Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Men And Women, The Structure Of Humanity

laitman_627_1Question: How should a woman study the wisdom of Kabbalah correctly?

Answer: Spiritual and corporeal concepts of the male and female parts differ profoundly from each other.

A soul is a person’s yearning for love and bestowal above his egoism.

Thus, we cannot say that a man in our world is the part that bestows and a woman is the part that receives. There cannot be a distinction here because, in our world, both are egoists.

But whoever acquires the attribute of bestowal and love of others is called the male part in the spiritual sense, the one who bestows, and whoever is still in the egoistic desire to enjoy, to be filled, is called the female part.

Therefore, we are all women from a spiritual perspective. Those who transcend to the spiritual world, through what we call the Machsom (barrier), will be called men. Above the Machsom, everyone is a man. There, everyone has a female part, a desire, and a male part, a Masach, an intention, because you cannot have one without the other.

If I read a Kabbalistic book, and something is written about men and women, then it must be specifically imagined that a woman and a man mean the property of receiving or the quality of bestowal—in any of the people, regardless of gender.

As for our world, the physiological attributes are different, and we have a big problem with that.

It comes down to the fact that in our world, a woman differs from a man in her corporeal egoistic attributes. And so her entrance into Kabbalah is special, not like in men.

She should achieve the same state as a man, but move to this in a different way, providing great help to men, fulfilling her role as the one who continues the generation, takes care of the family and the home. A man should be the provider.  He must study, and a woman is responsible for the home. That is her work.

I am explaining how humanity was created, and there is nothing we can do about it. We cannot swap a man and woman, or destroy gender. No matter how developed we are, the male and the female natures differ externally in our world and we must take that into account.

We have different thoughts, different worldviews, different feelings, and different needs in the family. This is the reason that we must act accordingly, and not imagine that we are living above our world in a state where there is no distinction between the genders.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 12/4/16

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Whom Do Men Marry?

laitman_564In the News (Legacy Project – Cornell):I’ve spent time over the past year talking with young people about their hopes for marriage. And the question that comes up more than any other is: ‘How do I know if the person is the right one for me?’ Is there a way to tell if someone is likely to be a compatible long-term mate, or a difficult and contentious partner?

“Sounds complicated, right? But in our interviews with hundreds of long-married couples about what works and what doesn’t for a long and satisfying relationship, one simple and straightforward answer emerged again and again. It turns out that our elders believe there’s something close to a ‘magic bullet’ when it comes to deciding in a relationship: ‘Should I stay or should I go?’ And it all comes down to similarity. …

“Based on their long experiences both in and out of romantic relationships, the fundamental lesson is this: You are much more likely to have a satisfying marriage for a lifetime when you and your mate are fundamentally similar. And if you’re very different, the elders warn although that marriage can work, is likely to be much more difficult.”

Question: Does this have a spiritual root?

Answer: Of course, those who are alike are attracted to each other in every aspect of life.

Question: Does breaking this rule have any implications?

Answer: In such cases it is very difficult to adapt yourself to that person because you have to get used to him and understand him. After all, psychology, ideology, awareness, insight, and tastes require a close match, which none of us, being egoists, wants to do because it involves an enormous expenditure of energy. If people connect, they have to choose someone they can understand very well. Men usually subconsciously choose women who resemble their mothers and women choose men who resemble their fathers.

I wish you all to find the half that is right for you.

Question: Is the Creator the right half for us?

Answer: In order to become His half, we need to resemble the Creator. In this case, the same rule applies—the law of similarity, equivalence of form. We should bestow and love to the extent that He does, and by acquiring this attribute, we get closer to Him.

Question: Do I have to feel that the Creator gives and bestows?

Answer: We begin to feel Him to the extent that we acquire this attribute.

As for marriage, we can take an example from religious families. They marry men and women from their environment, who have been brought up in the same way. They don’t need to learn what their spouse likes or doesn’t like, what he/she is used to, or what kind of life they will lead.

They have seen all that at home and will continue to live this way in their family. They match each other from the start. They resemble each other and so they co-exist without any unpleasant surprises. This is what similarity means. In Orthodox families it works 100%.

Therefore, it is preferable to choose a partner according to likeness. If we could screen young people and see the resemblance and equivalence between them according to certain criteria, it would be clear whether they were suitable marriage partners or not.

All their assurances that they love each other, do not mean anything.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 11/1/16

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New Life #816 – Conflicts In Relationships

New Life #816 – Conflicts In Relationships
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz


Why are conflicts essential in a relationship? What is the right way of coping with opposing opinions in a relationship and how does it build a new level in the relationship?

