Question: What should I do if in a moment I am thrown from merit to sin? If in one tipping point, suddenly, everything turns from white to black?

Answer: What merits and sins can you have? All your life you have acted according to your natural instincts like an animal. That is why all the complaints should be directed to the Master who has created you. You have no independence, and you cannot say that you, yourself, have done something bad. Everything is done by the upper force. Soon, you will see this and understand that no one is to blame, and there is no one at which to be angry. Then, you will see a completely different picture.

The problem is that there is no Creator in your life, and thus you attribute some freedom of will to others and yourself, as if you are responsible for your actions. It is like blaming the kids in kindergarten. Is it possible to say that one child is bad and another is good? These all are natural qualities: Some children are aggressive and others are crybabies. Thus nature moves us in order to bring us to the realization of evil, which the Creator made inherent in us.

We must go through many blows and then the Creator gradually will explain that He did so, so we would want to get rid of our nature with which we were created. The Creator plays with us because, as it is written, “There is none else besides Him.” Do you think that you act yourself, instead of Him?

People are used to what is written in books: “your sins,” “your merits.” Our task is to explain this in a more understandable way because the time has come when the true meaning of these words can be revealed. However, these are not your sins and transgressions. It is not you who made and caused them. You did not choose the qualities with which to be born. We are all puppets, from Hitler and to the greatest saints of the world.

However, these puppets get an addition at some point, a drop of the opposite property, and then they change their aspirations according to this new property: They seek bestowal and begin to study without understanding why they study. The study determines the goal for them and this also is established by the Creator.

However, after these two opposite properties are determined in them, one against the other, reception and bestowal, they begin to find the opportunity for independent work in the middle line, between them. It is a special feeling that you soon reach, and then you will know how to build yourself from these two properties, the left and right lines. You will understand that both these lines are required.

The Creator will help you to connect them together, to understand what the drop of the semen of bestowal is and how to add to it more, cell by cell, a new understanding, sensing the concepts, teaching us how to grow this material.

It is clear that the Light does all the work, working on new material. The Light and desire meet and their mixture rises like dough, but I cause this myself. I understand and feel how it happens. This is my creation, like from a piece of dough. I take a handful of flour and add the exact amount of water to it, no more and no less. At first, it seems that there is not enough water and I must work hard kneading my dough, but, in the end, it will be ready to be put in the oven and baked!

Thus, these two ingredients, flour and water, are turned into the “poor man’s bread” (Matzah). From the point of the desire to enjoy, it is simple bread, and nothing more is needed, and above it, everything is open. Freedom is opened.
[112755]
From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/16/13, The Zohar

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