken, to invite higher influence upon oneself, and it begins to work within him, then one is changed. One becomes an Adam (Man). Then, one no longer jumps like a clockwork bunny. Instead, one begins to operate and move forward independently.

Therefore, you must not be offended by your husband or be angry with yourself that you cannot avoid being offended, etc. Let’s change ourselves with the help of the upper force!

Imagine that someone achieves the level of the Creator and begins to feel everything that He is doing within him: why He created him like this and what he must do with himself. It gradually becomes clear: I must become like the Creator! Nothing more and nothing less.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 8/21/16

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Babel—The Second Round, Part 2

laitman_933Question: What is the special force of attraction in the tribe?

Answer: A tribe is a womb, a mother, and a place where I can feel confident and secure. We are constituted by nature so that when we are among relatives we don’t worry about anything. Even if there is nothing to eat and the future is unknown, even if there is a war, I am inside the general force of nature that protects me.

This is also a psychological protection anyone understands. It is felt even if we come from a big city to a small town. Apart from this, the sense of security comes not from people, but from nature in general. Nature is like a big mother, and I am inside a little mother—my tribe.

Family is the smallest tribe. A person comes home into a warm family atmosphere and all the troubles and problems of the big world calm down. At least for an evening he can forget about all his problems and enjoy family comfort and companionship. He was stressed, but here he as if lands on a cushion of air, on a warm, calm, soft cloud.

This feeling is necessary for a person, especially for a man. A woman, because she is closer to nature, can deal with problems more easily than a man. Men are brave and eager to fight, but it is from fear of the problems and insecurity.

The woman in the family, although she can appear worried externally, in fact is the source of strength and calmness. Man receives the feeling of calmness in the family from a woman, and it helps him balance his life and relieve pressure and stress.

The tribe is exactly that shell, that frame, that is specifically designed for a person to live inside of and not to come out. The exit from the single tribe and division into many nations happened in ancient Babylon when great egoism erupted in people and they could no longer understand each other. Then they began to disperse throughout the globe, increasing the distance from each other because they began to quarrel.

If at that time they could have overcome their increased egoism, they would have retained their tribal ties on a higher level, above the increasingly growing egoism. Then they would have discovered the inner force within themselves, the positive force of nature that balances the negative force of egoism.

This is the secret of the mother’s womb; there is a positive force that we have yet to discover. If people followed the advice of Abraham in ancient Babylon, they would have discovered the upper force, the positive force of nature.

But since they followed their egoism, they dispersed from Babylon in all directions and until today each nation feels itself completely separated. Even among the people who initially lived as a single tribe, no unity remains.

The more egoism grew, the more a person instinctively moved away from others so our egoistic interests wouldn’t face each other. This is how the the modern world was created.

However, in the last 30 to 40 years, the world became global and integral like a small village and our egos our pushed together again. So what have we achieved over 3.500 years? We thought we were making our lives better and more comfortable, but it turned out that we returned to what we left and it became even worse.

Instead of few million Babylonians, today there are billions of people on Earth who can’t get along with each other. Our egoism won’t allow us to live in peace. It turns out that we will have to follow the advice Abraham gave in ancient Babylon and build the tribe between us that has to exist even if it was destroyed 3,500 years ago.
From KabTVs Program “A New Life” #794 11/29/16

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The Power of Women is Huge




The Pope: “A new Hitler may arise in Europe.” It is today’s extreme liberalism that has created extreme nationalism, isn’t it?

If women truly wish for a better world, it will come true. Not by protests though, by pushing for unity above all differences.
From Twitter, 1/23/17

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Good Relations Between A Man And A Woman

Laitman_115Question: How can a good relationship and the feeling of the right connection be the perfect fulflillment for my wife?

Answer: A man’s good, positive attitude toward a woman will certainly fill her! There is nothing better than giving a woman attention since eventually she will realize that she doesn’t see it anywhere else and will want to be with you.