We become equal when we reach a mutual agreement that the importance of the connection between us is above everything.
From KabTV’s “New Life #816 –Conflicts In Relationships,” 1/24/17

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About The Main Desire Of Women

laitman_286Nature has given us, men and women, a real gift from above – our differences. Due to these differences, by connecting correctly, we can not only live happily, but can also solve the “riddle number one,” for which this world was created….

It is very symbolic that we are celebrating two holidays simultaneously, Purim and March 8th [International Women’s Day], at the center of which stands a woman. Esther is indeed a wonderful image of a woman who discovers her nature deep within herself.

Modestly, without emphasizing herself, hiding her desires, is concerned not only about her husband, children, and home, but the entire world as well. She is the cause, the central axis, which through her desires drives the entire mechanism of creation, desires its perfection, and she herself becomes perfected.

Nature has endowed woman with the main property, the immense desire of all of creation. But to fulfill her desire, she needs a man. A real man, who as a representative of the Creator, is ready to fulfill the boundless desire of the woman.

The woman wants her man to become like the Creator, ascending to His level, becoming a provider, loving, possessing only one intention, not thinking of himself, but wanting to fulfill her desire, and in fact, the desire of the Creator. The woman supports a man in his true masculine work of overcoming his egoistic nature. The woman delicately but persistently inspires a man, pushes him toward growth and development, to accommodate her desires and the desires of the man, transforming these desires and making them harmonious, complementing each other.

Today, not always and not everyone can succeed in living according to our inherent natural characteristics. A woman controls a society, aiming her desires toward compensating for the deficiencies of men in all areas of human activity. A woman can always give a man useful advice because she has a much better intuition than he does.

However, regardless of external successes or failures, a woman deeply feels the need for true fulfillment. Her uncontrollable desire will necessarily be turned toward the source of this fulfillment and the wisdom of Kabbalah, which is the method for how to truly become happy herself, providing happiness to her man, children, relatives, and the whole world.

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New Life #415 – Marriage

New Life #415 – Marriage
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe


A person is rewarded with a spiritual life in the connection of marriage. How does a couple who have a spiritual connection behave and what is the filling that they both receive from it?

What is marriage beyond an economic agreement?

The thought and desire are powerful forces that operate on our whole reality. So to understand what connection is, we have to add that the goal of the marriage is that our relationship should bring us spiritual elevation.

Everyone buys a partner for the future spiritual state they are about to acquire. This is a spiritual connection. Spiritual means discovering the system of forces that manage the world and discovering the Shechina (Divinity).

A couple becomes one by the efforts of each side to nullify himself with regard to the other. Then they discover that they cannot do it since they are both egoists and they need the upper force to connect them. Then the force of love and connection, the upper force, the general force of nature, is revealed between them. And it is written: “a man and a woman, if they achieved (their goal), Shechina is between them.”
From KabTV’s “New Life #415 – Marriage,” 7/3/14

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New Life #414 – The Institution Of Marriage Today

New Life #414 – The Institution Of Marriage Today
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe


What happened to the institution of marriage that it is disintegrating? What attitude we should develop as a result of our commitment to marriage and can spiritual connection improve our relations?

In the past a person was committed to marriage in order to live a normal life, but today it is not the case. A couple needs to build the connection between them before the wedding, after the commitment of marriage, they stop.

The institution of marriage today requires re-examination. It can continue to exist only if we add a spiritual value to it. A spiritual married life means an internal commitment to provide each other with spiritual support.
From KabTV’s “New Life #414 – Relations: The Institution Of Marriage Today,” 7/3/14

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Sex Is Important

laitman_543_02Question from Facebook: Why are people so interested in sex and in the mutual relations between the two sexes? It seems that this is the only thing people are interested in.

Answer: They say that love and hunger make the world go round. If hunger no longer manages the world because there is actually enough food for everyone, what is left which can fill a person is love.

A person’s desire is to enjoy. It is the essences of his existence. This is how we are programmed. If we could turn off this program inside us, the world would be totally different. Radio, TV, sports, arts, science, everything would be totally different.

Sex is a person’s greatest desire. We cannot even imagine how everything that we do is actually subconsciously sex-oriented. Everything that we do stems from our internal sexual inclination. It is the basis of our behavior.

What is more, it isn’t about the kind of sex that we understand as corporeal coupling but about a yearning for a filling by something that is opposite from me, just like a plus yearns for a minus. All of a person’s thoughts are absolutely sexually directed.

What do we mean by sex? On the one hand there is the desire, the need (even in food), and, on the other hand, the filling. According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, sex is referred to as Zivug de Hakaa (mating).

So it all depends on the level at which we examine this concept. On the physiological level of the corporeal bodies, we call it sex; whereas, on the lower level of the still or vegetative nature or the higher level of spirituality, it is called coupling.

