Whether we like it or not, in each state we must always come to feel the lack, that is, to imagine the future state out of our present one. If I construct it correctly, then despite of all my efforts to do so, I will feel how distant I really am from it. In other words, I really want it, and yet I am unable to attain it.

This is called a “lack,” preparation for the future state, which is always revealed before passing into a new state. This feeling of lack is very multidimensional and unpleasant.

The next state shines on me, and because of this luminescence, I begin to value it more, while perceiving my present state as defective and insufficient. I feel the extent to which I lack the strength to ascend and the extent to which I desire it.

As a result, I come to a convergence of my passionate desire to ascend and my realization that I have no chance of making it happen, and that is when I erupt into a prayer, a scream, and the upper Light comes to my aid. After all, this scream (prayer) shows my great desire, which draws the right kind of Light, helping me to ascend to the next degree.

I must come to a scream which comprises two components: 1) my great desire to achieve bestowal, and 2) the realization that I can never achieve it. It is only when I’m about to explode from this pressure caused by my desire and my powerlessness to actualize it, that the Light reacts to the pain and influences me.

Waiting for the Light to come by itself is pointless. It comes in response to my desire for bestowal and draws me with the force sufficient to raise me to a higher degree.
[41023]
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/18/2011, “This Is for Judah”

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