Answer: We are not the owners of the heart, the environment controls it. If I want to think about something serious and sublime, I take a book or watch a movie, or talk to myself. But if I want to change the desire in my heart, I need external influence.
It all depends on how I arrange my life. You have to regard ordinary life like a theater, that is, to give it only as much importance as necessary. I have to go to work and lead an ordinary life like everyone else. Yet I don’t treat it as my real life, but rather as a theater play, in which there are actors who play their role as was determined by the Creator and they’re not even aware of it.
The one thing that can really influence me is the group. In all of reality there is only this one tool, which I can influence and which can influence me. I can prepare myself to have a more sensitive perception of their influence and then I will get it.
So, all my work is concentrated only within the group. There’s no other way to change a person’s heart. Sometimes people think that it’s possible to study and to disseminate more and thus to advance. But the study is no substitute for the group. A person’s advancement is only possible through the group.
The group can be very big or very small or even virtual and not physical. But in any case I have to be around people who are like me, towards whom I can practically annul myself, give them presents, respect them, and see them as the greatest in our generation. I have to act before them by seeing myself as a total zero, as dust under their feet. Then through the group, the Light will influence me because I annul myself. This is an actual annulment and not some imagination like in relation to the Creator in front of whom everyone is ready to lower their heads.
Then I will see to what extent these actions are efficient and how they could have helped me if I had done them many years ago. I don’t understand why I haven’t heard about this until now. After all, it is so simple. In fact, I did hear but didn’t carry it out. It takes a long time until a person finally hears and begins to do something.
From the 2nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/18/2012, The Zohar