Man And Woman — A Magnet Between Them, Part 2

Laitman_511_01Question: What determines a person’s desires? Different men like different women, and different women like different men. Why does it happen this way?

Answer: It is less apparent in animals because they feel exactly what is the most suitable for them. A male chooses the healthiest female capable of giving birth to healthy offspring. And females also choose a mate on the same basis: the strongest and the healthiest that can produce healthy cubs and protect the family.

Actually, people unconsciously are guided by the same principles. And although it seems to us that this isn’t so and we hide behind nice words, but our attraction to each other is mostly due to just that.

And since there are all four levels in every creature: still, vegetative, animate, and human, all people are divided into four types according to their character: sanguine, phlegmatic, choleric, and melancholic. It also influences the choice of a partner.

In human society, this choice is affected by many factors: education, habits, and belonging to a specific nation and culture. And therefore the natural, indigenous desire of a person is greatly disguised. If we strip off all external influences, each one will choose a woman that his body requires who is also suitable to him in character.

A suitable partner is someone who completes me. That is, I would feel that I would be fine with her. After all, we are going to live together for a long time, unlike animals that meet only for a short time in order to produce offspring.

A man and a woman create a family in order to spend a life together, which includes everything: education, culture, work, creating a home, and raising children and grandchildren. It binds us in such forms of connection that we don’t select a partner according to the inner call of nature and according to natural instincts.

We follow the generally accepted opinions, standards, and fashions that varies in each generation. Throughout human history, it was believed that an attractive woman should have a full figure and be short in stature. And today, on the contrary, everybody likes tall thin ones. These are external qualities, but the internal requirements for a woman have changed too.

In the old days, a woman was only required to be able to do housework, to cook, clean, take care of children, and bear children. And today, her education, profession, cultural and educational level, social status, and the ability to integrate into society are important. These requirements have changed dramatically over the past century.

And they are not natural because although we are all different, we are measured with the same criteria. Therefore it works differently for each one, depending how close or how far they are from it. Each person is rich internally and has his own taste, unique opinion and views on everything. And we are driven into a very narrow frame and converted into a homogeneous mass.

In every class at school out of 15 girls five are valued and the rest are viewed as second-class citizens because they don’t conform to the standards and fashion. However, this never happened before.

There were no such stringent standards, and each one was measuring to his liking according to his heart. Some liked fuller-figured women, some liked thin ones, some liked tall ones, and some liked short ones, according to the internal program of each one. Also, a man likes a woman that reminds him of his mother, meaning is similar to her.

But today society is so tied to the generally accepted standards that it doesn’t allow a person to realize his inner, natural aspiration correctly. And this is the basis of all problems of our society because people meet, get married, have children, and then realize that they one they chose is not one that suits their inner desire. We act according to the models imposed on us by society and therefore we are unhappy.
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 4/5/16

Related Material:
Man And Woman — A Magnet Between Them, Part 1
An Attractive Cover Or A Never Ending Story?
Searching For Someone To Make Happy!

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