Family Life — A Negotiated System

Remark: To prevent conflicts in the family, Kabbalists recommend establishing a clear framework and boundaries in the relationship in advance, not forgetting to remind about them, and not being afraid to give signals to your partner if they are violated.

My Comment: Family life is an agreement which, of course, can change. However, it is still a contractual system.

Two people enter into a contract with each other, which is continuous, constantly changing and developing. They are then joined by children, common property, and influences on each other that greatly increase their impressions of this life, family, and so on.

That is, we have the constant expansion of the terms of the contract. Therefore, we need to discuss them all the time.

Remark: In principle, the same agreement also exists in a Kabbalistic group between friends, between like-minded people. Yet, it seems to me that there is much more communication and interaction in the family than in the Kabbalistic group. At least economically and emotionally.

In a group of like-minded people, we are connected only by the same idea, which is still abstract and does not exist in our feelings.

My Comment: If it is possible to create such a connection, such unity in the couple, it could be a very serious incentive for achieving a spiritual goal.

Question: Does it mean, that if both people agree we can take all the principles of the work in the group about which Rabash writes and apply them in the family?

Answer: It is very hard, but possible.

Question: Do I understand correctly that it is much harder to use them in the family than in the group?

Answer: I do not know. It is very hard for me to talk about this. Although I see a few such successful examples among my students and I am glad about them, so far these are a few isolated cases.

Question: Would you still recommend couples to work this way?

Answer: Yes and no. The problem is that a man must first master himself in a male group.

We see this from history. When he becomes a man, meaning he is in the group of men where he begins to receive contact with the Creator, then he can correctly connect with the right woman. It is not simple.

Question: Does the work in a family replace the work in a group?

Answer: I would not advise beginning work in the family until a person has seriously adjusted himself in the group.
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From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 12/31/18

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