If a person who knows nothing about the wisdom of Kabbalah begins to read Kabbalah books, he comes across many sexual concepts such as: coupling, upper kiss, lower kiss, practically the Kama Sutra.

It is actually because sex is at the basis of our desire that the wisdom of Kabbalah refers to it in such direct, very accurate, and correct language. If you wish to read a good sexual novel, you can read the The Study of the Ten Sefirot.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 12/28/16

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Let’s Start Changing Ourselves!

Laitman_631_3Question: What is the spiritual root of resentment? I am very touchy. I cannot cope with the emotions from being constantly offended by my husband. How do I learn to forgive?

Answer: What is the connection to your husband? The Creator is playing with you like this! He is pulling your strings. No one else is around you! Through this entire theater that is being portrayed for you, you are being influenced by the Creator, the upper force.

Begin to respond to Him, not to those puppets that surround you. I am not belittling their importance in any way, but only am saying that this is the way reality should be perceived.

After all, who is this person? No one and nothing. This is just a small mechanism, like a clockwork toy.

But, to the same degree that one begins to awaken, to invite higher influence upon oneself, and it begins to work within him, then one is changed. One becomes an Adam (Man). Then, one no longer jumps like a clockwork bunny. Instead, one begins to operate and move forward independently.

Therefore, you must not be offended by your husband or be angry with yourself that you cannot avoid being offended, etc. Let’s change ourselves with the help of the upper force!

Imagine that someone achieves the level of the Creator and begins to feel everything that He is doing within him: why He created him like this and what he must do with himself. It gradually becomes clear: I must become like the Creator! Nothing more and nothing less.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 8/21/16

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Babel—The Second Round, Part 2

laitman_933Question: What is the special force of attraction in the tribe?

Answer: A tribe is a womb, a mother, and a place where I can feel confident and secure. We are constituted by nature so that when we are among relatives we don’t worry about anything. Even if there is nothing to eat and the future is unknown, even if there is a war, I am inside the general force of nature that protects me.

This is also a psychological protection anyone understands. It is felt even if we come from a big city to a small town. Apart from this, the sense of security comes not from people, but from nature in general. Nature is like a big mother, and I am inside a little mother—my tribe.

Family is the smallest tribe. A person comes home into a warm family atmosphere and all the troubles and problems of the big world calm down. At least for an evening he can forget about all his problems and enjoy family comfort and companionship. He was stressed, but here he as if lands on a cushion of air, on a warm, calm, soft cloud.

This feeling is necessary for a person, especially for a man. A woman, because she is closer to nature, can deal with problems more easily than a man. Men are brave and eager to fight, but it is from fear of the problems and insecurity.

The woman in the family, although she can appear worried externally, in fact is the source of strength and calmness. Man receives the feeling of calmness in the family from a woman, and it helps him balance his life and relieve pressure and stress.

The tribe is exactly that shell, that frame, that is specifically designed for a person to live inside of and not to come out. The exit from the single tribe and division into many nations happened in ancient Babylon when great egoism erupted in people and they could no longer understand each other. Then they began to disperse throughout the globe, increasing the distance from each other because they began to quarrel.

If at that time they could have overcome their increased egoism, they would have retained their tribal ties on a higher level, above the increasingly growing egoism. Then they would have discovered the inner force within themselves, the positive force of nature that balances the negative force of egoism.

This is the secret of the mother’s womb; there is a positive force that we have yet to discover. If people followed the advice of Abraham in ancient Babylon, they would have discovered the upper force, the positive force of nature.

But since they followed their egoism, they dispersed from Babylon in all directions and until today each nation feels itself completely separated. Even among the people who initially lived as a single tribe, no unity remains.

The more egoism grew, the more a person instinctively moved away from others so our egoistic interests wouldn’t face each other. This is how the the modern world was created.

However, in the last 30 to 40 years, the world became global and integral like a small village and our egos our pushed together again. So what have we achieved over 3.500 years? We thought we were making our lives better and more comfortable, but it turned out that we returned to what we left and it became even worse.

Instead of few million Babylonians, today there are billions of people on Earth who can’t get along with each other. Our egoism won’t allow us to live in peace. It turns out that we will have to follow the advice Abraham gave in ancient Babylon and build the tribe between us that has to exist even if it was destroyed 3,500 years ago.
From KabTVs Program “A New Life” #794 11/29/16

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My Thoughts On Twitter, 1/23/17


The Power of Women is Huge




The Pope: “A new Hitler may arise in Europe.” It is today’s extreme liberalism that has created extreme nationalism, isn’t it?

If women truly wish for a better world, it will come true. Not by protests though, by pushing for unity above all differences.
From Twitter, 1/23/17

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