If a woman is attentive to a man and shows her concern for him and takes care of him, he will feel that she replaces his mother and will not be able to break away from her.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/9/16

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Women Warriors

laitman_546_04In the News (The Wall Street Journal): As more Israeli women push to join combat units, the military is opening more roles to them, but the moves have met resistance among some former soldiers and the religious community. …

“’I think that in the end the woman’s role is to be a mother and to bring children into the world,’ retired Brig. Gen Avigdor Kahalani, a former Israeli tank commander, told Army Radio last month.”

Question:  Soon afterward Kahalani was accused of chauvinism and of wanting women to stay in the kitchen serving the home and the family. What is your opinion on this matter?

Answer: I believe that General Kahalani is right. We cannot go against nature. It is above us and we cannot change it.

A woman is a woman. She should be a homemaker, give birth, and do housework, not shoot. It is not for her. That’s the way it should be according to the Torah and the wisdom of Kabbalah. Therefore, I advise we stop this in time. We have enough manpower to recruit only men to the army.

Question: Don’t you fear that women will be offended?

Answer: Of course not. It all depends on their upbringing. I am not demeaning them; I am only saying that we are different.

I served in the army for four years and can say I don’t see any point in men and women serving together in military units and especially not in combat units. It is a great responsibility.

Men should fight, but this is not for women. Their business is the home, family, giving birth. I am speaking from the perspective of Kabbalah and nature. Women may come to their senses only in another 30-35 years, after having made many mistakes, but they will not succeed in going against nature. Not with anything, and all the more so in this matter.

We mar human nature, both men’s nature and women’s nature. We have to distinguish between the two, and only then will our society function properly.

We are special creatures, both men and women, and we have to protect the female nature.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 11/23/16

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A Bad Marriage Is Better Than A Good Divorce

laitman_543_02Question: Why do women feel more dependent on their husbands more before the divorce and men feel more dependent on women after the divorce?

Answer: I generally think that a bad marriage is better that a good divorce. When a couple is married, the man wants to be free because he feels that his wife is like a prison guard who follows him and constantly limits him. And when he gets divorced, he feels he lacks these “chains.” There are advantages and disadvantages to everything.

We have to know how to get along with each other. We need to understand the nature of man who wishes to escape like a little boy, and on the other hand, still wants to return to his wife and rest in her lap like a little boy in his mother’s lap. We are all naturally built in very different ways.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/9/16

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Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 6/26/16

Laitman_630_2Question: Should a husband and a wife study in the same Kabbalah group or is it better if they study in separate groups?

Answer: They should study in the same group since men and women have different groups of ten any way.

Question: What is the right prayer for my husband?

Answer: Creator! I am asking you to help my husband be closer to me,” and that’s all!

Question: How should we avoid imposing our spiritual states, our egoistic assessments, and our personal views on to each other? How should I respond if my wife shares her feelings about the lessons with me?

Answer: You should treat her as your friend and not as your wife. When you engage in spiritual work, she is your friend and this is a small group for the two of you.

Question: Is the family at risk in the corporeal sense if a husband and a wife in the spiritual sense are both men?

Answer: No, they mutually impact each other each according to each one’s spiritual essence. What is more, their spiritual essence has nothing to do with corporeality. Therefore there is no nullification, but rather the opposite, they can express themselves better in the male or the female form, but it is important to support and keep the corporeal family life.

Question: How does the wisdom of Kabbalah explain unity and the struggle between opposites?

Answer: There is no struggle between opposites. There is only struggle for unity.

Question: Is the point in the heart a male or a female attribute?

Answer: The point in the heart is considered a male attribute. It isn’t a man in our world, but the attribute of bestowal, which can be typical of women just like men.

Question: Is there a difference between the words “friend” and “companion” according to the wisdom of Kabbalah?

Answer: No, friend, buddy, and companion are synonymous. What is important is the relationship, the connection, the yearning for a connection between you and the Creator.

Question: What is betrayal in the spiritual path?

Answer: A change of intention from bestowal and yearning for the Creator to the opposite direction.

