Question: How can I want to feel another person? Inside, a person is full of pain, humiliation, fears; I am terrified by the thought that someone will feel me.
Answer: You are not told to feel the pain, humiliation, or fears of other people! Rather you should feel the point in the heart [1] in a person, his yearning for the Creator [2]! It is only through this that he is your friend. Everything else, his body or his ego [3], doesn’t affect you at all. You shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself and engage in self-flagellation. You are full of flaws just like everyone else in this world.
So we connect with each other with the points in the heart, through yearning for the Creator. Everything else is seemingly left below. We only elevate these points and connect them with each other.
In everything else we are egoists, like all the rest of the people on the planet because the Creator created us with an egoistic desire and we cannot be good. That is also what is written: “I created the evil inclination; I created the Torah as a spice for it, for the Light in it will return it to the good” (see Kiddushin 30b).
Before we begin to correct ourselves we are totally bad, completely negative, so much so that we cannot even imagine it—each one of us. So you can relax, for you truly are completely wicked. But now we need to be corrected by attracting the upper Light. We are not saying that we must correct the evil in ourselves; rather, the Upper Light gradually arrives, corrects, and balances the evil through its goodness.
[193615]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 5/8/16
Related Material:
The Progress Of The Friend Is More Important Than My Own Progress [4]
What Do I Value In A Friend? [5]
The Common Desire Makes Us Friends [6]