Question: If all the changes depend only upon the environment that is built by man, what does Pharaoh control?
Answer: Pharaoh is my present heart and mind. I don’t feel that my heart and mind are free of him; it is a great achievement to discover that they are found under the control of Pharaoh.
Pharaoh controls my whole life, everything I had and everything that I have now. Within my body is some kind of evil spirit that fills me entirely, moves me, and determines all of my thoughts, desires, decisions, and deeds.
It is some kind of evil internal force that penetrates into me and has control over me from which I cannot escape. I am filled entirely with this alien, hostile force, and I cannot be released from it. How can I expel it, renounce it from me?
I feel that my entire life belongs to Pharaoh, and there is only one independent point within which I can determine that I am in slavery to Pharaoh, the evil inclination.
Question: I absolutely feel that I am under the control of my mind and emotions!
Answer: If you think that this is your mind and emotions, everything is okay. You are not in Egypt yet; rather, you are like everyone else in this world. You have not discovered yet that there is an alien control that does with you whatever it wants. It is as if they are doing experiments from another planet on all seven billion people and managing us. Yet, we don’t feel this and each one feels that he is free.
However, we are beginning to discover a bit that we are under an alien influence. In the meantime, you still haven’t discovered this. Yet, there are those who already have.
Question: How is Pharaoh’s control over me expressed?
Answer: This alien domination means that I don’t agree with the spirit that dominates me. I don’t agree with its existence in me and want another spirit, a spirit of bestowal, love, and giving. Thanks to my participation in studying and dissemination, a change is occurring in me, and I am beginning to appreciate another characteristic that doesn’t exist in me.
In the beginning, I want it because I feel better with it, more whole. Yet, after that, I simply begin to appreciate it. I specifically want to have the characteristic of bestowal that grants me a sensation of freedom, reducing the pressures and limitations of this world. The characteristic of bestowal is so amazing and wonderful!
Yet, gradually, I begin to perceive the characteristic of bestowal as a vision, as a burden on my soul that I dream about and I cannot explain why. This is called “sacred grace.” Apparently, how can one love it if it is completely against this world? Yet, I want to reach bestowal.
Moreover, I begin to look at the desire to receive as something very strange. How is it possible at all to receive for myself and enjoy this? I recognize this characteristic that is found in me and understand that this is simply a program that has been installed in me. I am given a sensation within my system so that I enjoy receiving. Yet, in fact, this is only a program, and it can be replaced so that reception will stop giving me pleasure.
I begin to have a relative attitude toward bestowal and reception when I understand that this is not really me but a program that can be replaced by another.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/1/14, Shamati #190