Question: What are the criteria according to which a woman should choose a husband in order to build a family?

Answer: First, they have to be physically compatible to each other, and second, they have to have a desire to mutually concede to each other.

Question: What can you wish for our men?

Answer: Let’s learn to give in to our women, but I would also like to say the same thing to the women. Mutual consent is what builds the right connection between friends, in a family, and between our children and us. Let’s all learn this. Good luck and happiness to all of you!
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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Maturation Of Men

Laitman_036In the News (The Telegraph): “Men finally grow up at the age of 43 – a full 11 years after women ‘mature’, according to a new survey.

“A study into the differences in maturity between genders revealed both men and women agree men remain ‘immature’ well into their late 30s and early 40s.

“But the average age at which women mature emerged as 32.

“Alarmingly, eight out of ten women believe that men ‘never stop being childish’…”

My Comment: During my childhood when I looked at the girls in my class, I was surprised at how early they matured in their thinking and their outlook on life. I felt that I was still far from them. I was very interested in understanding the enormous difference that exists between boys and girls. Girls have an attitude toward life like little women, whereas boys are only interested in soccer, volleyball, etc. Males’ development occurs much later, if ever.

Today it is difficult for a woman to find a partner and marry a man who will provide her with a feeling of support. She wants a man by her side who will give her a feeling of support, psychological support more than physical, because in the modern world a woman can provide everything for herself materially, but simple psychological support is imperative for her. Unfortunately, men do not receive the appropriate training for this.

Question: Why is the maturity of men in our day so impeded?

Answer: It is because we are living much longer, our lives don’t require us to mature. A man can remain in his parents’ home all his life, do any kind of work for a salary, and live with peace of mind. Everything is ready for him, electrical appliances and prepared food; he doesn’t need anything more than this.

I don’t think the age of 40 is the line at which he becomes a man. I see that today even men at the age of 50-60 are still children. They don’t want to take on any responsibility, shoulder any burdens, or work for the family.

A woman is ready to take responsibility for the sake of a family and children. A man is not ready even for that.

We must educate a person to be a spiritual person so that he will understand that he has a higher goal and must create a particular environment around him for this. He needs to understand why he exists and how to build himself.

If we begin to educate him this way, he will begin to mature at the age of 15-20, and toward the age of 20, he will have already been shaped into a man.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 12/5/16

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Regarding Men, Women, And Corrected Souls

laitman_622_01Question: Why must all of the men listen to the morning lessons live, while the women can do so later? Is it because they are more corrected?

Answer: It is because we are different from each other.

Question: Are women more “corrected” than men? Does a “higher plan” specifically insert more corrected souls into the bodies of women?

Answer: Yes, they are more corrected; they don’t feel their flaws.

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Actions And Intentions

laitman_624_03_0Question: How is it possible to differentiate between spiritual characteristics and beastly characteristics?

Answer: The intention determines everything. On one hand, a person can think about something sublime or be involved with music, painting, or literature and experience creative suffering, all of these with the goal of becoming famous and fulfilling himself intellectually and emotionally because a large ego is motivating him. All great people were very big egoists, because in order to reach the heights of achievement one requires a great egoistic power, a longing for advancement.

On the other hand, it is possible for a person to be involved with something very simple, a small business, but his intention is bestowal, like a person who gathers a group of children and involves them with music, intending to develop them. Characteristics themselves are neutral. Everything depends on the intent. So without knowing what the intention is, it is impossible to determine the nature of the activity. Nobody knows the feelings and motivations of another person; it is even difficult for a person himself to determine what the true motivation for his deeds are. The wisdom of Kabbalah is called the “Hidden Wisdom,” because a person’s intention is concealed from strangers.

Question: Which characteristics does a man need to attain the power of bestowal?

Answer: In spirituality, the gender of the physical body is unimportant. When a person bestows, he is called “male,” and when he receives, even though he is physically a male, in our world he is called “female.” That is how the wisdom of Kabbalah determines the spiritual gender of a person.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 6/26/16

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