Question: Material life tells me to be a leader, express myself, and achieve my goals. And in spirituality, I must dissolve myself in the group. What is behind this contradiction?

Answer: Connecting with the group doesn’t mean that you are annulling yourself. You only receive from the friends the force that helps you to cultivate your Self. As a drop of semen that attaches itself to the wall of the womb, you nullify yourself only in order to receive nourishment, forces for growth. But that is what grows and not something else.

I annul part of myself in order to receive the force of the upper Partzuf, but it still needn’t control me; on the contrary, with its help I must evolve, raise my Self. Otherwise, there will be no growth, and at the next stage, I won’t be able to hold on to the wall of the womb.

There are two opposites combined here. On one hand, I renounce myself before the mother so I don’t become a foreign body as cause for toxicity. On the other, by nullifying myself, I receive blood from the mother and grow thanks to that. It is my properties and genes that develop, to the extent that I can even be male although she is female.
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From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/8/2011, “The Freedom”

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