Question: Why does the spiritual path look like a retreat to me as if I am becoming more remote from the Light?

Answer: That’s right. Until a person has acquired a full measure of need in finding the Creator, he will discover, over and over again, how far he is removed from the Light.

It looks like digression, but in this case, you should understand the following: I will enter the spiritual world only when my desire is completely formed, when I will be willing to do anything for it, when our world no longer interests me, and when I will decide to put everything on the card. I will no longer demand anything for myself, not a single response. To do this, a person must be able to see how well he is advancing in this, aspiring to it with more zest, and how he still doesn’t merit it, the two opposites linked as one.

So, examine yourself: Are you walking the right path? Or are you running from the conflict of the two opposite feelings? This is the way we must advance.
[29137]
From 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/8/10, The Zohar

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