Baal HaSulam, “Introduction to The Book of Zohar,”: …reception in order to bestow is regarded as pure bestowal.

In Masechet Kidushin it is written that with an important man she gives and he says—by that you are sanctified. Because when his reception is in order to delight her, the giver, it is deemed absolute bestowal and giving. Thus, one buys complete adhesion with Him, for spiritual adhesion is but equivalence of form, as our sages said, “How is it possible to cleave unto Him? Rather, cleave on to His qualities.” And by that, one becomes worthy of receiving all the delight and pleasure and the gentleness in the thought of creation.

Comment: To begin with, a woman should be aware of a man’s importance and enjoy it. Only then she is dedicated to him.

Answer: The same thing happens between us and the Creator. We have to unite with each other because love for the created beings precedes love for Him.

We form a common force between us, the common spiritual vessel, which is called the “woman” or “Shechina” relative to the Creator. The Creator for us is like the “Bridegroom,” and we want to give Him all the pleasures, all the possibilities, our entire life, i.e., all the intention in order to bestow. Then, to the same extent, He “buys” us, in other words, accepts and fulfills us.

However at the beginning, there is a need for the awakening from below, our ascent to Him. The bride has to attract the Bridegroom, to encourage Him to unite with her. Therefore, first we have to prepare the altruistic intention. If it is big and strong, if we really want to give Him everything, to that extent we will oblige Him to act because He has the common desire to bring goodness.

Then the Creator will turn to the group, to us, and will want to unite, to desire to enter into adhesion with us, in spiritual “intercourse” (Zivug).

All this is manifested in the relations of those who are directed straight to the Creator (Yashar-El – Israel), to the upper force. The whole rite of passage, marriage indicates a connection between the Creator and the created beings. The bride has nothing to give, except her service to the Bridegroom. That’s all she can do.
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From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 1/1/14, Writings of Baal HaSulam 

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