Is there a difference between how the upper force controls the part in us called “Israel” and the other part of ours called “the nations of the world”? How does the upper force relate to and influence these two parts in us? It’s not just a “plus” and a “minus,” but rather complicated and diverse actions in their direct and reverse forms.

Is it mandatory that in our egoism, the part that belongs to the nations of the world, we have to go through misfortunes, whereas when we become “Israel” we feel good? It may be just the opposite, and usually this is what happens.

After all, the part in me that belongs to “Israel” has to be elevated and raised to an even more advanced level. For that, I need to feel the difficulties and problems in the part of Israel in me. If I receive support in this part, then I would feel only egoistic benefits and so I would never grow up. In order to advance the part  of Israel in us, we just have to feel increasing pressure. That’s why the war of Gog and Magog and the pressure that precedes the Messiah’s arrival have to be extremely powerful and strong, unparalleled in history.

At the same time, the part of me that belongs to the nations of the world has to experience delight instead of suffering. After all, if this part feels enjoyment, we would be permanently confused and would have no chance to differentiate between right and wrong, like in the city of Shushan, the capital of the Babylonian kingdom, where they could not decide who was right, Mordecai or Haman.

So, it means that the Creator’s governance over those who aspire to advance is totally illogical. That’s why our internal philosopher cannot stop objecting to it. Even Rabbi Shimon continues to ask questions. At this level, there are no philosophers since philosophers don’t understand this stage. Only those people who are engaged in spiritual work can be concerned with these questions.

Philosophers explain everything in a very easy way since they are driven by profits in their pockets, stomachs, and minds… They act within a direct desire to receive. At this point, other questions emerge: How does the upper governance rule a person who is engaged in spiritual development? It turns out that the upper governance acts totally opposite to all our desires (both receiving and bestowing) and is contrary to both the nations of the world and Israel within us. It’s so “irrational” that we cannot realize how different it is. We constantly tend to judge these phenomena directly because our desires are not yet corrected.

I feel a complete failure in my bestowing desires, whereas in my receiving desires I am just fine. I feel this way since my level is still corrupt, and that’s why it seems to me that it is worth sticking to my egoistic desires and it’s not worth following my bestowing desires. In the bestowing desires, I constantly feel that I am a complete loser; at the same time when I am in my receiving desires, I feel that I can win.

This is what our internal judge sees, since “one judges according to what his eyes can see.” Only when the point in the heart awakens can we attach it to our environment, thus implementing our freewill and sticking to new values of bestowal. Then we can go deeper inside ourselves and scrutinize and clarify our desires, intentions, and thoughts correctly. This is ongoing work.
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From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 8/18/13, The Zohar

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