What is meant by “my friend is concealed”? Sometimes I feel that a pleasant, wonderful sensation, understanding, or fulfillment that was present in me moves away, cools, and disappears. These levels of separation are called Nekudot – points. There are Taamim – tastes, which are felt during the Light’s exit, and there are Nekudot – points, impressions from the Light’s exit. Nekudot are precisely the place from which new vessels or desires form. We study this in Preface to the Science of Kabbalah and in Talmud Eser Sefirot.
We have to see this gradual disappearance of Light as the creation of new vessels/desires, like in a flirt or game. This separation, the sensation that the Light seems to leave you, is an invitation to pursue it, to show that you really desire it, that you won’t let it leave you. Even if it moves away or grows weaker, you desire to be merged with it in the impending darkness.
Through these games the Creator builds an attitude to Him within us that is independent from our will to enjoy. He moves away, but I am willing to be with Him in any case. He dwindles, but I still want to remain in this darkness. That is, these games are not played in relation to me, but in relation to my will to enjoy, my ego. And above my ego I wish to be merged with the Creator in spite of feeling darkness in my ego.
This is my ego, this is me—above it, and across from me there is Light. And I am willing for the ego to feel darkness and emptiness. This does not matter to me.
Most importantly, I know that in spite of my negative desire, the total absence of fulfillment in my ego, I want to be connected with the Light precisely in these situations. This means I am “above reason,” already in bestowal. Therefore, the Light’s separation builds desires for spirituality within me.
From the 6th lesson at the Toronto Convention 09/19/11
Cursory Thoughts On Shamati, “What Is The Reason For The Heaviness One Feels When Annulling Before The Creator”
Cursory Thoughts On Shamati, “Lishma Is Awakening From Above”
Cursory Thoughts On Shamati, “The Essence Of Spiritual Attainment”