Do Not Hurt A Friend
Question: When a person is approaching the property of bestowal, how is it reflected in his work in the group?
Answer: He tries all the time to maintain a sense of mutual guarantee so that his friends feel no lack of anything, so that they strengthen the mutual intention to bestow, do not forget about this, and do not abandon efforts for a moment. Then, they will also affect him, and the feeling of the importance of the goal and the warmth of the hearts will reign between them.
That is what concerns a person. The thoughts about the friends are more effective than the thoughts about oneself. Caring about personal advancement will bring only little correction, induced by fear and other external calculations. On the other hand, if one invests efforts in others, he or she certainly holds the true course.
Thoughts, intentions, and calculations not aimed at the connection with the group, at the unity with friends, are directed past spirituality. They do not attract the Light that Reforms. The important thing is only what you intend to do in the group. If you care about cohesion of friends, about their future, this is the spiritual work which will bear fruit, and everything else except this will not.
Hillel gave a short definition: “What is hateful to you, do not do to another.” In other words, you have nothing else to think of in your life but how not to hurt a friend. This is enough for your egoism for the time being. Try to correct yourself so that in every moment, in each revealed desire, you think only about how not to hurt a friend.
Do this, and you will succeed: When you will desire to act without hurting a friend, a good attitude towards him will be suddenly revealed to you.
[48313]
From the 5th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 7/10/2011, “Matan Torah (The Giving of the Torah)”
Related Material:
Quarreling For The Sake Of Making Up
Bestowal For The Sake Of Bestowal: A Clean-Up State
Why Love My Friend More Than Myself?
The Right To Serve The Friends
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I have mixed feelings about this, because I know that yelling at those who are hateful ultimately doesn’t work. Although, what are we to do when someone hurts another. My reasons for yelling at abusive people were that they would make fun of a disabled person, put him down and bully him. Or, they would steal or try to gossip behind my back, etc. I really hated the hatefulness and for years said nothing to them, finally, I yelled at them after I would get frustrated waiting for them to change their selfishness. However, that only works for a few minutes. I would have much rather not have yelled at them, however, being kind and passive didn’t change them from abusive and being hateful towards others. But, my being kind, did change things to being peaceful between us for the time being. I’m sorry, I just have mixed feelings about them. I know, that with friends who are less abusive, thinking of them first, works. It’s the hateful ones that are hard to deal with.