Question: What can be done if after we have checked the needs and the deficiencies of the friends, we see that we cannot help them, we don’t know how to fulfill their needs?

Answer: So we pray, we ask for help.

Question: How does one turn in the right way with a request, with a prayer, so that it will bring the Light that Reforms?

Answer: For that you must enter into the friend’s problem as if it were your problem.

Question: But I cannot change myself.

Answer: Right, only the friends can change you. In the spiritual path, a person sees how weak he is. In the spiritual path I discover that I have “no hands.” I have no way of helping myself and I am completely at the mercy of my environment. If the friends want it, I will advance; if they don’t want it, I will not advance.

So we reach true Arvut. To advance, I require a connection with friends. So I am ready to give them everything.

And then vice versa: I no longer want anything for myself and don’t think about my advancement. Instead, I think about having the opportunity to support them, to help them. This is true Arvut.
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From the 5^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/16/14, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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