Question: The main reason for divorce in Israel is love that has died out (36%), the second reason is financial problems (32.5%), and the third reason is unfaithfulness (11.2%). How do you relate to love that has died out?
Answer: I don’t understand what this means!
When I first saw my future wife, even when I was not religious or a Kabbalist, I asked myself: Is she the person I will be able to stand by my side for a very long time, and I realized that she was and that I would also be able to do so. She is indulging, hard working, loves to study, and was ready to follow me in the years when I was refused Aliyah. In those days it was dangerous even to speak about going to Israel!
But on our very first meeting I already told her: “I am going to Israel, do you agree to come with me…?” Since otherwise there was no point seeing each other anymore, and she agreed.
Question: But you haven’t said anything about love…
Answer: Love is an emotion that appears as a result of a long connection between people, when they support one another and are concerned about and care about each other.
At first it is only hormones that bring people together, just like in the animal world. You can see the same thing in nature films, but when it comes to animals, the connection is only at specific times, at a certain age. When it comes to humans, it is permanent.
I believe that poets and writers invented the term “love” in order to confuse people. I am sure that a couple of centuries ago there was no love and people simply connected because they thought “she is right for me,” or “he is right for me.” They matched each other, felt close, understood and supported one another, and that’s all.
Question: What do people mean when they say that love is gone?
Answer: What love?! Hormones cannot act for forty, fifty or sixty years, especially when it comes to men!
Question: Why do they act? Why do people live together for 50-60 years?
Answer: People live together because they have children; they have shared property, etc. There is nothing we can do about it, the habit was given to us from Above, but this is not love in any way!
Question: So what is love?
Answer: Love is a feeling of mutual understanding, of mutual connection and loyalty, of mutual commitment. It is a feeling of partnership, of an inner connection, of a “debt” to another person. You are not forced into it, but simply feel you are committed. What is more, a person feels that his partner treats him the same way. This is called love. We take this definition from the wisdom of Kabbalah where love is called a desire to bestow unto another and not the other way around, while in our world it is a desire to receive something corporeal from another person, to receive as much as possible and as soon as possible.
This is a totally egoistic interpretation of the term “love,” which is opposite from its true meaning,
Question: It turns out that you actually need to develop love.
Answer: Yes, but only on the basis of mutual understanding, by hard work between us.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 7/28/16